I find myself resonating with Squidward more and more each day
Lent is honestly such a great time of the year. I have always loved the season of giving up.
Growing up Catholic, I’ve always participated in Lenten sacrifices. My sacrifices in the past have been very interesting. I’ve given up a lot of things such as refraining from eating my mom’s pulled pork, playing the Sims 24 times a day and wasting my money buying an eight-dollar iced coffee every single day.
If you look at it, I’ve actually given up a decent amount of things. But this year I want to go all out and do something much bigger than anything before. What better way to do that than to simply give up?
It’s definitely not just me, because everyone can agree that last year has got to be one of the hardest years in the history of human existence. Life is so overwhelming and the fact that we still have to study and pass classes through it is super hard sometimes! I think I’ve just become as numb as Squidward because I find myself resonating with him more and more each day. My voice has even started to sound so much like his.
Anywho, simply giving up for Lent is really easy. If you would like to give up for Lent like me, here are easy steps on how to do just that:
- Reduce all forms of human interaction
Save your energy for yourself, people who matter and your pet fish. Save your saliva for your COVID-19 spit test, not for talking to other people.
- Stop studying, just start submitting
Why prepare for things when you can just submit them? That’s honestly what real self-confidence is.
- Indulge in a daily scream
Just let it all out. My fave places to scream on campus are the Hutchison parking lot, the Arboretum and Dairy Road where all the cows are.
- Listen to SZA and Kali Uchis
This is the energy you need to manifest into your system. Being nonchalant has never been easier for this generation.
To all of you venturing into a similar endeavor, good luck. As a trial user of this Lenten sacrifice for the past week, I would recommend it—10 out of 10.
Written by: Macy Lee — firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and or names of “sources” are fictionalized.)