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Breakaway from Cancer bike ride seizes Russell

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Off-campus students leaving their homes next Sunday may run into the fundraising Breakaway from Cancer bike ride that will begin on a temporarily closed-off Russell Boulevard at 7:30 a.m. April 25.

Organized by the Amgen-founded Breakaway from Cancer initiative, the ride aims to raise awareness about the resources available to those afflicted with cancer. The Breakaway ride consists of the Stage-2 route of the Amgen Tour of California, a 114-mile cycling trek that begins on Davis’ Russell Boulevard and concludes in Santa Rosa. Anyone who pays the entry fee can participate.

“[It’s] an opportunity for amateurs to ride the route the professionals will ride in the Amgen Tour of California and to raise funds for our Breakaway from Cancer initiative,” said Kristin Davis, Amgen spokesperson.

The ride caters to all skill levels as seen in the three different course lengths: the whole 114-miles, 50 miles or 22 miles. Though it is not an actual race, there will be timed segments, such as uphill climbs on which competitive riders can display their mettle. Event organizers capped the maximum number of participants at 3,500 bikers.

Undeclared first-year Mikaela DeRousseau, a member of the UC Davis triathlon team, supports the concept behind the Breakaway Ride.

“I think it’s cool that normal people who aren’t necessarily competitive can try a part of the larger course,” she said.

May 17’s Amgen Tour of California, the largest biking competition in the United States, is broken up into eight stages that span a total of 800 miles across California.

“It’s like the Tour de France,” said Amgen Tour vice president of communications Michael Ross, of the nature of the race. “We have 16 teams and all the teams [must be] invited. They’re the world’s best professional teams.”

Professional cyclist George Hincapie will partake in the April 25 race and make a series of introductory remarks at the ride’s outset. According to a press release, Hincapie joined Breakaway from Cancer when the Amgen founded the component in 2005 because of the role cancer has played in the lives of his family members.

Breakaway from Cancer plans to raise funds primarily through voluntary donations. An undisclosed portion of the entry fees for the race, however, will go toward the initiative’s nonprofit partners like the Prevent Cancer Foundation and the Cancer Support Community.

When the race concludes in Santa Rosa, riders and others will have the opportunity to attend a fair where the cancer-related nonprofits set up booths to distribute information pertinent to both cancer patients and those simply interested in learning more about the disease.

Amgen Inc, the biotechnology company behind the event, has had a history of research and development with regard to cancer.

“We discover, develop and deliver products for people battling serious illnesses, and one of those is cancer,” Davis said.

The Breakaway Ride, Davis said, does not exist to promote Amgen’s products. The event focuses on helping the affiliated nonprofits raise funds rather than advertising the drugs Amgen has developed to combat cancer.

YARA ELMJOUIE can be reached at city@theaggie.org.

Students fly to Florida to protest ‘modern-day slavery’

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This weekend, five UC Davis students are choosing protesting over Picnic Day.

Beginning today and concluding on Sunday, five UC Davis students will participate in the Farmworker Freedom March, a 22-mile march from Tampa to Lakeland, Fla. in protest against poor working conditions for farm laborers.

The march is one of a series of protests by the Coalition of Immokalee Workers (CIW), who lead the Campaign for Fair Food, an effort to abolish what they call “modern-day slavery.”

The three-day march targets Publix, Florida’s largest supermarket chain which protestors believe has failed to adopt the principles for the Campaign for Fair Food. The principles include raising the wages of farm workers, giving farm workers a voice, and enforcing consequences if Publix fails to comply.

Primarily supported by fundraising, the Students for Sustainable Agriculture asked ASUCD for $580 to make up for the remaining costs of airfare. Senate Bill 53, a bill addressing their request for $580 was passed by ASUCD Senate but vetoed by ASUCD President Jack Zwald.

“In passing this bill, the association is setting a precedent that I do not find acceptable,” Zwald wrote in an announcement of his veto. “Because of the association’s responsibility to remain viewpoint neutral in these types of situations, if someone with a similar event came to us and submitted a bill that was fiscally sound and legal, we would be obligated to give this group the money even if ASUCD disagreed with its goal, motive or viewpoint.”

The bill stirred-up dialogue on campus over the allocation of ASUCD funds for such an event at last week’s senate meeting, when the bill was introduced as an urgent piece of legislation.

“It’s important to know this isn’t a vacation to Florida, the students are serious,” said Abhram Castillo-Ruiz, co-author of the bill. “As an agricultural school, this protest requires the attention of UC Davis.”

The CIW is currently deliberating with on-campus food service corporation Sodexo, and several other food service providers to farm workers $0.01 per pound of tomatoes.

