Two winters ago, I believed that love lasted an eternity and that goodbyes were never forever. I also had a boyfriend back then — first and only love, like something straight out of a Hollywood movie. But love is never like it is in the movies.

Love is so widely written and talked about that it would be gratuitous for me to add to the massive heap. Yet, I feel it is important for you to have a story to relate to and for you to know that, he and I, we really did love each other.

Our relationship was filled with pure and unconditional devotion, but nothing else aside from that. In fact, I don’t remember ever doing anything fun together.

The happiest memory I have is of waiting for him to visit me each night. He used to come and knock on my window at exactly 11:20 p.m. after he had gotten off from work, just to see me.

So, when the visits suddenly stopped and the last words I heard from him were, “I don’t love you anymore,” I felt a million stabs to the heart. All I did the night of the break-up was lie motionless on my bed, suffering silently.

I lied there waiting for my body to shut down and for life to slowly escape me. Around me, the world had fallen and shattered into countless pieces, but I didn’t want to pick them up. At the time, I didn’t want anything. I just wanted to die.

As with most break-up stories, family and friends came to comfort me. They would say things to me like, “He doesn’t know what he’s losing,” and “You can do so much better,” and so forth. But I still felt worthless.

The thoughts running through my mind were typical of most girls who experience heartbreak. There were times when I would miss him and blamed myself for what happened, and other times when I would hate him for hurting me so severely.

I also asked myself a multitude of questions that, until this day, have gone unanswered. Why did it happen? How did it happen? What is he doing now? What is he feeling? But questioning only served to cause frustration and anger.

While all these things were stirring inside me, my mom forced me to eat. Once I was able to regain my appetite and my sleep, I set out to do what most girls do after the depression stage is over.

I busied myself (like the articles in women’s magazines advised) with looking good so that I could feel good. I bought new clothes and make-up, got a new haircut, hit the gym and went out with my girls. I even picked up new hobbies and got in touch with my spiritual side.

The activities kept me happily occupied and I felt good during the daytime. But none of that mattered because at the end of the day I was still alone.

Sadly, when it comes to this sort of thing, only time can heal.  During the interim, the only thing you can do is try to eat properly and keep busy.

Don’t worry if you feel like life is not worth living or like you mean absolutely nothing. Time will also help regain your confidence and self-worth. And if you feel like you’re stuck in the past, that’s normal, too.

I used to lie awake in bed each night, waiting for him to come back and knock on my window again. At some point, after almost a year of waiting for his return, I had to accept reality and finally said goodbye.

Today, I find myself saying goodbye yet again; this time to you, my readers. Thank you for supporting me through my beginning trials as a novice writer.

Your weekly e-mails and loyal following have flattered me, and it is with regret that our journey together must end here this day.

But, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all this (and Semisonic sings it best in “Closing Time”),  it’s that every new beginning must come from some other beginning’s end.

I believe that if it was meant to be, then it will be. If it was truly love, then it will last an eternity. And if all this may be the case, then goodbyes aren’t always forever.

Hope we meet again soon!

MICHELLE NGUYEN can be reached at michellen1990@yahoo.com.

Finals week presents students with a chance to redeem themselves. While some students would gladly sell their souls, arms, legs and firstborn children for a set of perfect As, most are just hoping to slide by unscathed. So as an act of selfless generosity and compassion for your suffering, I have decided to share with you the following secrets for success.

Firstly, if you still have a social life, you must exterminate it immediately. Social events and gatherings are like hot potatoes — the longer you hold them, the more likely they are to gradually and painfully burn everything you have worked for to ashes.

In order to rid yourself of distractions, you must not only put your relationships on hiatus, but also learn to spend all of your time at home, slaving over a hot computer. The 10-minute breaks between classes should be more than sufficient as your sole sources of fun and entertainment.

When you get home, grab a pot of coffee from the kitchen, then lock yourself in your room and work. For every two hours of doing homework, remember to spend one hour studying for future exams. Continue until finished with everything due tomorrow.

If it is still before midnight, that means you did not put in enough effort, will ultimately fail at life and will have a career of selling organs and donating blood multiple times a week, earning just enough money to buy a meager month’s supply of Top Ramen. If it is after midnight, then congrats; you are one step closer to your 4.0.

