The unexpected benefits of showing love to the ‘you’ of the past
By NATALIE SALTER—arts@theaggie.org
During the 13th track of her 2023 album “Bewitched,” Icelandic-Chinese singer-songwriter Laufey turns deeply introspective. “Letter To My 13 Year Old Self” is everything the title suggests — a melodic message backwards through time to her adolescent years. “I wish I could go back and give her a squeeze / Myself at thirteen / And just let her know, know that she’s beautiful” she sings softly, her voice full of emotion. Touchingly, she metaphorically reassures her younger self with comforting words of unconditional love.
The narrative Laufey presents throughout “Letter To My 13 Year Old Self” is all too familiar. She chronicles all of the insecurities and loneliness of being 13, looking back at the self-doubt she experienced at this age with a note of sadness. But what makes the song so moving is the kindness and gentleness she shows her younger self.
It was “Letter To My 13 Year Old Self” that came to the front of my mind when I sat down to journal one night — and the practice I applied to my life thanks to the song might be healing for you too.
On its own, journaling is a wonderful habit to maintain. A journal can serve as an outlet for your troubles and feelings. If you have no one to talk to about what ails you, journaling is an alternative way to let that weight off of your shoulders. A journal can also serve as a chronicle of your mind — you may find yourself looking back at your old writings for a window back into a previous chapter of your life.
After listening to “Letter To My 13 Year Old Self,” however, I wondered if my personal journaling habit could take a new direction, one that could allow me a therapeutic sort of interaction with my younger self.
Instead of detailing the events of my current life, I wrote at the top of the blank page in front of me an address to myself. It was no longer a diary entry but a letter, even if it would never properly be sent or received. And then I wrote, talking back to a past that would never respond, and felt a new sort of lightness by the final word.
There is something remarkable about the process of conversing with your younger self. If you sit for a moment and think back to a point in your past when you felt extremely lonely, you were never truly alone even then — because you still had yourself. That version of you might feel distant now, but reconnecting with them can be a deeply personal experience.
Whether you already journal or are unfamiliar with the process, I implore you to take a bit of your free time to attempt one of these letters. Think about a time in your life when you needed reassurance or guidance, and write what you would tell yourself if you had the chance. What advice would you give your younger self? What would you have needed to hear to feel happier at that time?
As I did, you might find yourself faced with a curious inclination to be kinder than you expected to your past self. Does it really matter to you that this younger iteration of you struggled with acne or failed that one math test? Maybe you are being too hard on yourself — you were still figuring out who you wanted to be. You’ll likely realize that you were just young and learning how to live.
Moreover, treating your younger self with love opens up a comforting possibility. Somewhere in the future, there’s an older and wiser version of you looking back at the “you” of today with the same pride and affection. If you can be kind to your past today, you can trust that your future will look at you with the same kindness, and plenty of love.
Written by: Natalie Salter—arts@theaggie.org