Sodexo committed to pay farm workers the additional cent and to purchase only from producers who meet the code of conduct. The penny per pound campaign has not yet been implemented by Sodexo, who is waiting for CIW to determine the easiest method of payment.

“It’s important that all five of us be there [Florida] to share our information with UCD when we return,” said Liz Fitzgerald, team leader of Village Harvest Davis. “Tabling only does so much. People need to connect with others and see the workers to understand.”

GABRIELLE GROW can be reached at campus@theaggie.org.

Column: Unfounded Pulitzer

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Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker won a Pulitzer this week. My response? Complete and utter confusion. I understand that awards for journalism shouldn’t necessarily follow partisan lines, but does this mean we should give them to racist misogynists?

Parker’s past criticisms of Sarah Palin as a public official and her calls for the “empowerment” for women seem like ideals I can get behind. But her feminist-leaning opinions smell more like red herrings than a progressive I could respect. The Pulitzer committee’s choice has created that distinct sound that comes from scraping at the bottom of the barrel.

Parker had a problem back in 2001, when experts tried to recreate what Jesus would actually have looked like. In her column on the topic, she wrote that disproving Baby Jesus’ baby blues “has ruined a million stained-glass windows around the globe and left Christians of all races to worship someone they’ve never seen before.”

Did those scientists mean to say that Jesus didn’t actually look like the All-American Wonderbread we all thought he did? How can Christians worship the Son of God if he doesn’t resemble a cross between a kindly Christian Bale and a golden retriever? Oh noes!11!!1!

This image, Parker wrote, that changed from Aryan Jesus to one based on the skull of a 2,000 year-old Israeli-Palestinian Jew with darker skin and curlier hair “looks like the kind of guy who wouldn’t make it through airport security.”

Racist enough for you? There’s this, too: “Given the tendency of academic research to steer conclusions away from anything that might be construed as Aryan … it’s easy to imagine that Biblical revisionists won’t be satisfied until they discover that Jesus … actually went to the temple to lobby for women’s rights.”

While it may or may not be a problem that blatant Aryanism has fallen out of favor lately, I think Parker’s consternation at a pro-woman Jesus is pretty hilarious. Jesus, the guy who didn’t want women to be stoned to death for extramarital sex, a pro-woman messiah? Don’t make me laugh.

Parker’s opinions on women’s rights become clearer based on another column, in which she discusses the “difficulties servicewomen face in a testosterone-infused military.” Because of the inherent nature of men, Parker argues, women should expect sexual assault if they’re going to do something as foolish as enlisting in the military. As if testosterone was the reason that people rape other people.

Writes an incredulous Parker in 2007’s “The Fog of Rape,” “The Salon story reports, for example, that one woman was ‘coerced into sex’ by a commanding officer, which the Salon writer asserts is ‘legally defined as rape by the military.'”

I guess “coercion into sex” doesn’t count as rape in Parker’s book, but Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Parker is wrong. Rape is not “foggy.” It is the situation wherein one person forces sexual acts on another person. There is no grey-area, there is no in-between. That Parker thinks that a male member of the American military is so easily manipulated by his own hormones that he can’t tell when he’s sexually assaulting someone is terrifying to contemplate.

“Doubtless, many women [in the military] have suffered what they report,” Parker writes. But she also goes on to say, “Doubtless, too, some women exaggerate sexual-assault stories.”

This is then reason enough to mistrust every woman who comes forward with allegations of rape? Parker’s reasoning behind the issue of military rape – which, by the way, doesn’t do anything to explain the rape that happens anywhere else – is that it is caused by “resentment” of military men “because they’ve been forced to pretend that women are equals, and men know they’re not.”

The “lie” of gendered equality (and notice there is nothing here specifically about the average physical and physiological differences between male and female bodies; rather, Parker condemns as false the idea of equality in general) “breeds contempt, which leads to a simmering rage that sometimes finds expression in aggression toward those deemed responsible.”

Even if this inequality were in fact true, Parker puts it across as a somehow defensible explanation for sexual assault. The proposition that all of the victim-rights advocates and sexual assault seminars in the world won’t stop a testosterone-enraged soldier (trained and armed by our own United States government) from raping a woman because of resentment not only plays its part in justifying rape, but also denigrates those military men who are not rapists – no matter how pissy they get about who they have to work with.

As I said before, the mystery of Parker’s schtick – or perhaps its careful calculation – can be misleading at first. Whereas some of her columns praise the empowerment of women, such as Afghani policewoman Shafiqa Quraishi, who was awarded an International Women of Courage Award from Hillary Clinton this year, it remains that others fall back on victim-blaming and xenophobia.

