Contemplate the Academy Awards with The Editorial Board
Emily Stack, Managing Editor
I love the unexpectedness inherent in a live broadcast, so I’m eagerly awaiting drama and Monday morning’s “10 Wildest Things That Happened at the Oscars” articles. Will someone have an awkward, uncomfortable interaction with an E! host? Will someone give a bizarre, incoherent acceptance speech? Who will give us the worst mispronunciation of Timothée Chalamet or Saoirse Ronan? Who will show up obviously drunk or high? What profanity will Frances McDormand sneak past the censors? What will gay Twitter say?
On a more serious note, this has been the most politically-charged awards season in recent memory, and it’s nigh-impossible that #TimesUp and the reckoning currently burning through Hollywood won’t get brought up. Though I’m generally wary of performative speeches as activism, I’m eager to see what gets said and who’ll be willing to say it.
Hannah Holzer, Campus News Editor
The Oscars is one of my top five favorite days of the year. Having seen six out of the nine Best Picture nominees, I have spent a long, introspective period deciding which film should win. Finally, after much important deliberation, I’ve settled on “The Post.” Now, before you point out the obvious — yes, I am a journalist, good point — those of you who know me know Tom Hanks is one of my all-time favorite persons on the planet. And he did a darn good job.
I know many readers are anxiously awaiting my other picks, so here you go: Paul Thomas Anderson for Best Director and “Phantom Thread” for original score and costume design. For the contentious categories of sound mixing and sound editing, I’d have to go with “Blade Runner 2049” for the former and “The Shape of Water” for the latter. It’s a scientific process.
Gillian Allen, Features Editor
I grew up watching Joan Rivers praise and rip to shreds the many looks of the Academy Awards on the red carpet, so I am most looking forward to seeing what the stars’ wardrobes have to offer for 2018. From Lady Gaga’s giant red glove aesthetic circa 2016 to Emma Stone’s 20s flare in 2017, the red carpet never fails to captivate me and my artistic side. I’m most looking forward to what daring looks the celebrities will bring to the table this year as they glide through the paparazzi. Maybe even Stormi will make an appearance.
Harnoor Gill, Science Editor
Hi everyone! I just emerged from the deep, dark depths of a hole in the ground to find myself surrounded by talk of a strange and mysterious creature known as The Oscar. I wonder who The Oscar is and why everyone is expecting his arrival. Perhaps he is the grouchy, green monster from “Sesame Street.” Or maybe the delicious Oscar Mayer weiner. Personally, I hope it is the latter. I wonder if The Oscar has a family. Why these humanoids appear to be so fixated on him is quite a conundrum to me. I think all of this excitement also tires me. In the words of Soulcrate music, “embrace the mundane.” On that note, I have an urge to climb back down into my hole again.
Veronica Vargo, Sports Editor
First of all, what are the Oscars? I know, I know, shame on me. However, as the sports editor, I find the NBA All-Star weekend and the Winter Olympics to be of much higher importance than what movie was THE best. Isn’t it all really subjective anyway? If Person X thinks movie A was great and person Y doesn’t, who wins? All I really need to say is that Professional Bull Riding is on the up and up so Google Jess Lockwood, and I’m sure we’re all dying to know when senior forward Chima Moneke will be playing basketball at UC Davis and, more importantly, why he hasn’t been playing in the first place. The Oscars are cool and all, but man, have you heard about junior forward Morgan Bertsch? I think not. While you’re at it, look at The California Aggie Facebook page because they make the best films. Give them an Oscar.
Ally Overbay, Arts & Culture Editor
As the arts editor, I feel inclined to make a bold claim about 2017’s cinematic success stories. In reality, I’ll be fulfilling my mother’s tradition: tuning in to the red carpet at 5 p.m. and shutting the TV off by 7 p.m. There’s no better entertainment than E! News’ fashion police gawking over Jennifer Lawrence because the diamond earrings that cost more than my tuition don’t match the sequins on her dress. At least someone’s making bold statements.
Kaelyn Tuermer-Lee, City News Editor
I know the Oscars are a very exciting time for many people, but I personally do not watch them — rather, I hear about them from those of my friends who do take part in the heated debate over which movie will win Best Cinematography. That being said, I did manage to find some time to watch a few movies amid hours of studying plant life cycles and o-chem — shocking, I know! Of the movies I have seen, a few stood out: “The Post”; “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri”; “Baby Driver.” In addition, “The Greatest Showman” had wonderful music, particularly the original song “This is Me.” Although Hugh Jackman starred in “Les Misérables,” I knew him primarily from movies like “X-Men,” “The Wolverine” and “Logan,” so it was very cool to see him play this role in a movie that greatly differed from his others — and he did a really good job! 10/10 would recommend!
Taryn DeOilers, Opinion Editor
There are a few things I’m going to need to see at this Academy Awards. One, the Academy must go back in time and nominate “Twin Peaks: The Return” for Best Picture and Kyle MacLachlan for Lead Actor. No, the new series was not a film, but I (finally!) finished it literally an hour ago, and I wanted a graceful, totally on-topic way to invite readers to email me (at email@example.com) about the finale. Please.
Second, Sufjan Stevens must perform the entirety of his 25-minute masterpiece “Impossible Soul.” I know he got nominated for “Mystery of Love,” and that’s a beautiful song, but any performance that takes up less than an eighth of the whole ceremony will not cut it for me.
Third — and this is the most important, so listen carefully — I’m going to need “Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri” to win Best Picture. And then I’m going to need another “La La Land”/“Moonlight” moment, in which it’s revealed that “Three Billboards,” in actuality, got last place and every other movie nominated (and dozens of others that weren’t nominated) truly won that award. And then I need everyone to wake up out of this spell and realize that “Three Billboards” is sloppy, eye-roll-inducing, poorly-written, tone-deaf and possibly the most overrated film in the past few years (Frances McDormand and Sam Rockwell are chill, though). It’s a simple request, but one that’s necessary for my sanity. Thank you, and go Oscars!
Bryan Sykes, Editor-in-Chief
“Moovies… more like boo-vies…”
-Bryan Sykes, who has seen four movies in the past week, said.
Written by: The Editorial Board