Humor: The trials and tribulations of being a coffee shop in downtown Davis


A tale of alliances and betrayal

Coffee shops come and go. And while some people have personal attachments to certain cafes, the rest of the Davis population has come to accept the nature of the coffee shop industry in Davis. What does this mean? It means $7 for an espresso drink mixed with weird rules about [insert: bathroom, seating, Wi-Fi, studying or a combination of all of the above] and probably not enough space to seat half of the people who come to buy drinks. That’s just the way it works, I guess. But if that’s the case, then what determines how successful a coffee shop will be?

I guess the good thing about Davis is that it turns out there aren’t as many coffee shops as there probably should be, considering we are a college town filled with students whose hobbies include studying and surviving on caffeine. I think there’s a simple way to know if a coffee shop is going to survive. It includes a lot of different factors, and I’m probably not qualified to speak about any of them, but as someone who spends her $7 proudly every day, I will give it my best (espresso) shot.

Coffee shop survival has nothing to do with the quality of coffee you serve. At least, it doesn’t for me. It’s deeper than that, and much more personal. It has to do with ambiance and aesthetic. Some examples of this: How pretentious is the couple next to you and, more importantly, are they screaming about it in your ear? How long does it take for you to be asked to leave if you don’t order anything? Can you afford the artwork they are selling on the wall? Would you take your TA here? And, most importantly, can you see yourself developing a relationship with the barista?

While I can’t speak for everyone, these questions are important when considering where you want all your money to go until the next best thing comes along.



Written by: Rosie Schwarz —

(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)