Racism and misogyny are neither new nor rare, but are we really rewarding people for including them in their “insights?”

HALEY DAVIS can be reached at hrdavis@ucdavis.edu.

Women’s golf preview

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Event: Big West Conference Championships

Where: San Luis Obispo Country Club – San Luis Obispo, Calif.

When: Sunday to Tuesday, all day

Who to watch: Junior Chelsea Stelzmiller is primed to have a strong effort at the Big West Conference Championships.

The Placerville, Calif. native led the Aggies at the last two conference championships, finishing tied for first as a freshman in 2008 and tied for second last year.

Did you know? Freshman Amy Simanton was named Big West Conference Golfer for the month of March. She had two top-five finishes during that month and is averaging just 75.3 strokes-per-round on the season.

Preview: UC Davis will be looking to take home their first Big West title as they head down to San Luis Obispo this weekend.

The Aggies have finished second at the last two conference tournaments, dropping last year’s tournament to Long Beach State by a single stroke.

They will be looking to avenge those defeats this year.

“It certainly stands as motivation for us,” said coach Anne Walker.

More importantly though, the Aggies are taking a lesson from last year’s tournament in which UC Irvine looked to be the clear favorite but failed to finish first.

“It’s a good reminder to us that anything can happen,” Walker said. “We need to prepare 100% and concentrate on ourselves.”

This year UC Davis enters as the favorite.

They have been ranked in the top-25 for much of the year, and are currently No. 33 – a full 12 spots ahead of their closest competitor, No. 45 UC Irvine.

To them the numbers aren’t important.

“We don’t think about being the favorites,” Walker said. “We just need to stay focused and make sure we play to the best of our abilities.”

One thing that has made the Aggies so successful this season has been their depth.

UC Davis features eight golfers who average better than 78 strokes per-round, and coach Walker had a difficult decision in choosing the five golfers she wanted to have compete San Luis Obispo.

The lineup she chose features a combination of experience and inexperience. Upperclassmen Alice Kim, Chelsea Stelzmiller, and Kimberly Johnson will compete alongside Simanton and Demi Runas. Between them they have nine top-five finishes this year.

Next week they might just be able to add a Big West title to that resume.

– Trevor Cramer

Aggies start slow but finish strong

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The last event before a championship is always important to build momentum.

Heading to the U.S. Intercollegiate in Stanford, Calif. the Aggies were hoping to set the tone for the upcoming Big West Conference Championships.

They did not get off to the start they were looking for.

UC Davis began the tournament with a first round score of 33-over, placing them 19th in a field of 20 teams. The coaches took responsibility for the rough opening.

“We got off to a bad start,” said coach Cy Williams. “Our coaches weren’t clear enough on what the best strategy was on certain holes and it hurt us.”

It didn’t help that the team was forced to deal with some tough course conditions.

“We had to deal with some heavy winds,” Williams said, “and the greens played really fast. It’s harder to make things up in rough conditions because it means more pressure.”

The Aggies were resilient however, and they were able to bounce back in the final two rounds, shooting scores of 7-over and 6-over respectively. Overall, they finished tied for 16th at 48-over.

“We came back with two solid rounds,” Williams said. “It was close to where we need to be.”

Junior Austin Graham had an especially impressive turn-around, going from a first-round 7-over to scores of 2-under and even-par in his final two rounds. The San Clemente, Calif. local led the Aggies by finishing tied for 31st – 13 strokes behind winner Daniel Miernicki of Oregon. Despite the improvement, UC Davis does not believe he reached his full potential.

“He putted really well,” Williams said, “but he feels that he could have hit the ball better. He could easily have gotten to 4 or 5-under those final two rounds. He was very close to having a huge tournament.”

Graham’s teammate, senior Brent Booth also had a strong turnaround. Booth shot 10-over in his first round, but rebounded to finish with a final score of 12-over, good for a 64th place tie.

Sophomore Tyler Raber also had a strong final two rounds and was able to finish tied for 57th.

The Aggies feel that playing a tough field in this tournament will help them be ready for the Big West Conference Championships.

“Any time you play great competition it prepares you,” Williams said. “It helps show us what we are doing wrong and now we can improve on it.”

UC Davis also knows that it will take a full team effort to take home a Big West title.

“We only had three guys playing well at this tournament,” Williams said. “Ideally we would want five, but we need at least four. If we can get four guys going for Big West we’ll be in good shape.”

TREVOR CRAMER can be reached at sports@theaggie.org.

