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Wednesday, October 27, 2021

Liz Cheney takes a stand for family values

Well, her family values

Congresswoman Liz Cheney, R-Wyo., has been removed from her GOP leadership position in the House of Representatives, ostensibly due to her recent positioning against former President Donald Trump. This proves again that Trumpism is fleeting and at the whim of the political wedge named Trump that has made all mainstream political ideologies incoherent. Despite this setback, Cheney plans to restore the Republican party to its former glory the only way she knows how: her family values. 

Cheney has already positioned herself as a vocal critic of the Biden administration’s plan for unconditional withdrawal of troops from Afghanistan by Sept. 11, 2021. Even with the recent loss of her position, she plans to continue pushing back against this plan. “It is my duty to stand up for my family’s tradition. My father started this war, and I want to make sure my grandchildren can live in a world where this war has no end in sight. It is my duty to keep American defense contractors, I mean people, safe,” Cheney said.

Cheney has also made a commitment to the Constitution. In the speech she made before the vote to strip her of her leadership position, Cheney declared that Trump supporters were “at war with the Constitution.” Some critics have pointed out that she has defended torture programs that were notorious under her father’s pseudo-presidency. That’s not true. She supports enhanced interrogation, which is definitely not an Orwellian way of calling torture something else. Enhanced interrogation is simply interrogation enhanced with torture.

Cheney wants to use her family values to restore the GOP as the party of truth. The congresswoman is not alone in the GOP for wanting to see truth become a value of the party. With her are notable figures such as former President George W. Bush. Cheney wants to bring us back to those days. The days when Republican presidents (and vice presidents) lied us into small stuff like a war that caused thousands of Iraqi civilian and American deaths and cost the taxpayers trillions. Cheney herself has a stellar record of truth.

Media pundits from across the political spectrum have knelt at the altar of Cheney. Even Democratic politicians such as Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer attempted to rhetorically canonize her in the gospel of American politics, comparing her to Saint Thomas More, a martyr for religious freedom who was literally decapitated. As they should. Cheney is not just a cynical politician with an angle; she is fighting for her family values—they just happen to align perfectly

Written by: Ean Kimura — etkimura@ucdavis.edu

Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and/or names of “sources” are fictionalized.)

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