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Saturday, September 25, 2021

With the possibility of in-person classes in the fall, students cower in fear over the thought of having to socialize with others again

Other students in my university? It’s more likely than you think

With the university planning to have in-person classes in the fall, students have been dreading the fact that they’ll once again be forced into all the horrifying social situations that come with student life. 

COVID-19 has changed things, but there are some small blessings to be found. For example, most of us haven’t had to share a bathroom with a stranger or accidentally make eye contact with someone across the room for months. And now, out of practice and unwilling, students will be forced to do things for each other like give the time of day, keep doors open and not crash into each other on the bike path. Such sacrifices seem daunting, but we at The Aggie believe UC Davis students can take on anything… as long as they get to complain afterwards.

“Y’know that thing where you are trying to pass by someone in the hallway, but you both end up getting in each others’ way. And then you try to pass, but you both step to the same side and then share a nervous laugh when you finally stop and pass each other. Yeah, I’d rather die than have to do that again,” one student said.

“I find it totally unreasonable that the university expects me to wear pants to class now. Not cool dudes,” another student said. 

It’s unfortunate, but until we finally end up overthrowing the government and restructuring the American education system from the ground up—so we’ll never be forced into a group project again—having to interact with other students is simply part of your education. 

So next time someone accidentally bumps into you or sneezes one too many times during class, make sure to take a moment before chucking them into the Arboretum and remember that they’re a student just like you. They’re just another lost soul doing their best to find their way in this chaotic circus ring that is our sad reality. Compassion and empathy must be abundant if we want any chance at making it in life, so forgive all those that chew loudly, sneeze or ask off-topic questions in lecture. Because without them, what is the “college experience” but you just going to different buildings where you sit and play on your phone for an hour?

Written by: Ian Cosner — iacosner@ucdavis.edu 
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and or names of “sources” are fictionalized.)

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