So what now? Though there are various ways to waste time, sleeping is by far the worst. In order to get your As, you must learn to sacrifice. At midnight it is crucial you reread your notes (to ensure maximum retention) and begin reading chapters that professors have not yet assigned, so that you may strut ahead of everyone else and slowly tear them apart in fiery classroom debates, watching them squirm under the iron pressure of your overachieving thumb (this is an extra reward for being studious).

What more? I have two words for you: teacher’s pet. Go to PetCo and buy yourself a collar. Everybody loves self-righteous and if-I-have-to-kill-to-get-my-A-I-would-students, especially educators. They will enjoy your dedication, ambition, knowledge and consistent participation in class. Make sure to wave your hand in the air repeatedly (mimicking air traffic controllers) and elaborate on what others are saying, or interrupt them before they can say anything that might impress the teacher.

Always pay attention in class. Write your notes in no less than seven colors and bring highlighters to categorize your information and make your books look like they were attacked by Care Bears. Also, have a stapler, ruler, protractor, eraser, tub of paperclips, laptop computer, bottle of Prozac and a crucifix with you at all time. Readiness and organization is key!

If you have problems fitting all of your resources in a traditional backpack, opt for a rolling one. Alternatively, you can buy a large, yet easy-to-maneuver suitcase, preferably one with 360-degree swivel wheels. If all else fails, however, and you are willing to augment your budget, a dolly or personal UPS truck would be ideal. (Or you can become BFFs with a proctor and beg him or her to drive your stuff around.)

Remember, self-harm is not the answer. Sleep deprivation, though perilous in excess, is perfectly okay! All this work will pay off. Someday you will wake up in grad school or med school. When you do, feel free to use my methods for another exciting four-plus years. If you live through that, you will score a job and at last be able to live your life in the freedom and happiness of the confines of a cubicle regulated by a most soulless boss.

Not. Don’t sweat it. Study for a few minutes every day and you’ll be fine. Finals do not have to be the bane of your existence. Happy testing! Also, I’d like to thank all my readers and skimmers for spending their valuable time on my column(s). It was a pleasure!

If you ever need to talk, ZENITA SINGH will always be there for you at zensingh@ucdavis.edu!

We are writing to offer our solidarity in the aftermath of the events that occurred on your campus on Nov. 18 and to express full support for the general strike you called for Nov. 28. Like so many others around the world, we have followed the stories, photos and videos that emerged from your university and are horrified by the police brutality you endured as well as the inadequate response to it from your administration. At the same time, we are heartened by your steadfast actions and the ways in which you continue to mobilize as a community.

The struggles you face — massive tuition fee increases, cuts to public education and other social services, the securitization of your campuses and the criminalization of student dissent — are struggles that we face here too. On Nov. 10, 200,000 university and college students across the province of Quebec staged a one-day strike and 35,000 marched in Montreal against a proposed 75 percent tuition fee increase.

This demonstration was followed by a student occupation of the James Administration Building at McGill University to protest McGill’s unfair labour practices and central role in lobbying the Quebec government for higher tuition fees. The 14 student occupiers were beaten by campus security personnel and two hundred supporters demonstrating outside were clubbed, pepper sprayed, tear-gassed and ultimately forced off campus by riot police.

As you know, similar scenes have recently taken place at UC Berkeley and CUNY’s Baruch College, and these recall earlier confrontations in Puerto Rico, Chile, the United Kingdom, Greece and elsewhere. The students affected by these events all stand for the same principles: freedom of speech and assembly, accessible post-secondary education and the democratization of all facets of university life.  Increasingly, crucial decisions about our universities are being made by a small but interconnected group of administrators whose primary allegiance is to the corporations that direct their governing boards, not the students, faculty and staff who make up our communities.

We have just learned that our own principal, Heather Munroe-Blum, sits on your Chancellor’s Board of Advisors. We are also aware that your Chancellor, Linda Katehi, has served as an advisor to the Greek government, which recently abolished the nearly 40-year old law that had banned police from entering university campuses upon her recommendation. These are not mere coincidences.

Given the international context of the challenges we collectively face, our student movements cannot remain isolated from one another. As we strive to build strong relationships across national borders, we can learn from each other’s experiences and continue our struggles knowing that we stand together in solidarity. The students of McGill University are with you, now and always.