Women’s Water Polo Preview

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Teams: No. 15 UC Davis vs. No. 10 Cal State Northridge; vs. No. 12 UC Santa Barbara

Records: Aggies, 15-14 (1-2); Matadors, 25-6 (3-0); Gauchos, 16-9 (2-1)

Where: Schaal Aquatic Center

When: Friday at 6 p.m.; Saturday at noon

Who to watch: Freshman Jessica Dunn is quietly having a stellar season.

The Los Alamitos, Calif. native scored four goals in UC Davis’ two games last weekend, including the game-winning goal over Long Beach State.

The attacker is second on the team with 32 goals on the season.

Did you know? Former Aggie Tiffany Hodgens, now Tiffany Johnson was selected to the Cal Aggie Athletics Hall of fame last week.

Hodgens played for UC Davis from 2000-2004 and earned All-American honors all four of those years. She scored 355 goals during her tenure, including a record 112 as a junior.

Preview: UC Davis is in store for another difficult set of games.

Entering the final weekend of the regular season, the Aggies will match up against the top two teams in the Big West Conference. The fifth-place Aggies will play first-place Cal State Northridge Friday night and second-place UCSB Saturday afternoon.

“Both games are going to be very tough and really close,” said coach Jamey Wright. “We can win both or lose both, that’s how similar the teams are.”

The Matadors recorded their 25th win last weekend, a team record. Goalie Jillian Stapf has been an intimidating presence in net, leading the Big West with 218 saves on the season.

“Northridge is one of the only teams in conference with a strong upperclassmen presence,” Wright said. “They’ve got a lot more experience than a younger team like us.”

However, if there’s one team that’s had their number, it’s been the Aggies. UC Davis has beaten Cal State Northridge the last eight times they’ve met, dating back to 2003.

UC Santa Barbara experienced its first Big West blemish last Saturday – a 7-6 loss to Cal State Northridge. The Aggies and Gauchos have had a tightly contested history as 16 matches have been decided by two goals or less. UC Davis lost to UC Santa Barbara on Feb. 7, 7-4.

“This is going to be a very interesting game,” Wright said. “I think they have the most offensive upside of any team in conference. They’re dangerous yet beatable.”

These two games will be the Aggies’ first home games in over a month. Wright said he was excited to be back at Schaal Aquatic Center.

“It’s always more fun to play at home,” he said. “It seems like forever since we played at home. With it being Picnic Day and Senior Day, it should be a great weekend of water polo.”

Seniors Dana Nelson and Casey Hines will be honored before Saturday’s match as part of Senior Day activities.

– Jason Alpert

Women’s Tennis Preview

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Slug: 100415_sp_WTennisPreview4_15

Headline: Women’s Tennis Preview

Teams: UC Davis vs. UC Irvine

Records: Aggies 9-9, Anteaters 8-10

Where: Marya Welch Tennis Center

When: Saturday at 11 a.m.

Who to watch: Ellie Eadles earned UC Davis’ only singles win against Pacific.

The Costa Mesa, Calif. native has quietly snuck into a second place tie with Dahra Zamudio for team-leading singles wins with 10.

Did you know? Eadles father, Mike Eadles, is the head coach at UC Irvine.

Preview: There are many factors to motivate UC Davis this weekend.

Whether it’s momentum, winning their last home match or to earn a victory for Eadles as she faces off against her father, the Aggies have a chance to finish the season with a winning record as they take on No. 72 UC Irvine.

“There are a lot of reasons to try to get a win,” said coach Bill Maze. “It’s a good draw for our team.”

Maze realizes that Eadles’ game must be kept in-check against the Anteaters because squaring off against a parent can harvest some anxiety.

“I’m sure she’ll probably have mixed emotions and he’ll have some mixed emotions,” Maze said. “He taught her how to play the game.”

This matchup against the Anteaters has Maze preparing the Aggies for the inevitable close games this Saturday. That’s why Maze has been drilling it into them since the last match.

“We have drills to work on the big points,” he said. “I try to talk to the players to get them ready before their matches.”

The Aggies have to be ready for a team that has a deceivingly low record as the Anteaters have played top-notch competition all season.

This matchup, however, may prove inconsequential when the dust finally settles, as every Big West Conference team has been gearing up for the tournament.

“I feel we have prepared as best we could,” Maze said. “We have 10 or 11 days off so we’ll get healed up and ready for the conference tourney.”

Marcos Rodriguez XXX

Women’s Rowing Preview

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Teams: NorCal/SoCal Challenge

Where: Port of Sacramento – Sacramento, Calif.

When: Saturday and Sunday at 8 a.m.

Who to watch: Emily Roberts sits at the bow for the first varsity eight team.

The San Diego, Calif. native, who keeps the middle rowers in stride, is one of only two freshmen in the main boat.

