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Monday, September 20, 2021

Humor: UC Davis opens Men’s Resource Center

LUCY KNOWLES / AGGIE

Just when you thought the Silo was the best renovation

Among the many things UC Davis is currently renovating, the university decided last week to follow its series of innovative and necessary changes by opening a Men’s Resource Center. Though many female faculty seemed opposed to the idea, it’s clear that they really don’t know what’s best for them and should know that things like this just kind of happen.

It was later mansplained to these women that the UC Davis Women’s Resources and Research Center will be torn down in order to make room for the incoming Men’s Resource Center.

“We don’t really understand how irony works,” said Eli “The” Misogynist, the leader of the construction project and an all-around awful person. “So I’m okay with this.”

Female students seemed concerned about the renovation, too, but “The” Misogynist was sure to address their worries by detailing what the project is really about.

“Men are a minority which is targeted every day. We need resources available to us on campus to remind women that not everything is about them. It is really self-centered to have a center dedicated to your gender.”

Other male students agree with Misogynist, and added their unsolicited opinions to the conversation.

“Men go through a lot of struggles. For example, a woman will never understand the pain of being separated from the boyz, or being called ‘sexist’ for catcalling women. These things hurt, and we need coping mechanisms,” claimed an anonymous student who doesn’t think women are people.

There really is no arguing with that logic. If women are actually equal to men, then why do they keep demanding equality? Also, why did they fight so hard in the early 1900s to keep suffering? It just doesn’t add up. Maybe because women can’t do math or because they don’t have boyfriends or husbands to teach them. Luckily, with the added resources for men, women might finally have a chance to learn.

 

Written by: Lara Loptman — lrloptman@ucdavis.edu

 

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)

4 COMMENTS

  1. What a horrible state of journalism when garbage like this satirical article is posted. UC Davis should be ashamed of this.

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