The students of Nov. 10
McGill University, Montreal, Quebec

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (if we disregard those pesky finals, of course). The food comas experienced following that Thanksgiving turkey (or in my case: Tofurky), getting pushed around the mall during those early Black Friday deals and shaking out every last bit of moolah in that wallet for Cyber Monday savings: that part is over. The holiday season is here and it all starts, at least in my family, with a tree.

I’m the most spirited in my family when it comes to the month of December. It’s probably because it’s a month of no school, getting and giving presents and my birthday. Whatever the case, as soon as we decide to put up the tree, I become the house DJ, blasting “Happy Chrismahannukwanzakah to You”, much to the rest of my family’s annoyance.

Some people go out and buy a tree the day after Thanksgiving. Personally, that’s not my style. That Friday, you can find me at a store reaching over shorter people to get that hot dress in my size. After shopping, there’s no way that I would have the energy to start decorating a tree. Props to those that do.

In fact, at my house, decoration of the tree doesn’t start until after finals and often just falls around a weekend whenever we feel like getting up from watching football. It doesn’t even involve going out to buy a tree because our six-foot tall plastic tree is sitting in the basement, collecting dust.

Yes, I admit it, we cheat when it comes to Christmas trees. Rather than trying to maintain a live tree, we hook on plastic branches to a large pole and then smother the entire tree in ornaments and lights to cover the fakeness. Hey, it’s the spirit that counts, right?

The tree has become so prominent in the portrayal of Christmas in culture that we have become accustomed to it. I was watching an episode of “30 Rock” and it took some time before I noticed the gigantic lit tree behind Liz Lemon. Even though it’s just a tree covered in intricate decorations, the time of year makes it special.

Not only do we have a fake tree, but because I come from an Indian background and have been raised a Hindu, our Christmas celebrations have always been a little different. Sure, there’s Christmas music while we decorate, but my dad always interjects with requests for Indian movie songs. Ultimately, the decorating takes longer than necessary because we end up sweating it out while jumping to loud Tamil, Bhangra and Bollywood beats.

To add to this dancing, there has been a recent emergence of YouTube videos involving Indians and Christmas. If you haven’t seen it already, there’s “The 12 Days of Indian Christmas,” which I guarantee will get stuck in your head and always gets my family rolling around in laughter. Another video, part of the series “Keeping Up with the Guptas”, celebrates what they call “Vishnumas”. In any case, video-watching has become a new tradition in our tree-decorating process.

As we all know, especially from stepping onto the scale, the holiday season is a time of decadent sweets. Making cookies for “Santa” (hopefully I’m not blowing the secret for anyone) is usually a tradition for the night before Christmas, but since we usually end up decorating the tree at the last-minute, baking begins when we put up the tree. Cookie decorating tends to take place later in the evening (especially if there’s a good NFL game on), so the cookies are made at the same time as our dinner. Contrary to popular belief, it’s not always a curry on the stove, but the aromas of the spices certainly do add a unique fragrance to the decorating atmosphere. And all of that hard work is always paid off afterward when we sit down for a traditional South-Indian meal.

Traditions are a big part of the holiday season. Whether it’s lighting the menorah for Hanukkah or the kinara for Kwanzaa, blending cultures while tree-decorating like my family, or even drinking hot chocolate while reading a good book by the fireplace, get into the holiday spirit. We’ve got a whole month off. It’s time to celebrate.

MEDHA SRIDHAR really should start thinking about finals but is too caught up in the holiday cheer. Contact her at mdsridhar@ucdavis.edu.

Let me begin my comments by sharing my heartfelt sorrow: what happened Nov. 18 on our campus and the impact on so many, was nothing less than a tragedy.

When I learned what had happened, I was horrified and sickened. I am so very sorry for the students who were sprayed, those who were witnesses — for all of our students and their families — as they have all been impacted by these events.

I am sorry for the staff and faculty, alumni and community members, as we have all been impacted too. As many of you know, for over 30 years I have been affiliated with this campus community as a student, as a faculty member and as an administrator, and to be sure there have been dark days. Last Friday was, however, without doubt, the darkest. That is not the Davis I know. That is not the UC Davis I love.

I am still deeply troubled and still searching for answers. I look forward to working with all the various reviews, with complete openness and honesty, to understand what happened as a first step to ensuring this does not happen again in the future. I admit I find my emotions oscillating between deep sorrow, frustration and even anger. And like many, I too, find myself wanting to find someone or some group to blame for this tragedy. In these hard times, there are many to choose from. Some may choose the police, some the administration, some may focus on the disproportionate distribution of wealth, the power of corporations, the disinvestment in higher education, the financial times and/or the fear that is bred by these uncertain times.

