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Sunday, September 19, 2021

Humor: What to wear to office hours

RAUL MORALES / AGGIE

Attire that says you care

If you’re a student who has ever been to office hours, you probably haven’t put much thought into what you were wearing. You probably showed up in whatever outfit you designed to sustain you in the three different climates you experience in a day at Davis. However, I urge you to dress differently. Fashion is expression, and what you’re wearing will probably give your professor a clearer idea of the type of strong individual you are. And you want that, because it’s your professor who grades your assignments. You want to leave lasting impressions, so here are some things you can wear to office hours to make sure your professors never forget you:

 

  1. Bike helmet: I think bike helmets really represent precaution and maturity. If you have a question in week eight about something you were supposed to understand by week one, go in with the helmet. While you’re admitting to your professor that you’ve been behind for nearly the whole quarter, the bike helmet with reassure them that you’re usually on top of things.
  2. Lab coat: If you’re an English major, you might want to try out this method. Borrow something sciencey like a lab coat and goggles from your pre-med roommate. It’s important you let your English professor know that you’re busy with other things like “lab.” They will grade your essay with the understanding that you’re an eclectic person with many skills.
  3. A shirt with their face on it: If it’s a professor who thinks highly of themselves — and most of them do — show up with a customized t-shirt with your professor’s face on it. Bonus points if you include a list of their published research on the back. This will let your professor know that they’re respected and loved, and that’s probably enough to get away with asking any idiotic question.
  4. Full tuxedo: If you’re someone who only wears pajamas to your 8, 9 and 10 a.m. lectures, really wow your morning professor by wearing a full-on tux to their afternoon office hours. This will show your professor that you’re committed to waking up early for their class — but outside of the class you’re a professional who dresses like one, too.
  5. Relatable clothing: This one is for all you people who go into office hours without any other reason than just saying hi to your professor. It’s a method that is likely to hook you up with plenty of internships and job opportunities in the future, but the initial move towards befriending your professor can be rather awkward. While this one requires some background research, I suggest you find out where your professor grew up, his alma mater or favorite band and get some apparel to match your professor’s interests and hobbies. It will be a nice conversation starter, but after that it’s up to you.

 

Written by: Rosie Schwarz — rschwarz@ucdavis.edu

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)

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