Woodstock’s Pizza knows how to work the system. It’s conveniently located across the way from the popular G Street Pub and can be accessed until 2 a.m. on a weekend night. And on these special nights, the smell of pizza wafts all the way across to the Ace Hardware parking lot, where drunken students stumble around like toddlers in a playpen. It’s awesome.

It’s kind of like that Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland where they tell you, “Do not look into the eyes of Mara.” DO NOT INHALE THE WHIFF OF WOODSTOCK’S. I openly admit that I do it every freaking time. And odds are you do, too.

If you inhale the whiff of Woodstock’s, you are destined to become one of the drunken undergrads jaywalking toward the pizza you are doomed to consume. The whiff is THAT powerful. In fact, I have a theory. Woodstock’s has installed large fans in secret locations on the restaurant’s roof to intensify the aroma. I have no proof of this other than my repeated drunk pizza-eating, so don’t take my word on that. But it’s the only thing that makes sense anymore.

Don’t think sobriety can help you elude the curse either, because it won’t. Saturday night was a Woodstock’s milestone in my life. I soberly managed to eat more Woodstock’s than I had on the most belligerent of nights. One slice soon became two slices. That was only as an appetizer to my final order of an 8-inch CinnaBread pizza. I was on a roll. A cinnamon roll? Okay, that was lame.

Despite the well-deserved indigestion, my sober Woodstock’s visit had its perks. I was able to see UC Davis students in all their drunken glory. And man, were they glorious.

They lumbered in one by one. Or sometimes in packs, like zombies. Hungry zombies. Zombies that didn’t want to eat people, but cheese. And meat. And red sauce. When you really think about it, it’s almost just as gory.

I witnessed a girl trip over absolutely nothing and almost burst into tears when her pizza slice fell on its face. To be fair, I probably would have, too. But to be even fairer, I probably would have eaten it anyway.

Next, I watched a boy spit game at some girl while downing some Pepsi and his pepperoni. Unfortunately, the pizza grease was steadily dripping onto the front of his pants. And with that grease, any chances he had to impress her were dripping away, too.

The most entertaining aspect of being sober at a restaurant full of drunk people, however, is observing the people you know are going to hook up. There was a guy in line awkwardly rubbing a girl’s back while she was trying to order. I witnessed his hand slip to the butt a few times, but it was quickly removed and played off as an accident.

As the girl finished her order, the guy stepped in at the last minute and paid for her in his final attempt to seal the deal. Finally, they went to some not-so-intimate table (because nothing about Woodstock’s is intimate) to eat their pizza and probably confirm that they knew each other’s first names. I observed this mating ritual at least three times that night. All the more reason for the ladies to beware of the whiff.

All of this free entertainment may have you wondering why anyone should steer clear of Woodstock’s. The pizza is tasty, its location is prime and I like to think it’s reasonably priced. Well, I’m merely trying to spare you the despair of drunkenly dropping your food, grease-staining your pants, settling for some gross hook-up or clogging your arteries.

If you think you can handle these potential consequences, by all means, eat up! If not, beware the whiff and go pass out at home before something terrible happens to you.

AMANDA HARDWICK is never paying $9 to see a movie again, because she can just go to Woodstock’s for free. Wanna join? E-mail her at aghardwick@ucdavis.edu.

It’s easy to injure a knee. If a football player has his cleats planted solidly in the turf and gets tackled from the side – BOOM! Knee injury. The knee is shoved one way, but the foot doesn’t move.

When you play sports, cartilage wedges (called menisci) in your knees absorb the shocks of each step, jump and tackle. Cartilage is built to take abuse, but if a tackle from the side hits the knee just right, the meniscus can tear.

It’s easy to injure a knee, but it’s difficult to fix one. A torn meniscus is the number one reason football players go in for surgery. Doctors can stitch up small tears, remove the meniscus or replace the knee with a metal or plastic joint. Unfortunately, removing the meniscus (meniscectomy) can lead to bone damage and a decreased range of motion, and joint replacements only last 10 to 15 years.

