A PSA to UC Students from the Davis community
Three months ago, the UC community on Reddit was sent into a frenzy when a UC Berkeley student requested all UC schools not refer to their school using its initials, “UCB,” as it cheapens the incredible prestige associated with Berkeley.
As an incoming UC Davis student, I was already the brunt of bad cow jokes and warnings of the Tercero stench. If all my school is going to be associated with is cows, why does UCB get to control something so insignificant?
Fuming, I headed to UCB’s merch store to dismember UC Berkeley hoodies to say “UCB,” gnawing out the remaining letters with my teeth and seeking out UCB students to tell them I’ve never heard of their school.
Then, I had an epiphany. One person does not speak for the entire UCB community. My rampage against the entire school was misguided. This attitude is reminiscent of a larger problem: the inequality in education and problematic attitudes of elitism.
But when I got home and found out The Wall Street Journal ranked UC Davis third among the UC schools and fifth among public universities—exactly a spot behind UCB—I realized that protecting the prestige of your school is not insignificant at all.
With that, I’d like to write my own PSA to UC students from the Davis Community:
Recently, UC Davis and UC Berkeley have found themselves in close proximity in Wall Street Journal’s rankings, something many students are not aware of.
With this new knowledge, please do not refer to UC Davis as “UCD.” This is not the proper way to refer to UC Berkeley’s original University Farm.
As the UC system’s third-largest university and home to alumni such as “Patriot Act’s” Hasan Minhaj, we feel that it is important to honor our new rise in popularity. We feel that “UCD” not only cheapens our brand, but leads to confusion in reference due to “UCD” sharing the same initials as University College Dublin and University of Colorado Denver.
While it may be acceptable for other UC campuses to use initialisms due to their lack of up-and-coming status, that is not acceptable for a rising college such as UC Davis.
Despite our meteoric rise, however, UC Davis wants to maintain that we are still humble. Therefore, we will be providing similar PSA templates for any other UC campuses who may experience such a rise. Until then, it is requested you stay in your lane.
To the UC Davis students who are unaware, in an effort to show greater Aggie spirit, alternative naming suggestions include “UC Davis: Wall Street Journal’s Fifth Ranked Public School.” It is essential we publicize our rankings as the Wall Street Journal has a paywall and thus limits the audience we can brag to about our new rankings. How will your judgemental extended family and high school classmates know that you attend a top-ranking institution such as UC Davis if you don’t publicize it? Failure to do so is essentially an Aggie hate crime.
To the original Reddit poster, I’d like to offer an olive branch. It isn’t easy being at the top, but us top-rankers have got to stick together!
Written by: Renee Wang — email@example.com
(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)