Did you know? This will be the first time the Aggies host this challenge against Northern and Southern California schools.

Preview: Coach Carissa Adams felt one more race was needed for the Aggies’ preparation.

By challenging some of best rowing teams in the state this weekend, the Aggies would be that much more ready when bigger events come their way.

At least that’s the plan. Adams, however, has always preached that focus and determination begins and ends with the team.

“We don’t want to focus on what other programs are doing,” Adams said. “The focus needs to be on ourselves.”

It’s with this team-oriented drive that the Aggies hope they can gain momentum heading into the first big event on their card – the Western Intercollegiate Rowing Association Championships.

Just performing enough to make it past the first day of competition in the WIRA has been something that has plagued the Aggies since the 2006-2007 season.

Yet, as evident in last week’s performance in the Causeway Classic dual, the Aggies are not ones to back down from a challenge because a little adversity catches their eyes. UC Davis’ season-best time against the Hornets – six minutes and 38.06 seconds – shows that perhaps the Aggies are exceeding their own expectations at this point in the year.

Adams, meanwhile, knows a satisfied attitude can often be the death of an aspiring young team like the Aggies.

“We’re progressing, but still have a long way to go,” Adams said. “We need to use these three weeks to get faster.

When the NorCal/SoCal Challenge ends with what the Aggies hope is another team victory, they will soon discover just how fast these events begin to creep up.

– Marcos Rodriguez 

Women’s Lacrosse Preview

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Teams: UC Davis at St. Mary’s; vs. Oregon

Records: Aggies, 8-3 (2-1); Gaels, 4-8 (1-3); Ducks, 6-8 (2-1)

Where: Saint Mary’s Stadium – Moraga, Calif.; Aggie Stadium

When: Today at 4 p.m.; Sunday at 1 p.m.

Who to watch: Senior Molly Peterson has been a constant force for UC Davis over the past four seasons.

The Lafayette, Calif. native enters her final home game of her career on a hot streak as the defender scored four of the Aggies’ seven goals in their 17-7 loss to Denver.

Did you know: Despite both being members of the Mountain Pacific Sports Federation, UC Davis’ match against St. Mary’s today will not count toward either teams MPSF record.

Due to the small size of the MPSF, only the first contest between the teams will be counted to their conference record. The Aggies defeated the Gaels on Feb. 27, 21-11 to earn the conference victory.

Preview: For three Aggies, Sunday’s match against Oregon will be more than a normal game.

Seniors Molly Lapolla, Britt Farquharson and Peterson will each be playing their final game at Aggie Stadium on Sunday.

All three have left their mark on Aggie lacrosse.

Farquharson transferred to UC Davis in 2008, but has made a big impact in her short time. The midfielder led the Aggies in goals, shots and shooting percentage during the 2009 campaign.

Lapolla has been an offensive force over her four years at UC Davis, accumulating 72 goals to date.

Peterson will be remembered for her defense as she has caused 80 turnovers over her career.

“All four have shown tremendous growth over their time here,” said coach Elaine Jones. They’ve been a good influence on the younger players and that’s something that we can benefit from even after they’re gone.”

Not only is the contest important for the three seniors, it’s also crucial for the Aggies’ MPSF record. UC Davis currently sits in a three-way tie for second place in the conference with Oregon and Stanford. Therefore, this game will be critical for the Aggies’ seed in the upcoming MPSF tournament.

“This is a must-win game for us,” Jones said. “Oregon is an aggressive team, so we’re going to have to play our best to beat them.”

– Jason Alpert

Track and Field Preview

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Event: Woody Wilson Classic

Where: Woody Wilson Track

When: Saturday, all day

Who to watch: Alex Wilright continues to have a great outdoor track season.

Though he broke a school-record in the 400 hurdles at last months’ Cal-Neva Championships, he didn’t let it last long.

Last weekend, he broke the same school record as he finished third at 50.47, eclipsing the 51-second mark for the second time this year.

The junior from Elk Grove, Calif. didn’t allow his excellence in last week’s Sun Angel Track Classic to end there, as he also anchored the 4×400 relay team that took the second spot in the UC Davis record books.

Did you know? For seniors, this year’s Woody Wilson Classic will be a bittersweet moment. Though the Aggies will compete at nearby Sacramento State next month, this is the last time this season that the track squads will run at home.

Preview: While many students will be enjoying Picnic Day festivities, the track squad will be hard at work as they push themselves past their limits in their last home meet.

“In the past, the Woody Wilson is seen as a homecoming of sorts,” said women’s coach Deanne Vochatzer. “I’m hoping that we’ll regroup and get our act together.”