Dr. Kyriacos Athanasiou, a professor at UC Davis and chair of the department of biomedical engineering, is working on a way to grow cartilage in his lab and turn it into a permanent solution for meniscus injuries.

Athanasiou’s research is important because cartilage, unlike muscle or bone, can’t repair itself. Athanasiou said there are two reasons why cartilage doesn’t have a healing response. First, cartilage is white, which means there is no blood running through the tissue.

“If you don’t have blood, that means you’re not going to have nutrients or stem cells in the tissue,” Athanasiou said.

Nutrients are the fuel for tissue repair, and stem cells are the building supplies. Without blood in the tissue, there are no materials available for the healing process.

The second reason cartilage can’t heal itself is that cartilage cells are spaced far apart in the tissue. The cells are held together by collagen that forms an “extracellular matrix.” Athanasiou said the distance between cells limits their communication – cells can’t mount a healing response if they can’t communicate that tissue is damaged.

“If those cells are completely oblivious to what is going on around them, then they can’t respond,” Athanasiou said.

Athanasiou said to imagine a person at the Medical Sciences complex trying to yell a message to someone at the Silo – a big communication problem.

The National Football League recently gave Athanasiou’s research group a $125,000 grant to study new forms of knee repair. The grant is one of many that fund Athanasiou’s research into biological methods of meniscus replacement.

Athanasiou’s team has found a way to grow cartilage in the laboratory using stem cells and special kinds of skin cells. There are not a lot of all-purpose cells in the human body, so Athanasiou must make copies of the cells.

“We take that small number of cells, multiply them and convert them into cartilage,” Athanasiou said.

To convert cells into cartilage, the all-purpose cells are prodded through chemical and mechanical means to form “cartilage-like” tissue. The new cartilage is grown into meniscus shapes using special molds.

It will be years before Athanasiou’s lab-made menisci end up in human knees. Once the lab research is complete, the tissue will be tested in small animals like mice or rabbits and then large animals like goats or sheep. Then there will be a clinical study using the cartilage in humans. The entire process takes time and lots of money, but eventually, Athanasiou hopes to get FDA approval for his discovery.

Someday, surgeons may implant cartilage grown from stem and skin cells into an NFL player’s knee and send him back to the field. Athanasiou is excited to be part of that process.

“Joints are so pivotal – no pun intended – in everything we do,” Athanasiou said.

MADELINE MCCURRY-SCHMIDT dislocated her left kneecap in high school P.E. It was a horrible experience, until the paramedics arrived with morphine. Send her column ideas at memschmidt@ucdavis.edu.

Aside from freezing your butts off, I hope all of you had a pleasant entry to the next 10 weeks of your college career. And for all you seniors, let the countdown begin!

For the past three years and one quarter, I have been proud to be an Aggie. I have had some pretty great times in those 30 months or so. But one thing I’ve wanted to do before graduation just hasn’t happened yet. And what is it, you ask? Doing it on campus, specifically at the all-mighty Death Star. (That’s the Social Sciences and Humanities Building, in case you’re a freshman.)

Some brave souls, however, have had the chance to mark their territory on some campus and Davis landmarks.

Let’s start with the library. It’s a place where people do research and read books. Imagine that. But it’s also a place where two people can get their mack on in an elevator. This elevator is placed in a conspicuous location – toward the back of the building – so stopping it is no problem. I’ve been in this elevator, but didn’t have the opportunity to learn its true potential.

Then there is the Death Star itself. According to Davis Wiki, the building was created to be a metaphor for California’s geography. To me, it’s an architectural maze that looks so appealing to the sexually-active.

One friend of mine fulfilled my desire one rainy Halloween night and conquered the maze of classrooms and offices. She and her boyfriend were bored at the frat party they were attending. The lovebirds decided to spice up their night and find a place on campus to appease their sex drives.

After wandering for a while, they almost gave up until they came to the Death Star. Because the place is so confusing, they figured no one would be able to find them – or see them. Unfortunately, they both got sick from being out in the rain for hours.

