“A mile a day keeps the doctor away.” That’s an old proverb I just made up.

America is one of the richest countries in the world. It’s one of the fattest countries in the world as well.

Look to the person on your right. Look to the person on your left. One of you three should be obese. According to the Center for Disease Control, 33 percent of Americans are obese.

A map of the United States with obesity statistics from HealthyAmericans.org shows that Colorado has the fewest obese adults (19 percent). Mississippi takes the lead, with 45 percent of the state’s population suffering obesity. California is in the middle at 24 percent.

The state with the least amount of obese people has nearly 20 percent obesity.

I don’t know what it takes to become obese or to have an entire society become obese, but there are ways to avoid gaining weight without starving yourself or over exercising.

Now, I’m no expert, but I think there are some common sense things that are easy enough to incorporate into our lifestyles.

When moving to college, most of us are left to fend for ourselves in terms of food. The easiest thing to do is get in line at In-N-Out and order a delicious animal-style double-double with fresh fries and a chocolate shake.

But there are other equally delicious foods that are not only cheaper, but a lot healthier as well.

Buying groceries can seriously help manage your budget, and there are a lot of easy recipes out there that are also healthy for you. Get a low-budget cookbook. Believe it or not, a lot of meals can be made within 20 or 30 minutes. If you think about it, that’s just as long as you’ll be waiting in line for that double-double.

When you cook for yourself, you can eat exactly what you want without asking anyone for favors.

Along with eating healthy, we should also be exercising. The most motivating thing for me to get up and go to the ARC is the fact that we pay for it with student fees anyway.

If you can’t get to the gym for any reason, there are really easy and simple things that you can do just to get some exercise in. Walk instead of taking the bus or driving. Ride your bike to nowhere in particular. Wrestle your best friend once a week. Even just taking your dog out for a walk might be really rewarding. Try dancing in your underwear until you work up a sweat. Have sex more often. The possibilities are endless.

Between studying, working, being lazy and eating junk food, we can all get a little sluggish. Doing simple things like making pasta at home or riding your bike can really make a difference – both for your health and for your wallet.

It’s a new year. We all make resolutions we hardly keep. The easiest thing to do would be to take baby steps. (Literally!)

SARA KOHGADAI is attempting to live healthier and longer by making small changes in her life. If you have any other ideas, please contact her at sbkohgadai@ucdavis.edu.

Writer’s block is a real bitch, let me tell you. The last time I was genuinely creative was when I made a model house built entirely of restaurant-style Tostitos and Que Bueno! cheese.

Bear Gryll’s arch-nemesis is Lion Stove.

I went to the Lego store in Arden Fair Mall (to get a limited edition Lego chef who has a piece of chicken the size of his head) and got more dirty looks from suburban moms than that one time I celebrated my 18th birthday at Chuck E. Cheese’s.

In the third grade I used to call people “butt-missile” if I wanted to insult them. Instead of warheads, I envisioned a world where smooth, taught buttocks would descend from the heavens and destroy all that is holy. To this day, when I insult people, I’m usually content with leaving them perplexed.

I was always the kid who had the obese Tamagotchi.

Jennifer Beeman, the former director of the Campus Violence Prevention Program who inflated rape numbers and embezzled a shitload of money, has a Facebook profile. As of last week, it’s a picture of her FarmVille with a massive American flag strewn across her lawn. So that’s what she was doing all day.

Professor Oak in Pokémon Red/Blue has an actual set of Pokémon coded that was left over and never exploited. He’s got a Tauros, Exxegutor, Arcanine, Gyrados and a starter opposite yours. All of his Pokémon are in the upper 60s. I always knew Professor Oak was a badass.

My friend Matthew Ong has been playing this game called “Trine” where you’re a wizard who draws squares that turn into treasure chests. Man … I wish I was that kind of wizard. I’d be rich as fuck.

My New Year’s resolution is to dress like a hipster. Implicit in that resolution is to not be obese so I can fit into skinny jeans because I don’t think they have size 44 Lucky Jeans. My first order of business, however, is getting horn-rimmed Ray Ban prescription glasses. Apparently, the “trapezoidal” Ray Ban’s convey an air of “danger” and “manliness.” I think they just convey a sense of asshole hipster, but who am I to talk?

One time in eighth grade my dumbass Social studies teacher singled me out in front of the entire class for double-dipping Alan Keegan’s Civil War-era cracker and jelly concoction. I almost cried in front of the class. Fuck you, Mrs. Marks. And fuck your stupid recipe assignment. You’re a horrible teacher. And you’re fat as fuck. You should stop quadruple-dipping.

I was watching “Dr. Phil” one day and there was this male chauvinist whose name was “Dick Masterson.” I then proceeded to envision his evil nemesis: Pussy Apprenticedaughter.

I was sitting next to this short girl in SciLec during the last o-chem lecture this past fall quarter. I was, as usual, breathless because the desk juts directly into my rather large abdomen. But that’s not the joke. This girl starts texting her friend the most mean, hurtful shit I’ve ever seen written about me since I was like in sixth grade. She tried to hide it, but I was luckily taller than four feet, so it was easy for me to see what she was typing.

Her first message to her friend: “There’s this really fat guy sitting next to me with huge elbows and I can’t breathe.” What does that even mean? Huge elbows? How the fuck can somebody have huge elbows?! Then her second text was killer: “This dude also smells really badly … somebody please save me.” Ouch. No comment on the smelling. Regardless, I had this undeniable urge to write a note to her that said, “Hey, thanks for insulting me. My grandmother just died today, and your little messages were just the cherry on top of my day.” Instead, I just went home and cried myself to sleep with Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” playing on loop.

