We take you inside the explosive battle on Capitol Hill
Much of the news coverage out of Capitol Hill remains largely focused on the battle over COVID-19 relief checks, the minimum wage and the confirmation of Neera Tanden. All three are equally important battles that will affect the lives of citizens on a day-to-day basis. However, another imminent battle looms over the chambers of Congress. No, not a literal one, just one that nobody really cares about.
Daylight savings time usually begins mid-March, but this year it’s a little different. The U.S. has faced a mounting debt of daylight, and according to policy experts, the country is in danger of defaulting on it’s daylight debt, plunging the nation into the darkness.
House Democrats have put forth a proposal that would raise the daylight savings rate from one hour to one hour and 37 minutes, citing the fact that since the beginnings of daylight savings time it has never been raised from one hour. They have also called on states like Arizona and Hawaii to stop freeloading off federal daylight.
This proposal has already faced steep opposition from the GOP, as they advocate for sunshine austerity measures rather than taking more sunlight from the days of American citizens. They propose that we should just make daylight cuts when daylight savings time ends every November. Although it should be noted that they too agree that Arizona and Hawaii should stop freeloading off of federal daylight. So much for unity?
It should be noted that this is not a real issue. However, if Congress would like to stall any important bills that should come their way, and they feel like squabbling over means testing and forcing the entire bill to be read out loud is too cliche, they can feel free to use this as some irrelevant culture war issue to do so.
Written by: Ean Kimura — firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and or names of “sources” are fictionalized.)