The Aggies could certainly use a great team performance, as they have recently stalled after solid performances during spring break. If they want to do well in the conference championships, the entire team needs to be hitting on all cylinders.

Lately, the throwers have been in a little slump.

“The throwers last week didn’t do a whole lot,” said men’s coach Jon Vochatzer. “They really didn’t step up to the plate.”

Deanne Vochatzer echoed his statement.

“I want them to get their act together,” Deanne said. “I want our throwers to get on the board, not foul and perform as well as I know they can.”

– Matt Wang

Softball Preview

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Teams: UC Davis vs. Long Beach State

Records: Aggies, 3-2 (14-23); 49ers, 3-3 (19-18)

Where: La Rue Field

When: Saturday at noon, 2 p.m.; Sunday at noon

Who to watch: Junior Alex Holmes proved to be successful both in the circle and at the plate in game two of last year’s series against Long Beach State.

Holmes, native to San Juan Capistrano, Calif., threw eight scoreless innings on her way to the 1-0 victory – her third win of the 2009 campaign.

In the process, she struck out four while allowing just five hits while delivering a two-run double at the dish to win the game.

Did you know? After her collegiate career, coach Karen Yoder played two years in the Women’s Professional Fastpitch League as a member of the Georgia Pride and the Durham Dragons.

In fact, she was a teammate of Aggie All-American Trisha Reinhardt (Hayes), who graduated from UC Davis in 1997.

Preview: The Aggies enter week three of Big West Conference play in a tie for fourth in the league behind three teams that are tied for first.

In the spot below UC Davis sits Long Beach State who was knocked around by Cal State Northridge in the final game of last weekend’s conference series.

In that game, the 49ers gave up seven runs on seven hits in their 10-9 loss to the Matadors.

On the other hand, the Aggies will be coming off a 2-1 victory over the Tigers of Pacific.

Sarah Axelson was strong at the plate during Saturday’s doubleheader split as she hit a homerun in the first game and delivered an RBI-double in the second.

Axelson’s homer marked her third of the season – already just three behind her 2008 total. Additionally, she is three hits shy of beating her 2009 record of 30.

The two other senior veterans are also well on their way to breaking their own career records in hits per season as Marissa Araujo has posted 20 already this year, and Michelle Espiritu follows with 11. Araujo will need 13 to beat her 2009 mark, and Espiritu will need 24 hits to break the 35 she delivered in 2008.

In addition to the series against the 49ers, the Aggies will be hosting its annual StrikeOut Cancer event during Sunday’s game at noon.

The StrikeOut Cancer event is designed to raise funds and awareness for the fight against cancer. UC Davis has been taking part in the program for several years, and all proceeds will benefit the UC Davis Cancer Center.

– Grace Sprague

Men’s Tennis Preview

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Teams: UC Davis vs. UC Riverside, No. 53 UC Irvine

Records: Aggies, 7-10 (1-2); Highlanders, 3-14 (0-3); Anteaters, 13-9 (2-1)

Where: Marya Welch Tennis Center – Davis, Calif.

When: Saturday at noon; Sunday at noon

Who to watch: Senior Tyler Lee is wrapping up a fine college career as he’s seen his fair share of both doubles and singles play since he was a freshman.

“He’s had a solid year so far,” said coach Daryl Lee of the Bermuda Dunes, Calif. local. “Since Tyler started [at UC Davis], he’s done a good job.”

Did you know: The Aggies have lost to the Anteaters in six of the past seven years. The one year the Aggies didn’t lose was a year in which the two teams didn’t play each other.

Preview: It seems like just yesterday the Aggies were almost halfway through the season and were yet to play a contest on their home court.

Now the reality is that UC Davis will be playing in its last two home matches of the season this weekend to end a seven-game homestand.

The Aggies’ big weekend starts on Picnic Day against the Highlanders. While UC Davis has defeated UC Riverside in each of the last two seasons and the Highlanders’ record isn’t very impressive, coach Lee still sees them as a potential threat.

“I think [the Highlanders] are definitely better than their record,” Lee said. “They’ve had a lot of good individual performances.”

The Aggies will end their weekend on Sunday with the Anteaters who have handled the Aggies well in recent years.

It’s also the last home contest of the year for the Aggies, meaning it’s Senior Day. In recent years, Aggie seniors have had a good amount of success in their last home match.

Lee thinks it depends on the player, though, not the year to determine how they will do in the last home game.

The Aggies’ usual lineup consists of two other seniors who will be playing in their last home match – Hunter Lee and Nic Amaroli.

Both Lee and Amaroli have had different highlights during their college careers but have made more of an impact in doubles play this season, according to Lee.

