Humor: Shields Library doors not automatic, just repulsed by students
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Humor: Shields Library doors not automatic, just repulsed by students

Reveal of classified information sends shockwaves through UC Davis In a shocking breach of classified information, Wikileaks announced Wednesday that it obtained damaging information about Shields Library at…

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Humor: New edition of text to include 26 exhilarating new sentences
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Humor: New edition of text to include 26 exhilarating new sentences

What’s an extra $150 anyway? DAVIS, CA — As a “journalist,” I’m often able to report on stories that have a real fake impact on the population at…

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Humor: Edgy cow gets second ear tag after hitting emo phase
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Humor: Edgy cow gets second ear tag after hitting emo phase

Life became so much darker for Beefy Cowlhoun after he hit those wretched teen years If you thought that the phase of heavy eyeliner, terrible taste in music…

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Humor: Student crosses same road seven times to avoid people with clipboards
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Humor: Student crosses same road seven times to avoid people with clipboards

A look into avoidance tactics students use against weirdly friendly solicitors Who’s that person who just said “hi there!” to you with such enthusiasm? Is it your best…

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Humor: Trump’s been Venmo-requesting us for attention — decline it
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Humor: Trump’s been Venmo-requesting us for attention — decline it

Treat Trump like the bigoted preacher on the quad There’s a Westboro-esque character on campus who shows up every day at the quad to preach. His sermon never…

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Humor: Prospective tour guide absolutely killing it with invisible crowd
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Humor: Prospective tour guide absolutely killing it with invisible crowd

How invisible people are helping prepare the tour guides of tomorrow Many tour-guide hopefuls have been practicing giving tours around campus for the past few weeks. It’s a…

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Humor: Student suspended after making cadaver in Haring Hall “dab”
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Humor: Student suspended after making cadaver in Haring Hall “dab”

An elaborate attempt to be trendy does not end well for Eleni Daniels It’s a moderately-known fact that UC Davis has a cadaver lab, but it’s widely known…

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Humor: UC Davis Bookstore set to replace Whole Foods
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Humor: UC Davis Bookstore set to replace Whole Foods

hoPop-up shop finds new location Whole Foods, the popular health food store in Davis, closed its doors on Feb. 12. The store, which opened in October 2012, became…

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Humor: Score! Man at party knows how to fix “the system”
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Humor: Score! Man at party knows how to fix “the system”

This man just saved politics 2017 has been a rough political year for Americans. Donald Trump’s election has raised questions about who we are as a nation and…

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Humor: New professor actually just two kids in a trenchcoat
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Humor: New professor actually just two kids in a trenchcoat

Children stacked on top of each other attempt to teach a class in order to fund Lego hobbies Even this late in the quarter, professors still manage to…

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Humor: Student takes quick study break after thinking about starting homework
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Humor: Student takes quick study break after thinking about starting homework

Students share unorthodox study techniques that are probably fine When walking through the library, one typically sees busy students toiling away at their schoolwork. But students can’t possibly…

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Humor: Pence Gallery to change name “for obvious reasons”
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Humor: Pence Gallery to change name “for obvious reasons”

Building in downtown Davis withdraws inadvertent support for controversial vice president Davis’ 40-year-old Pence Gallery will be undergoing some changes in response to the results of the 2016…

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Humor: Midterm to cover slides, Ch. 1-14, lab, readings and any and all information ever written
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Humor: Midterm to cover slides, Ch. 1-14, lab, readings and any and all information ever written

Students able to complete the course with B- or higher guaranteed total omniscience DAVIS, Calif. — UC Davis’ very own general chemistry professor Tom Meineke has done it.…

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Humor: Don’t owe your friends money — owe them experiences
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Humor: Don’t owe your friends money — owe them experiences

The barter system was made for college I’m not someone who clings to his masculinity that much — it’s not easy to emasculate me, despite what you may…

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Humor: Memes are the only viable filler for the hole in my soul
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Humor: Memes are the only viable filler for the hole in my soul

The woes of a 21st-century gal who hates life and loves relatable pictures about it This decade has been a one-way ticket to crazy town with the crazy…

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