Seriously, get a garage
By ALLISON KELEHER — firstname.lastname@example.org
If you are a resident of North Davis, or have ever lived in North Davis, you have experienced the stifling sexual tension between two Unitrans bus lines, the G and the J. For a little background, the G bus transports multitudes of students to the UCD MU bus stop, while the J bus does the same for the UCD Silo bus stop. The MU and the Silo have a longstanding rivalry as hubs for UC Davis students and staff, so the relationship between the G and the J would never be approved of. These star-crossed lovers leave their bus stops every day, at every hour, and meet up on their routes. Since they can’t interact with each other, the G and the J play a flirtatious game of cat and mouse on their routes.
More often than not, the G arrives at the bus stop outside of Chautauqua apartments a little early, but the J is not far behind. Depending on the speed of its passengers’ boarding and disembarking, sometimes the J will pass the G. That is, until the next stop when the J is held up and the G takes the lead. According to my reliable source, “they’re flirting with their traffic patterns — it’s actually disgusting.” Usually, in the end, the G is victorious and is in the lead in front of the J. Another source claims that, “the G only wins their little game because the J is more popular.” However, the reliability of this source is uncertain, since they’re garage roomies with the J bus.
Eventually they’re both back onto Anderson Road, headed towards campus where they split up at Russell Boulevard and return to their bus families. As they bid each other farewell, the G and J rest easy knowing that they’ll see each other in an hour.
This modern day rendition of Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet” is lived every day and every hour by the G and the J Unitrans bus lines. Hopefully they don’t kill themselves too — I need to get to class.
But, let’s get real. These buses need to own up to their little situationship and put North Davis residents out of their misery. It’s revolting to be awake at 8 a.m. and witness this intense flirting when I’m just trying to get to class. I feel like Unitrans should put them into a garage at night and they can work it out.
Written by: Allison Keleher — email@example.com
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)