? Zander Wold

Baseball Preview

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Teams: UC Davis at Cal State Bakersfield

Records: Aggies, 15-14; Roadrunners, 14-16

Where: Hardt Field – Bakersfield, Calif.

When: Friday at 2:30 p.m.; Saturday and Sunday at 1 p.m.

Who to watch: CJ Blom has a second chance.

After allowing six runs in his first collegiate start last weekend against Long Beach State, the Napa, Calif. local will get another opportunity to showcase his talent on the mound with normal starter Anthony Kupbens out due to injury.

“We’ll get him another start and see how he deals with it,” coach Rex Peters said of Blom. “I think he was a little overwhelmed in his first college start last weekend but we’re going to give him one more shot.”

Luckily for the Aggies, there is plenty of reason to believe in Blom as he has struck out more than one batter per inning this season. In addition, the freshman southpaw has three times as many punch-outs as walks.

Did you know: Cal State Bakersfield coach Bill Kernen was the Cal State Fullerton pitching coach in 1987. Peters, who played for the Titan baseball program, graduated in 1989 and was drafted by the Los Angeles Dodgers later that year.

Preview: The Aggies always stay on their toes.

Despite the fact that they are not playing a Big West Conference opponent this weekend, UC Davis is prepared to play all-out.

“Bakersfield has beaten some Big West opponents,” Peters said. “It’s not like we’re Superman. We have to go out and play hard to win regardless of who we’re playing. We don’t take anybody lightly.”

Not only do the Roadrunners have success against the Big West but they defeated the Aggies in Davis by a score of 5-2 a year ago.

In order to beat Cal State Bakersfield this time around, UC Davis believes that it needs to make improvements on the mound.

“We’ll pitch well at times then we’ll pitch awful at times,” Peters said. “That’s why we have games that get out of hand pretty early. There’s not enough consistency there.”

Despite their inconsistencies on the mound, the Aggies keep working hard as a team to improve.

“You just keep working with them in a bullpen and hopefully, as they get more and more experience and outings on the mound, they’ll develop some consistency,” Peters said.

Fortunately for UC Davis, work ethic and camaraderie are never in short supply.

“Everybody on the team are buddies – they’re brothers,” sophomore David Popkins said. ” Everybody gets after it.”

– Mark Ling

Column: A gruesome twosome

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I had a deep, life-altering, existentialist conversation with some random whilst stuffing envelopes at my internship (it’s “character-building,” I’m sure). Except not really. My envelope-stuffing partner said that just about every possible life situation can be explained by a “Seinfeld” episode. I’d disagree because it’s never quite made clear how George ever successfully picks up women, but I realize in retrospect that I once held a very skewed view of the series finale.

I thought it was crap. A cheap, contrived plot device to land the main characters in jail. Now I see that it was the perfect cap on the proverbial bottle: a summary of a show about four terrible people, on trial, forced to face every last person they screwed over in the last nine years. Shit, son.

It got me thinking about me and one of my friends. He told me he wanted a badass nickname for the purpose of this column, so I decided that nothing is more badass than BAMF. He would be the Clyde to my Bonnie (or the Nancy to my Sid, because I would stab him on a heroin high first) if he didn’t prefer Ryan Reynolds to ScarJo. There are times I almost think he resents me for being a girl. Case in point: We were driving down Russell when he saw something he liked standing around shirtless in a front yard. I told him I’d already tapped that. He disdainfully said, “Gross. That’s damaged goods.”

Besides that, though, he has his moments of handiness. I was at a party once that was heavily populated with men who also like Ryan Reynolds. I suppose I thought it was a good idea to go around asking some of them how old they were when they decided they didn’t like vag. One of the guys countered, “I’m not gay. Let me prove it to you,” and started making out with me. This is when BAMF sprung to my rescue by shouting, “GAHHH! I’m her boyfriend! Get out of here!”

Then he shooed him away exactly in the same manner you’d shoo a mutt away from your blue-blooded poodle. Gee whiz, it was swell and awful sweet.

He’s not the gay best friend who dresses me in couture and watches chick flicks with me. He’s the gay best friend who calls me a cumdumpster while I’m on the phone with my dad and yells, “PENIS!” out of car windows. And he would rather be hanged, eviscerated and quartered than participate in anything as ridiculous as a glitter protest. The prospect of us going camping incites imagery of us poking a sleeping bear with a big stick and then running like hell when it goes live. Our carcasses would be discovered by a stoned park ranger on the search for the perfect spot in the woods to take a piss, I’d imagine.

