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Monday, July 15, 2024

Humor: Confused Gary May leaves school in May: “I thought we were a semester school”


New chancellor confused with layout of quarter system, attempts to leave while school is still in session

Gary May, the former dean of Georgia Tech’s College of Engineering, has spent a significant amount of time in Davis after being named the school’s new chancellor. May has worked closely with Interim Chancellor Ralph Hexter to learn the ropes of his new school’s administration.

May, however, seems to have not been informed that UC Davis is a quarter school, unlike Georgia Tech. With school starting in late September and ending in the middle of June, the quarter system can confuse students — and clearly the chancellor as well. Gary May fell into that familiar trap and has attempted to leave to spend the summer with his friends.

“Honestly, I goofed,” May said. “I thought we were a semester school. Quarter schools are pretty rare. Berkeley is a semester school — I figured all of the UCs were the same.”

May has admitted to his mistake, but the damage has been done. May has unfortunately proven that he has yet to learn how the Davis system works. Questions surrounding May’s dedication to the school have been raised as a result of his premature vacation.

May was also seen sporting a Vegas gold jacket, which is a UC Davis color but also a Georgia Tech color. The breast pocket had Georgia Tech’s logo of a yellowjacket. UC Davis students have noticed these small mistakes.

“Whatever, he’s new,” said third-year international relations major Bronson Pew. “Given the other scandals that we’ve had over the past few years, I don’t mind that he wore the wrong jacket or tried to book it too early. These things happen.”

Other students, however, are concerned about May’s many early mix-ups.

“I don’t know how this is going to play out in the long run,” said fourth-year biology major Tim May, who has no relation to Gary May. “If May can’t figure out when we end school, what’s going to happen when there’s another incident that requires quick thought? We can’t have silly mistakes like wearing the heinous Vegas gold and accidentally representing the wrong school.”

These concerns are valid, but Gary May is stepping into a large role with a fair amount of experience. The transition to the West Coast might take longer than some had  hoped, but he has proven with his extensive resume that he is fit for the job. Small gaffes happen. He’s under the microscope after issues with the prior administration have led to distrust among students and the powers-that-be. May will do his job effectively and continue this school’s upward trend.


Written by: Ethan Victor — ejvictor@ucdavis.edu


(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)


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