But, I am weary of blame.

At some point in the coming days, weeks and months, I hope we can all find our way to move beyond the blaming, and to instead focus on the healing. We must find a way to heal these terrible wounds. For me, this has begun with a prayer for all those impacted. A prayer for all of our students, the members of our community, and yes, this includes the police officers that were involved.

Like many, in order to mend, I need to work actively. I need to know that I am serving the campus in a productive manner. With this goal, I have made a commitment, an absolute promise, to do all that I can to ensure that such an event does not happen again on this campus. It is my hope that through work and by caring for each individual, the community that is UC Davis will again be made whole.

I have hope for healing. I have hope for one reason: our students. While there is much shame to share, I have felt nothing but pride for our students. I have been proud of their efforts for peaceful demonstration and protest and for their continuing efforts to maintain peace during this troubling time.

It is my sincere hope that each of us finds a way to look forward and to heal. And I hope that, together, we can collectively work for integrity and understanding, for change, and to heal as a campus community.

Fred Wood
Vice Chancellor, student affairs

At UC Davis, finals week can mean one of many things. A flurry of take-home exams followed by spending finals week laughing at your friends with actual exams, a struggle to find even one uncomfortable wooden chair in the library, or an overdose on study drugs that results in your room being completely redecorated but not any actual learning.

So what can I tell you about how to handle finals week? I’m not here to give a lecture about study technique or keeping on task. To be perfectly honest, I might be at the very bottom of the list of people you would want to ask about that. I am, however, very well-informed in what might be even more important than getting prepared for tests. I’m talking, of course, about everything but getting prepared for tests, also known as procrastination.

I know everyone reading is probably thinking that they know how to procrastinate already. What you don’t realize is that there is a fine art to doing it right. Any old chump can spend a few hours of Facebook instead of getting their work done, but Facebook binges are for amateur procrastinators. I may or may not be saying this because I already exhausted all my material on Facebook in a previous column, but that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

One of the very best things you can do while avoiding the looming threat of exams is to get productive in other ways. As I mentioned earlier, a room redecorating or just a deep clean is not an uncommon activity for someone with other more important things to do. I usually do my laundry, not when my clothes are dirty, but as a last-resort attempt to resist starting my essay. I also often spend my should-be-doing-homework time on activities such as planning a schedule for next quarter, calling my grandma, going food shopping and getting exercise.

But if everything we did while procrastinating was productive, then we wouldn’t be allowed to act cool and say things like, “OMG, I’m so lazy!” when referring to ourselves in online chats. So obviously there has to be a long list of things to get in the way of what we actually need to get done. There are a few obvious hindrances. For myself, the issue stems from my lifestyle choice of saving all of my work to be done on Sunday, only to be halted by an all-day barrage of professional football.

Another distraction present in the lives of many students is the website Reddit. As it was referred to by my cousin’s boyfriend this Thanksgiving as “the best website in the history of the internet and anything ever,” if you haven’t heard of it, you should go check it out.

I explained Reddit to my parents as essentially a giant online bulletin board where you post links to other things on the internet. Millions of other people will then have access to this link and have the ability to post their own comments on your content. You can also “upvote” or “downvote” submissions, sending them closer to the front page where they will be seen by millions, or down to the depths of the internet where few dare to venture.

The real time-sink aspect of the site involves browsing page after page of links to the best funny pictures and videos the web has to offer. Allowing oneself to click just one more can often result in an hours-long spree during which users become unaware of the passage of time.

Procrastinating is not a laughing matter. Just kidding, it totally is. In fact, if it wasn’t, this would probably be a very awkward column to read. I include specific time in my study hours to account for my tendency to procrastinate. The occasional visit to ESPN.com to read about the Niners and browsing online shopping ads to buy my Dad some blu-rays for Christmas are as essential to my learning experience as the books I’m supposed to be reading. By factoring in a few minutes of distraction, I keep my attention span going just long enough to scrape out a final page on the essay I have nothing left to say about.

If you are working now but have a hard time procrastinating, contact AARON WEISS at atweiss@ucdavis.edu. Congratulations, you just procrastinated!