Opinion

The day you've been waiting for all year is almost here. That's right kids, tomorrow is Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry's! Rejoice!

I happen to think that Free Cone Day is one of those rare events of harmonious perfection that occasionally take place in the universe. Unlimited amounts of free ice cream: What more could anyone want?

There are, however, some lame, snarky people who find fault with Free Cone Day. These people complain that the line is too long. Oh no, life is so hard that you have to wait a few minutes to get some free ice cream.

I feel so utterly isolated sometimes.It's not because I live far from campus out in the fields; nor is it due to my apathy when it comes to engaging in conversations involving the words "bro" or "chill." My loneliness is not a side effect of anti-sociality - on the contrary,I am quite the shit-shooter,if I do say so myself.The reason for my isolation is due to my lack of a "machine" that has become the sole interest of seemingly every human being on earth - the television.

The sad thing is that I really used to like Ben Stein. I grew up watching him banter with Jimmy Kimmel while defending his cash from all comers, and I was invariably impressed with the breadth of his knowledge. Thus, when I heard about his new flickExpelled: No Intelligence Allowed, I felt a bit betrayed.

Since I'm going to go ahead and assume anyone sage enough to read my column has more sense than to toss $10 at this monumental waste of film, I'll explain the basic premise. In a lot of ways, Expelled is a lot like An Inconvenient Truth with some of the nouns changed Mad Libs style. The movie (Truth / Expelled) is a documentary about (global warming / Intelligent Design) narrated by (an incredibly dry and humorless man / essentially the same dude) and backed up with (a pretty sobering array of science / more or less

Davis residents have a desire to preserve the open-space and agricultural areas of their community; it was this thinking that led to the passage of Measure J in2000.Measure J requires voter approval for any proposed urban developmenton open-space or agricultural land and is currently on track to expire in2010.Whether the measure will be renewed or not will be determined by theDavisCity Council.

Because of this,the upcomingCity Councilelection is attracting a great deal of attention fromDavis locals who want candidates to make their positions on Measure J clear.The six CityCouncil hopefuls have thus far avoided doing so at City Council meetings.

The Sodexho food-service worker controversy hasbeen present on the campus foryears.Those in favor of UC Davis employing food service workers argued that workers deserved health care and improved benefits and that the university was underhanded in contracting out their employment.Those in favor of the status quo argued that a minority of workers were dissatisfied andthatthe cost of employing workers was prohibitive.Both sides had valid points,and it would have been easy for the campusofficials to declare a stalemate.However,the UCD administration took this issue seriously and embarked on a lengthy study of its options to address the problem.

Throughout the process, UC Davis officials have been guided by twoworthyprinciples:making decisions based on factual research,and improving the situation to both student and worker satisfaction.While not everyone may becompletelysatisfied by the outcome,the compromisingsolution the university has reached ishighlysensible and ethical.Food-service workers will become university employees while Sodexho will continue to manage operations.

o apparently there's a food crisis. The increased prices of staple foods such as corn (up 49 percent globally over 12 months), rice (up 75 percent) and wheat (up 130 percent)are wreaking havoc across the globe.

But, being a rich American capable of offsetting those increases, they don't scare me. What does scare me is the global system of food production which underlies them.

The fact that this issue is being framed as a "food" crisis indicates the depth of the cultural problem we face: Biblical Dominionism. Dominionism is rarely invoked outright, but our culture's resource gathering methods are rooted deep in that whole "subdue the earth," "be fruitful and multiply" thing. What comes out of this is the notion that man and the environment are at odds with one another, and that the environment stifles human progress

In the Apr.22 edition of The California Aggie,the editorial titled "4/20at UCSC" stated that "While the university has outwardly condoned the event,they do not deny its existence." The correct statement should have read, "While the university does not condone the event,they do not deny its existence." The Aggie regrets the error.

Triumphing inPennsylvania,a state oftenassociatedwith the birth of many American narratives,SenatorHillaryClinton proclaimed that "the tide is turning." Shemight haveenvisioned the aptness of her candidacy's rebirth.But it wasn't a rebirth.It was the prolonging ofafutile process,the Democrats' proportionate delegatesystemrendering her catching-upin the pledged delegate count impossible.

Yet by choosing to continue,she is damaging her fellow Democrat's reputation and amplifying her own negatives,allwhile increasing Senator John McCain'selectoral chances.Should these factorsultimatelycoalesce toelect McCain to office,liberalism would have lost a monumental opportunity to redefineand reassertitself.

