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Davis, California

Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Humor: Unitrans L line out of service due to student’s fears of “Taking L’s”

Why take the L when you can take the W? 

The L line has finally dropped out of service after weeks of sudden fear-induced desolation. 

As the stressful and rather spooky season of midterms creeps up on us, students can often be seen confiding in bizarre superstitions to survive the ill-fated quarter. For many, this means refusing to take 13 units, avoiding walking under ladders, blowing a kiss every time Gunrock trots on by — you know, the usual. Since the beginning of the new Fall Quarter, however, students have begun avoiding the Unitrans L line like the plague in hopes of not “taking any Ls.” 

Third-year Unitrans driver Bill Sawyer says no one has stepped foot on his bus in weeks. The number of riders began decreasing more each day until there were none at all, according to Sawyer. “Even the turkeys won’t get on the bus. What do they even have to lose?” 

At this point during the interview, Sawyer promptly pulled out his phone to check his Google calendar and let out a gasp. “I forgot about Thanksgiving.” 

Sawyer has been driving for Unitrans for the past two years and says he has never encountered such a strange phenomenon. “Usually, as a driver, I worry about overcrowded buses and being late to each stop. Now, I’m always on time!” 

Since the perceived boycott, Unitrans has decided to remove the L line completely and consequently add more W buses with the tagline “take the W!” 

“I used to take the L line to get to campus, but now I just walk. It’s a four hour walk every day from my apartment, but it was definitely worth the B- I got on my midterm last week,” said chemical engineering student Xiaonan Chen. 

“My friend said I could be using those extra four hours to study. Then she got a D on her quiz,” Chen added, shrugging with a cheeky grin. “That’s all I have to say.” 

The L line, which once ran through Pole Line and Loyola Drive, no longer remains in service. The various bus stops have been removed entirely, with the expectation of boosting the GPAs of UC Davis students. 

As the saying goes, “I’m not superstitious… but I am a little stitious.” In other words — it’s better to be safe than sorry during these trying, grade-dropping times. 

Written by: Julietta Bisharyan — jsbisharyan@ucdavis.edu


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