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Davis, California

Tuesday, April 23, 2024

Humor: Awkward: CoHo to replace all coffee with La Croix


Great content for your Insta feed

With each passing Fall Quarter, the CoHo seems to get more and more innovative. From taking mobile orders to offering açai bowls all day, this place practically had everything students could ever want. That is, until the CoHo remembered that what students really want is copious amounts of La Croix.

That’s right, you guessed it. The CoHo will be kicking off the school year by replacing all of its coffee with La Croix — and a lot of it. You might have a few questions. That’s natural.  

You might be thinking, “Isn’t coffee, like, the CoHo’s thing? Isn’t it named the Coffee House?”

The answer is, we’re not really sure. Sources can neither confirm nor deny these allegations, and with so much fake news out on the ‘net, there’s really no way to be certain.

Another great thought you might have: “Isn’t coffee a fall staple? Will my Instagram suffer?”

The answer to both questions is “probably,” but trends change, and there’s no reason that La Croix can’t be the centerpiece of your fall Insta feed.

As always, we anticipate the inevitable “Why is the CoHo replacing all of its coffee with La Croix?” question. Look, we’re just a newspaper, and we don’t have all the answers. If you wanted to hear a story from a valid news source, you could always listen to Fox. But if you want to open a can of La Croix with The Aggie this fall, you can come to the CoHo.


Written by: Lara Loptman — lrloptman@ucdavis.edu

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)


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