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Friday, April 19, 2024

Where the UCD Majors would take you on a date

Hubba Hubba

 

By CARMEL RAVIV — craviv@ucdavis.edu

 

Davis is often compared to Paris, mainly for how they share being the “City of Love.” Admit it, you can’t help being swept up in the romance of Davis, California and all of the eligible bachelors/bachelorettes. Even the cows are procreating for Tercero residents to see! (I saw a cow give birth on the way to the gym.) But if there is a specific love story you’re going for, I have outlined where the different UC Davis majors are likely to take you on a first date to begin your romantic journeys. 

 

Biological Sciences: A Bio Sci major will propose a study date — they may think you’re cute but their O-Chem grade is not. 

Sociology: They’ll take you to the vintage fair while you look at 40-dollar gem-stone earrings and talk about their relationship with their mom. 

Avian Science: Bird watching, duh.

Computer Science: A Target run so you can show them how to buy body wash.

Mechanical Engineering: Why don’t we go bowling at the Memorial Union Games Area? It would just optimize our free time in our day-to-day schedules by staying on campus. Plus, it’s not that expensive. I heard they have Jenga too haha. Also, I 3-D printed you an octopus.

Wildlife, Fish and Conservation Biology: Sushi!!! :333

NPB: An Arboretum walk. It’s their comfort place and where they have mental breakdowns about going to Med School.

Managerial Economics: They’ll invite you over to watch a movie on their bed. (You met on Tinder, what did you expect?)

Geology: These exist?

Animal Science: Petting zoo. Remember, the heavy petting is only for the animals.

Clinical Nutrition: Just a normal restaurant. They will be heavily judging as you decide between a salad and fries.

Medieval and Early Modern Studies: Renaissance Fair! Whether or not it’s a red flag will be decided by how good they are at dueling with a foam sword. 

Global Disease Biology: Challenge yourselves in a themed escape room where you work together to solve puzzles to prevent a fictional outbreak. The twist? It’s just a room locked from the outside! There’s no escape!

Undeclared: “I don’t know. What do you want to do? I’m down for anything. As long as I don’t have to make a decision.”

 

Written by: Carmel Raviv — craviv@ucdavis.edu

 

Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)

 

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