Humor: How to build back your trust in the city of Davis after it willingly let Whole Foods go

ZACK ZOLMER / AGGIE

Yet another luxury grocery store bites the dust

Building trust back up in a relationship can be a very challenging thing, especially if the trust was built on the assumption of a certain luxury grocery store always being around.

This probably sounds like a problem almost any person can relate to, but what I’m referring to specifically is how to build your trust back up in the city of Davis after it allowed a fine establishment like Whole Foods to slip through its careless fingers.

Stay Open and Honest

You’re probably thinking right now, “My city is a monster and I’ll never be able to forgive it.” This is understandable, considering that Davis allowed a place that served gourmet hot food and baked goods in the same place to just disappear after you’d created what seemed like a lifetime of memories there. Remember when you got the kombucha on tap there? Or had your very first La Croix? Those were the days. Well, now you need to put your feelings aside and stay honest with the city. A strongly worded letter to the mayor should do. You could also just go big from the start and stand in the parking lot and shout your feelings near the empty store.

Appreciate Consistency

Celebrate the consistency of your city to continuously make decisions that end up devastating you and your oddly luxurious taste in mundane food items. For example, you could reminiscence on the time Pachamama closed. You’d only gotten coffee there like, once, but it still hurt. Of course, it wasn’t the same pain you feel now that you can’t get WiFi and vegan, soy-free ice cream at the same place. Also, remember when The Melt closed? You were heartbroken. They literally put mac ‘n’ cheese into a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, who else does that? Anyway, just really take time to soak in the fact that your city doesn’t care about you or your exotic cravings that pretty much none of your other friends understand.

With these inspiring tips, it’s almost guaranteed that you’ll begin to forgive the city of Davis for ripping the only thing that really mattered to you from your grasp. After all, why ruminate on the memories of the only thing in Davis that brought you true joy and happiness? It’s time for you to move on and get back out there! Maybe try the CoHo or something.

 

Written by: Lara Loptman — lrloptman@ucdavis.edu

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)

Leave a Comment

*