The point is I thank our lucky stars that life isn’t a “Seinfeld” episode and (knock on wood) we won’t be forced to face everyone we’ve wronged in our time at Davis. If we were, we’d have to face one angry mom with a toddler whose table we stole at the Farmers Market. We thought she was out of hearing range when BAMF called her a bitch, but she turned around and asked, “What did you call me?” Poor kid had no choice but to repeat it.

Then there are the Asian girls we got into a fight with and ended up shouting “enjoy your sexless lives, virgins!” at. Oh, the maturity we possess. We may or may not have called out some ugly, annoying people for being ugly and annoying, too. We played the penis game before anyone ever heard of 500 Days of Summer, which is probably bad news for every parent who’s ever had to cover their child’s ears when we’re in public. And then there’s that one chick who made the mistake of fighting us for the last available electric socket in the library during finals week. Note, people: You never want to be that girl.

We’re just kids who roam the streets of Davis singing Taylor Swift songs, leaving a trail of broken hearts and burning trash cans in our wake. I concede. It’s just a matter of time till we get our asses kicked. We may be offensive and obnoxious, but we’re not that bad. We’ve yet to get anyone deported or given someone a used wheelchair, but we’ve probably secured reservations in hell. We don’t care if they serve beer in hell – we just want Blue Hawaiis.

MICHELLE RICK and BAMF also enjoy rating boys at the Rec Pool and butchering songs at karaoke. Send butcherable song suggestions to marick@ucdavis.edu. But only if “Glee” hasn’t butchered it first.

Column: The Alligator Funk-House

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This past weekend was odd for me. As I mentioned last week, I had contracted the Black Death or some similar plague. I was on antibiotics and sober from Sunday to Sunday, which is probably a record for me. (I juiced a lot as a child.)

Since I’ve decided not to study or do homework anymore, being sober left me with a lot of free time. I almost took up juggling poisoned knives as a way to kill time (and maybe myself), but instead I decided to go out to see some live, locally-grown Davis music.

It was all right. There was a guy playing guitar. He was better at actually playing the guitar than he was at explaining the jokes he made between each song. For the most part, it was an enjoyable experience. I got to meet some cool people and all that, be social, get out of the house … yada yada yada.

While I was watching this guitar player attempt to explain himself to me, I got to thinking about the live music scene in Davis. Granted, I’m not the most knowledgeable guy when it comes to who’s playing the latest cool electro in the latest cool underground electro club, but I discovered something amiss with the music scene here in Davis.

“But Will,” you might interject, a look of utter disbelief plastered across your face, “what the fuck are you talking about? We’ve got some kind of club at that one Thai place, there’s country night at The Grad, Sophia’s has some shit sometimes and G Street has a stage with a stripper pole. By Baphomet’s perfumed beard, what could Davis be lacking?”

Well, friends. I’ll tell you.

A blues bar. Yes, I said it.

Once I leave college and pursue my fortune as a railroad baron or as a captain of a whaling ship, perhaps I’ll return to Davis and create just such a place.

I’ll call it The Alligator Funk-House.

It will be a place of true grit. The walls will be covered in antique pictures of men who either killed alligators for a living or were killed by alligators. There will be dim lighting with booths in the corners where scoundrels will speak in low tones about loose women and – you guessed it – alligators.

The bouncers will never speak. They will be titanic figures cloaked in shadow. They will either nod to let you in or shake their finger menacingly at you like T-1000 does in the steel mill. All the waitresses will be intoxicatingly beautiful she-devils with low-cut blouses and silver tongues.

The best part of The Alligator Funk-House, however, will be the music. Five days a week, there will be strictly blues. Real blues, man. Real blues. Musicians will have to have cool names, like Howlin’ Wolf or Muddy Waters or Lead Belly.

There will also be room for jazz as well as some electrified funky music on Saturdays. A true funk night, not like that cheap shit G Street tries to pass off. AC/DC mashed up with some club jam is not funk.

The Alligator Funk-House will be a place for a good time. Pints will always cost a dollar, and the whiskey will always leave you with a warm feeling. It will be a place for dancing, for talking, for smoking big cigars and gambling with gold doubloons that were fished out of the gulf. It will be a place where the music will play into the night, where the fireflies will float in on lazing breezes that roll in from over the Caribbean Sea. Where one drunken misstep will leave you deep in the bayous, where the alligators pick bones from their teeth with other bones.

Goddamnit. I’ve made the place too cool. Now they probably won’t let me in.

WILL LONG wants you to remember the old saying, “When in Davis, do as the Romans did.” He hopes your weekend will be filled with revelry and debauchery. He’ll be working hard to make Marc Antony proud. (The Roman, not the Puerto Rican). Will can be reached at wclong@ucdavis.edu.