Lessons from Miss Americana herself
By MOLLY THOMPSON – mmtthompson@ucdavis.edu
It’s been a great summer to be a ‘Swiftie’; As the TikTok videos flooding my feed proclaim, “Mother has been feeding us.”
On Aug. 11, Taylor Swift announced her 12th studio album and cover reveal, “The Life of a Showgirl.” On Aug. 13, she guest-starred on a two-hour podcast episode with her NFL superstar boyfriend Travis Kelce and his brother Jason. And, on Aug. 28, Swift announced her engagement to Kelce, which included a photo of the $5 million rock she now has on her finger — so much for “paper rings.” All this is to say, she has been very present in the societal landscape recently.
While she’s in the spotlight arguably more than ever before, I (as a self-proclaimed Swiftie of at least a decade) wanted to take the opportunity to highlight what I think are some of the most valuable lessons we can all learn from our favorite blonde pop princess — Miss Swift herself.
Swift is infamous for her “long list of ex-lovers.” As featured in her autobiographical Netflix documentary, “Miss Americana,” she received a lot of flack earlier in her career for being a serial dater and focusing too much of her discography on her many tumultuous relationships. Long story short, she’s been through the dating wringer.
Although it’s true that the average marriage age of younger generations is rising, it’s undeniable that a lot of societal pressure is put on marrying and starting a family by a certain age milestone. Swift is currently 35 years old and will turn 36 in December. She didn’t meet the man she’s going to marry until she was 33. While this is not “old” by any means, what I hope our generation can learn is that it’s okay if you don’t find the love of your life in your 20s.
If Swift, one of the most beloved and renowned people of our generation, didn’t find “the one” until her mid-30s, then we, as college students in our late teens and early 20s, should try to let go of our fears of falling behind or missing out. If you rush things or settle into a relationship that simply isn’t serving you, you could very well miss out on your “So High School” moment. It took Swift years of heartbreak and turmoil, but it was all worth it in the end. So, take a deep breath, trust your gut and trust the process. If “Miss Misery” can find her Prince Charming, then so can you.
Along a similar vein, Swift’s highly autobiographical discography can teach us that just because things don’t always work out the way we expect them to, it doesn’t mean that life is worse for it. For example, Swift dated British actor Joe Alwyn for six years and seemed to expect to be with him for the rest of her life. While all theories regarding who she writes her songs about are alleged, she wrote songs during her relationship with Alwyn including “Lover” (“can we always be this close / forever and ever”), “Paper Rings” (“I like shiny things but I’d marry you with paper rings”) and many more that alluded to marriage or “forever” in one way or another.
Later on however, she ended up writing songs about the same man and the same relationship that depict a devastating and heartbreaking end, such as “You’re Losing Me” (“how long could we be a sad song ‘til we were too far gone to bring back to life?”), “So Long, London” (“I’m just mad as hell ‘cause I loved this place for so long, London / had a good run / a moment of warm sun / but I’m not the one”) and others with similarly bereft sentiments.
She’s an incredible storyteller, and it’s tangible in her songs just how ruinous her breakup with Alwyn felt. I mean, the end of a six-year, formative relationship with someone you were (at one point) counting on marrying is inevitably a life-shattering experience. I would bet money on the fact that, in the depths of the breakup, she genuinely believed that she might never recover or find a better man.
But not too long after, Kelce walked into her life with a friendship bracelet and a dream (we can just go ahead and ignore the existence of Matty Healy). I can almost guarantee that she prefers this outcome — her new fiancé — over what she thought her life with Alwyn was going to look like. My point is, we can plan all we want, and yet sometimes life takes unexpected turns. But they won’t always be turns for the worse; In fact, it’s likely that whatever unexpected twists come your way will eventually be blessings in disguise.
All of this is to say, you’re going to be okay. Even if you haven’t met your soulmate by the age of 22 (although congratulations to those of you who have), it’ll be okay. Even if the plans that you counted on become foiled, it’ll be okay. It’ll probably be better in the end. Trust that you’ll find your place in this world; You still have so much time ahead of you.
Written by: Molly Thompson — mmtthompson@ucdavis.edu
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