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Friday, April 19, 2024

Humor: Gary May in shock: “I’m the chancellor of what?”


Gary May apparently did not understand that he’s the chancellor of UC Davis

Reporters from The Aggie interviewed Gary May, the current chancellor of UC Davis, about how he felt regarding the direction of the university under his guidance. We found Gary May in his office, constructing a Lego replica of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek that took up his whole desk. There was nothing else in his office except for boxes of Lego sets.

“Oh, hey guys. I wasn’t expecting you to come so soon,” May said as he shoved the Lego set off his desk. “What do ya need?”

We asked him his feelings on being the chancellor of a great university such as UC Davis, and how he felt regarding the pressures and responsibilities that were undoubtedly beginning to weigh on him. He was confused.

“What do you mean? What pressures? All I do is build Star Trek Lego sets all day long,” May said, obviously very confused.

We told him that we understood him to be the chancellor of UC Davis.

“I’m the president of what? I thought that I was just applying to be the president of a chess club! I guess that explains all the media coverage I’ve been getting lately. Huh. Well, I mean, I’ll still get to build my Legos right? I’m 53! I want to start to wind down my life a little bit. I’ve already done all that administration school stuff. I thought that life was behind me. But what are ya gonna do? I guess I have to take this responsibility and own it.”

We decided at this point it would be best to leave May to himself. It might take awhile for him to fully grasp the level of responsibility he has.

It’s not clear yet what will happen going forward. But whatever happens, we don’t have a doubt in our minds that Gary May will do a great job leading the university — once he’s done building the Lego sets.


Written by: Aaron Levins — adlevins@ucdavis.edu


(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)


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