Cartoon: Welcome
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Cartoon: Welcome

Humor: Tercero cow wears disguise to avoid families during orientation season
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Humor: Tercero cow wears disguise to avoid families during orientation season

Heifer caught going in-cow-neato What was supposed to be a fun introduction to life at UC Davis for incoming freshman James Daly ended in butt-hurt. Daly, recently admitted…

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Humor: Davis turkeys mysteriously vanish after Chipotle introduces new protein option
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Humor: Davis turkeys mysteriously vanish after Chipotle introduces new protein option

Top-ranked animal scientists suspect fowl play For years, many an Aggie had to bear witness to the brutality of the Davis turkeys. These birds haunted Cowtown ever since…

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Humor: This Article is Redacted
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Humor: This Article is Redacted

Providing humorous insight on ██████████ This article is intended to be hilarious. Unfortunately, many of the jokes, jests, jeers, japes, quips, gags, parodies, pranks, puns, ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ clever turns…

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Humor: “No, we’re supposed to haggle,” says advisor to student who just wants to graduate on time
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Humor: “No, we’re supposed to haggle,” says advisor to student who just wants to graduate on time

And now for, something completely not different that millennials still won’t understand: a Monty Python parody! The following is a scene from the life of Brian. No no,…

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Humor: Don’t judge these controversial figures for their politics — judge them for being bad at music
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Humor: Don’t judge these controversial figures for their politics — judge them for being bad at music

By knowing nothing about classical music, Millennials deny themselves a valuable political attack strategy Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Bartók, Haydn, Mozart, Mahler, Strauss, Chopin, Liszt, Debussy, Ravel, Rachmaninoff, Richard…

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Humor: Jackass in humanities class baffled by how many academic papers “Al Et” has written
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Humor: Jackass in humanities class baffled by how many academic papers “Al Et” has written

Alfred? Alexander? Alexandra? Dear Editors at The California Aggie, My name is Dr. Barnaby Alastair Exeter-Asherton, PhD, and I’m a professor in the Department of Sociology at UC…

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Cartoon: Goodbye
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Humor: Gary May battles Katehi in the Death Star
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Humor: Gary May battles Katehi in the Death Star

Star Wars vs. Star Trek — who would win? What started as an innocent conversation between UC Davis’ current Chancellor Gary May and pepper spray perpetrator Linda Katehi…

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Humor: HBO to auction off opportunity to rewrite Game of Thrones Season 8
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Humor: HBO to auction off opportunity to rewrite Game of Thrones Season 8

Will this finally appease the fans? ***SPOILER ALERT*** Dear Game of Thrones fans, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss here. Obviously, neither us nor HBO have any intention whatsoever…

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Cartoon: On Campus
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Humor: Tercero to convert into Japanese-style capsule hotel for maximum profits
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Humor: Tercero to convert into Japanese-style capsule hotel for maximum profits

Pod save America As we all know, UC Davis is a pyramid scheme designed to make money off of gullible Californians and even more gullible out-of-staters. You say…

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Humor: Pitch for WORKING TITLE, a disaster movie on the hypothetical threat of “climate change”
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Humor: Pitch for WORKING TITLE, a disaster movie on the hypothetical threat of “climate change”

Taking pseudo-science fiction to the extreme through the art of cinema Dear prospective producers and generous investors, My name is Milton I. Scaps, Jr. Journalist. Thinker. Christian. Conservative.…

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Cartoon: Canvas
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Humor: DC hosts houseboats-themed meal with only dino chicken nuggets, alcohol
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Humor: DC hosts houseboats-themed meal with only dino chicken nuggets, alcohol

Patrons say it’s the best meal they’ve ever served In preparation for the most anticipated weekend of the year, the UC Davis Dining Commons decided to rock the…

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