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Thursday, April 18, 2024

Humor: Archaeology professor introduces students to “The Bone Zone”

The most interactive space to satisfy your boning needs

Professor Hume believed in creating a space where students could learn about dead animals while also having a lot of fun. A pet morgue? A museum? My backyard, full of the bodies of the cats and dogs I’ve had that all tragically died young? None of these things! Hume created an interactive space called “The Bone Zone.”

You’re probably thinking, “What?” — you lack creativity and humor. “Why would a serious professor create a space like this… and name it that?” What do you mean, name it that? You got a problem with the name? Well you can go  ahead and click the exit button, buddy, because I don’t have time for haters.

Oh right, I could see how that could be misconstrued. Well, you nasty weirdo, “The Bone Zone” is a wholesome space of fun and science, and we don’t need you and your sexual innuendos anywhere near it.

Anyway, “The Bone Zone” is a great place to go look at the bones of animals who existed long ago and whose very existence is likely fabricated by the publishing academic industrial complex that seeks to expand and absorb all world governments until we are under the rule of a massive corporate Machiavellian Leviathan that will require you to buy something every time you want to poop.

“The Bone Zone” opens on Oct. 31 — just in time for Halloween!


Written by: Aaron Levins — adlevins@ucdavis.edu

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)


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