Are you more of a nature-loving person? Maybe the Arboretum is the place for you. With the beautiful trees and waterway, it’s a great setting for a romantic evening. The gazebo, located at the west end, is known for its peacefulness. If you and your honey want to do some stargazing or some body grazing, you may want to include a trip to the arboretum in your weekend plans.

For those of you who think doing it on campus is elementary, maybe a trip to The Dominoes, located on the Senda Nueva Greenbelt in North Davis, would be more up your alley. What sounds better than doing it on larger-than-life dominoes that can be seen from some backyards? Nothing.

I had no idea these existed until one UC Davis alumnus shared his story. He told me when you have a girlfriend or boyfriend in Davis, it can be difficult to keep the relationship exciting. So one evening, they decided to find these dominoes and have some fun. Their night was a success – and the dominoes are still standing!

If you’re feeling really adventurous, like my roommate was, you could just find a random pole at a random park for a quickie. She and her boyfriend seem to live for the thrill. They found themselves running away from some folks on a night stroll. I suppose if you’re as daring as these two, know you may be spotted – with or without your pants on.

College is an exciting part of life. If you’re here for the adventure, then take advantage of all it has to offer. Even if it means climbing a water tower with a new crush or magically appearing in the aquatic center for a dip in the hot tub.

ERICA BETNUN loves three-day weekends! How will you be celebrating? Let her know at elbetnun@ucdavis.edu.

Even people who don’t follow politics are subject to its consequences. This becomes far more apparent when times are bad than when times are good.

For students there are higher fees and mounting debts. For graduates and the unemployed there is an uncertain and barren job market. For business owners there is the challenge of maintaining it and keeping it profitable while dealing with great amounts of uncertainty.

The common theme is that we are experiencing a recession. People are hurting, so it is understandable that there’s a great desire to fix our situation by any means necessary.

There are a number of ways to fix the state’s budget, some of which would do more harm than good.

For instance, The Associated Press released a story last week about new traffic lights in California. They would be placed all around the state and would detect both red light runners and speeders.

Depending on your point of view this could be a good thing or a bad thing. Obviously there are laws against speeding that are designed to protect the general population and it is assumed that these laws would be enforced. On the other hand there is a natural tendency to be repulsed by a system that becomes too intrusive and allows “Big Brother” to watch you at all times.

My main problem with the report was neither of these complaints, it was the reasoning used by lawmakers to implement these traffic light cameras. The report stated, “The state would collect 85 percent of the money, using the projected $338 million to help pay for courts and court security as it scrapes for money to close a $20 billion deficit.” The spokesperson for the Department of Finance, H.D. Palmer, said, “If the revenues come in below our conservative projections, then so much the better for public safety.”

The problem with this statement is that it is the only reference to public safety, and it is not coming from a scientist or expert. The main concern of the Department of Finance is not public safety; it deals only in the financial concerns of the state.

So the ultimate reasoning behind making these laws is not the general welfare of California citizens, but merely a new revenue stream.

Is this what we want from our state government? Is it an entity that operates to sustain and preserve itself?

While I am pleased with the state government’s honesty, I am disturbed by the way they acknowledged their reasoning so openly.

There seems to be a lack of evidence that this kind of action is necessary. Automobile accidents cause many deaths and fatalities each year, but I am not convinced that speeding through intersections is one of the leading causes. Furthermore, most people know where these cameras are and simply continue reckless behavior once they have passed through.

Perhaps one of the greatest questions that our state and perhaps our nation faces is the citizen’s relation to government.

While the placement of traffic lights and the reasoning behind it may seem trivial and unimportant in the grand scheme of things, it underscores the general mentality of our government. Using the resources and money of the people for the government’s own benefit instead of the people could easily extend to other areas beyond traffic citations.

Fixing the state’s budget is a serious problem and should be treated as such. What can’t be lost is that ultimately someone will have to pay for it. We should naturally want to get the most out of what we pay for.

If lawmakers cease to serve the public’s interest and impose unnecessary rules to support themselves, then perhaps we need to find new ways to limit their power.

JARRETT STEPMAN is actually a very slow driver and has never had a speeding ticket. If you don’t believe him or want to send him a comment you can reach him at jstepman@ucdavis.edu.