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Saturday, April 20, 2024

Humor: Aww! Student, professor bond: both exposed to Wellman asbestos


The most contagious disease at UC Davis is friendship

It’s a beautiful thing when two very different people can come together and forget their differences. Though we wish we were talking about Linda Katehi and Gary May, we’re actually  referring to a student and professor duo who realized they had one inspiring thing in common: They were both exposed to equal amounts of asbestos in Wellman Hall during Spring Quarter.

If you don’t know the asbestos drama, we can give you a rundown. Basically, asbestos is bad. Like, really, really bad. We don’t really know the details, but we do know that it’s not a very good thing. Now that you have a comprehensive understanding of the situation’s magnitude, we would like to indulge you with a heartwarming tale.

Last Spring Quarter, oblivious first-year Grace Hackie realized during office hours that her chronic cough was nearly identical to that of her underwater basket weaving professor’s.

“I knew something was up,” Hackie said. “I was like, wait a minute. I recognize that chronic cough. That’s my chronic cough.”

Not long after, Hackie made the startling connection.

“At first, I didn’t want to believe I had anything in common with a guy who went to grad school for underwater basket weaving,” Hackie said. “But the more I coughed and the more he coughed, I think we really started to vibe.”

Hackie’s professor, Dr. A. S. Bestos, was just as stoked to learn he could finally relate to one of his students.

“Initially I thought my severe chest pain was something I had to go to the doctor for. Luckily now, I know that feeling is just the feeling of building a long lasting connection with a student.”

Truly an Earth-shattering story. We should all be so lucky to be infected with the contagion that is true friendship. Luckily, if you stop by Wellman Hall today, you just might be able to.


Written by: Lara Loptman — lrloptman@ucdavis.edu

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)



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