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Saturday, April 20, 2024

Humor: Student goes to college, realizes he’s been living in a bubble his whole life


Yes, an actual bubble

Jonathan Byers, a first-year plant biology major, recently realized that he’s been living in a bubble his entire life. It took coming to college for him to arrive at this life-changing revelation.

Oh yeah, it’s like a real bubble. With a ten-foot circumference.

“No one decided to tell me my entire life that I had a bubble following me around everywhere I went,” said Byers. “I mean, it would have been nice if my friends or family had told me or something, but I guess they were all too polite. It took coming to college for my bubble to pop.”

Indeed, Byers had spent his whole life with a massive bubble floating around his body, following him everywhere. The bubble was totally transparent, as bubbles are. Byers believes that no one telling him about the massive bubble could have had something to do with its transparency — because, you know, it was transparent.

“I suppose that, when you live your whole life with a bubble around you, everyone gets used to it,” Byers said. “So they don’t even think to let you know about the absolutely huge bubble. I guess it takes fresh faces and a new environment to finally know that you’ve been living inside a literal bubble your entire life.”

We asked Byers what he did to remove it.

“We had a big party,” Byers said. “By then everyone had named my bubble Cherry, ‘cause, you know, a bubble is spherical like a cherry. So we got together and had a party to pop my big ol’ Cherry! It‘s nice when all your friends get together and pop your Cherry. And I think popping my Cherry was a life lesson. Sometimes you need friends who are willing to pop your Cherry!”


Written by: Aaron Levins — adlevins@ucdavis.edu


(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)


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