Humor

Which came first, the oat or the milk?   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   Early one morning, dawn broke over the UC Davis Tercero dorms. At about the same time, Jonathan heard the shrieking cry of his iPhone alarm from his bedside table. When he attempted to turn off the alarm, he missed, making […]

They might be late and semi-anonymous, but at least they’re sorry!   By MADISON SEEMAN — meseeman@ucdavis.edu   Your friends are sorry. From not commenting on your most recent Instagram post to making excessive “Breaking Bad” references, they know they’ve messed up. There are a number of little crimes we commit in friendships — little […]

Watch out, ladies   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   In a not-so-far-away land, dubbed the “Pad,” there slept many Unitrans buses through the night. Not a single bus was stirring, not even the Z line (he’s a heavy sleeper). You see, these buses need their sleep because their days start bright and early. To […]

Riddle me this, Troll   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   There’s a new trend developing on the UC Davis campus, and clearly, I need to know about it. Couples are flocking to the Arboretum in droves, with the hopes of strengthening their relationships. Some may think they are participating in the “love lock” tradition, […]

The world is your oyster   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   There has been some serious chatter going around the UC Davis campus about something called imposter syndrome — everyone claims to have it.  Now, here’s my thinking: If everyone has it, then no one has it. Or, maybe, if everyone in the world […]

Students demand action as egg prices continue to rise   By VIOLET ZANZOT— vmzanzot@ucdavis.edu   This question, I am sure, is on everyone’s minds: What are we to do about the cost of eggs? It’s no secret that egg prices are on the rise and have yet to hit a breaking point. When eggs cost […]

Can someone translate their quacks for me?   By ALLISON KELEHER — adkeleher@ucdavis.edu   The ducks are out and about on the UC Davis campus, and you best believe I have noticed. Those little guys can’t hide from me. I love seeing them walk around on the Mrak Hall lawn whenever I head to the […]

Questioning continues as local law enforcement attempts to uncover the identity of the real Anthony Padilla   By TARA ROMERO — tcrome@ucdavis.edu   Ever since the October 2024 Timothée Chalamet look-alike contest took the Internet by storm, hundreds of celebrity look-alike contests have popped up all over the country. A bit late to the trend […]

They are just so ugly and unlucky   By SABRINA FIGUEROA — sfigueroaavila@ucdavis.edu   It was a beautiful morning. The sun was glistening and rays beamed through the tree leaves, making odd-shaped shadows on the sidewalk. I was walking to Trader Joe’s, listening to “Unwritten” by Natasha Bedingfield in my headphones and humming along. I […]

Will Sisyphus succeed in ending his story?   By ABHINAYA KASAGANI— akasagani@ucdavis.edu   Sisyphus is having trouble conceiving an ending for his latest story, unable to shirk the feeling that his current draft leaves something to be desired.  As a man once condemned to roll a boulder up a mountain for the rest of eternity, […]

A reflection of Gunrock’s time at UC Davis   By ELLIE NOH — eenoh@ucdavis.edu   After much debate among students on who the real mascot of UC Davis is, it seems as though Gunrock has lost this battle. Gunrock, the beloved mascot, has officially decided to retire. As many students mourn his loss, it is […]

An eavesdropper’s guide to philosophical banter   By NEVAEH KARRAKER— nakarraker@ucdavis.edu   I’m a very nosy person, and the amount of gossip I’ve overheard simply because of unconcerned, noisy people is practically absurd — especially at coffee shops.  Today, I chose Mishka’s, a café enclosed by cinnabar red walls, filled with warm lights and the […]