Butfirstlet's examine liberalism's fall from grace.

Liberalism's downturn,in many ways,is testament to the Republican Party's political acumen and their messages' coherence.Through superior organization and unrelenting discipline,a Republican nominee has occupied the White House for all but12out of the last40years.Thisstatisticisn't trivial.It demonstrates the Republican's uncannyability to win elections.

Above the desk in my room is a very large picture,"Among the Sierra Nevada Mountains," painted by Albert Bierstadt in1868.Bierstadt is perhaps my favorite artist,known for his treatment of the mountainous landscapes of the American West.Sunlight streaming through the clouds often takes center stage in his paintings,which always seemed to me a credible depiction of God coming down to earth.The beauty of Bierstadt's nature can almost put me in a trance.

"Wait a minute,Rob," you might interrupt. "Shouldn't you have a painting of oil wells surrounded by dead Iraqi children over your desk,or maybe a rich man tap dancing on the backs of the poor with an IRS refund in one hand and a bag of money in the other? It can't be anything natural.We all know conservatives hate nature."

"Don't let your body be your master," the priest says to the young man. "You must be the master of your body."

I can't remember where I had heard this before. It was either in a book I read awhile back or on a random TV show. But whatever the case may be, this is an idea that just keeps coming back to me, kind of like that stray dog you petted that one time and so it decided to follow you around the rest of the day.

This idea created a lot of discomfort for me because of the dialectic going on in my head. Who is this "you" as opposed to your body? Considering the circumstances, there seems to be an implied metaphysical claim about the nature of human beings. But at the very least, this separation of "you" and your body seems plausible. However the mind-body problem is not something I want to discuss here. Rather, I bring all of this up to discuss the next question on my mind. What does it mean to be the master of your body?

A confession:I'm awful at coming up with column ideas last-minute.After spending a lovely weekend that included an artificial horse insemination and a nighttime picnic at the park,I found myself utterly screwed for the upcoming week.Rather unfortunate,since all my major papers and midterms seem to fall on this week.

Anyways,since I seem to be failing at life,I decided that I might as well go ahead andpop out a seriesof confessions,mostly because I can't come up with a better idea (sorry). Also,I find it comforting to hear about how people fail more than I do,soI might as well provide that same comfort to all of you.

This past Sunday was Apr. 20, a day commonly known by many as a cannabis culture holiday. Over the years, Santa Cruz has become a popular destination for many people looking to celebrate "4/20." Last year, over 5,000 people arrived at UC Santa Cruz to smoke marijuana on campus at Porter Meadow.

In anticipation of the event, UCSC officials increased security this year. The campus restricted the number of outsiders and non-UCSC students from entering campus. Other security measures included requiring all vehicles entering campus to have a university parking permit for the weekend, requiring UCSC identification to gain entrance and not allowing overnight guests for students living on campus.

Sacramento is not generally regarded as a sustainable region - it has grown in a sprawling pattern much like Los Angeles. However, Sacramento's integration of more sustainable regional planning and small-scale improvements slowly reverses its previous reputation.

The city was chosen from a 30-applicant pool as a "solar city" for its development of solar energy policies and received a $200,000 grant from the U.S. Department of Energy to use toward putting photovoltaic systems on buildings. Solar parking meters can already be found in some areas of inner Sacramento, but this additional funding helps color Sacramento's reputation a deeper shade of green.

here are two ways a relationship can begin: attraction first, followed by some sort of relationship, or friendship first, followed by some sort of attraction.

(Of course, there is a rare third way, wherein the guy kidnaps and holds you hostage at gunpoint for a month. As an unconscious survival tactic, you end up falling in love, get married, have two beautiful daughters and escape the law together for many years to come. Oh dad, thank you so much - if it weren't for your gambling addiction that forced you to hold mom ransom, our family would have never been created!)

The 17th century political revolutionary Guy Fawkes once said, "The desperate disease requires a dangerous remedy." Despite the fact that British historians may tell you that another notable quote from Guy Fawkes would be, "Hey, let's blow up Parliament," I believe his wisdom regarding desperate situations should not be overlooked.

Even today, in 21st century Davis, we can see how desperate situations force people to make rash and, at many times, foolish decisions. Perhaps the best example of this process can currently be seen within our own Davis Joint Unified School District. For anyone who has read my past columns, the desperate situation facing the DJUSD is clear -$4 million in cuts to next year's budget. In past weeks, this seemingly bleak situation has forced the district's school board to penny-pinch, and choose between several options that will each prove detrimental to the district's overall performance.