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Thursday, April 18, 2024

Bachelor twitter is better than the actual show

The revolutionary new way to watch your favorite shows (I swear this isn’t satire)

“The Bachelor” is a show about marriage that in no way reflects the values of marriage. Now in its 24th season, the show consistently has over 5 million viewers per episode, with a peak of 6.5 million viewers. Bachelor contestants compete against 29 other women to form any scrap of connection they can with the one and only “bachelor” before they get booted off the show (until the “women tell all” episode). 

To this day, of the 23 prior seasons of the show, only one bachelor is married to the contestant who won his season — a 4.3% success rate. The show is a mess, but that’s why we all love it so much.

The top prize for the contestants is not to “win” the season and get engaged; the top prize is getting “Bachelor” fans to like you enough to become the next “Bachelorette.” That’s part of what makes Twitter and other social media platforms so valuable — they are indicators of who America roots for or tears down the most. 

Just a few weeks ago, the show’s usual two-hour time slot ballooned to two episodes, with five hours of content between them. This is ridiculous, but I (and millions of others) just went along with it and sacrificed all that time for this show. There should be a way for us to enjoy the “Bachelor” more time-efficiently  — and there is: Bachelor Twitter.

Bachelor Twitter is easy. It reduces the show to what you actually care about. The drama and suspense you love can be experienced on your small screen in a fraction of the time. Twitter moments, savvy culture consumers and all of your friends are in the same place to maximize your enjoyment of the show without even watching it. Of course, those of us who need both would say otherwise, but the standalone value of Bachelor Twitter cannot be denied.

Bachelor Twitter is full of all the great, overly dramatic moments without the obtuse fillers that the producers string in between. As well as cutting commentary that rivals that of your wittiest friends, Bachelor Twitter gives you post-live show commentary with wrap-ups and dissections from the brightest culture fiends among us. 

You can avoid all of the terrible lessons the show teaches you about human beings, like valuing physical attraction and drama over the important qualities — loyalty, honesty, maturity and employment — in genuine relationships. 

The best part of “The Bachelor” experience is what goes on outside of the show. It’s the podcasts, the reactions and the conversations we all have about our own speculations and theories. Rooting for our favorite contestants and debating why, say, Hannah Ann is better than every other contestant (because she stays out of the drama) is the best part. Engagement — as well as millions of viewers and money — is what Chris Harrison and ABC want.

Amid all of the dangerous, greedy and isolating aspects of social media, we cannot forget about the good that it does for so many of us. For those of us who watch our favorite shows or sports teams by ourselves each week, these platforms make us feel like we’re not alone. Scrolling through “#thebachelor” on Twitter can connect you and remind you that others think and feel exactly like you. 

Realizing that we’re all just trying to enjoy the same thing and aren’t actually as divided as we may believe is one of social media’s most powerful and encouraging attributes. Something as silly as “The Bachelor” gives us hope that we’re all in this human experience together and that we all have common interests even when our politics, backgrounds or beliefs differ. It’s unifying and it makes our personal devices a little less isolating. 

“The Bachelor” is by no means a good show, but the experience and culture it cultivates is second to none. It’s closer to a sporting event or the Olympics than it is your average television show. And that’s why a platform like Twitter lends itself so perfectly to the experience of “The Bachelor” — loyalty, competition and heartbreak are at the core, just like all great fandoms.

Open up some time for yourself and hop on Twitter at 10 p.m. on Mondays to catch up on the action — or don’t and experience the community live. Either way, Twitter makes “The Bachelor” infinitely better than it was before, and reminds us that we are not so far apart from one another. 

Written by: Calvin Coffee — cscoffee@ucdavis.edu 

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by individual columnists belong to the columnists alone and do not necessarily indicate the views and opinions held by The California Aggie

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