If you’ve got nothing to do at 8:30 a.m. this Friday, then listen to DAVE KARIMI’s interview on KDVS with The Aggie’s own Jeremy Ogul for some big guffaws. Or, if you still think he’s a racist, you can e-mail him at dkarimi@ucdavis.edu.

Jennifer Beeman, former director of the Campus Violence Prevention Program, severely inflated the number of forcible sex offenses that occurred on the UC Davis campus. In October, university officials said Beeman’s reasoning for the over-reported statistics was irrelevant.

“We have not talked to [Beeman] because there’s no need to find out why they are inaccurate,” said Mitchel Benson, assistant vice chancellor for university communications.

We didn’t agree, writing in an Oct. 6 editorial that it was the university’s responsibility to find out whether Beeman’s actions were benign or an indicator of more serious problems.

Apparently, the administration now feels the same way – thanks to a new set of allegations against Beeman.

Beeman told a co-worker that the money intended for Take Back the Night, an annual CVPP event, may have been used to pay her home mortgage.

Auditors found Beeman had withdrawn $5,400 of the approximately $12,000 allotted to the event for personal use. Additionally, Beeman once paid Granate Sosnoff roughly $540,000 to develop an anti-violence guide that was never completed.

The university’s decision to pursue possible criminal charges against Beeman is necessary.

If the UC Davis Police Department doesn’t complete the investigation, the federal government may get involved. That could mean a lawsuit against the university as well as a retraction of over $1 million in grants received from the U.S. Department of Justice’s Office on Violence Against Women since 2005.

Sounds like means for an investigation after all.

Over 4 million people in California are considered eligible for the federal government’s Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program -better known as food stamps – yet only 48 percent choose to seek benefits.

A new study commissioned by California Food Policy Advocates, a statewide advocacy organization, shows that low program participation can have deeper effects than failing to reach over half the state’s hungry population. The study, which details the economic costs to California’s low participation in the federal program, shows that Yolo County alone is missing out on $24,024,718 in federal benefits. This is equivalent to a potential $44,205,482 stimulus to our local economy.

Not only is it unacceptable to have millions go hungry in the richest country in the world, but in these hard economic times, every resource to stimulate the market should be pursued. The fault lies with the bureaucratic system that prevents them from receiving benefits, not with low-income families underutilizing food stamps.

California’s exceptionally cumbersome process for proving eligibility for assistance is the root cause of the state ranking last in the nation for program participation, according to the report. Poor working families must jump through a series of hoops including extensive asset tests, in-person interviews and fingerprinting. The process requires a high level of commitment in both time and effort – something people struggling to get by on hourly wages rarely have.

There are a number of logical reforms that could cut down on the red tape and increase participation. The study recommends allowing online or phone interviews in place of in-person appointments as well as simplifying the asset reporting process. California has one of the most bureaucratic systems in the country. It is the only state that makes each recipient go through the process again every three months. Moving to a six month reporting system would simplify the process for recipients, cut down on administrative errors and decrease the burden on county food stamp offices.

With an issue as fundamental as hunger in America, the system should work with the needy, not against them. The fact that every dollar spent on food stamps generates $1.84 in economic activity only underscores how imperative it is that the government eliminate unnecessary barriers for low income families to eat.

“Because our future economic well being is so dependent on education, …we can no longer afford to cut higher education.” Those words were spoken by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger last week during his annual State of the State address. In the context of deep and painful cuts to so many valuable programs, the Governor’s budget proposal was a win for higher education, which saw baseline funding mostly protected and even modest enrollment growth provided for.

The Governor’s emphasis of the link between education and prosperity is accurate. A college degree increases an individual’s expected lifetime earnings by more than $1 million, improves their employability and puts a satisfying and socially valuable career within their reach.

Ninety percent of the fastest growing job categories now require a post-secondary education. California’s public higher education system – especially our community colleges with their open access policies – opens the doors of higher learning to millions of students. Industrious Californians have used this opportunity well. Thanks largely to its highly educated workforce, California has become a leader that other states look to for innovative technology, solutions to environmental problems, arts and culture.

In the current economic climate, it would be comforting to know we still have this ace up our sleeve. Unfortunately, our competitive advantage is vanishing. Think tanks estimate that California needs about 55-60 percent of our population college educated to compete economically with other states and nations in 2025. We expect to be at about 43 percent – millions of degrees less than we need to even meet our own requirements for skilled workers.

Graduates from our 110 community colleges could be a big part of the solution, using their skills and knowledge to boost our economy. However, only 24 percent of community college students who currently intend to earn an associate’s degree or transfer to a four-year school are successful in doing so within six years. This is very troubling. We simply can’t afford for so many community college students to fall through the cracks.

One thing that could help more students succeed is more time to study. It’s well known that community college fees are low. Less well known, however, is that fees comprise only about 5 percent of the total cost of attendance. So to make ends meet, most community college students work. A recent CalPIRG survey found that students worked an average of 23 hours per week, leaving themselves too little time to focus on academics. This is no small problem, when three out of five community college students are under prepared to attend a university and need remediation. They have to focus on academics if they are to succeed.

To buy back some of those work hours for study, community college students need more financial aid. Part of the solution is to simply increase the numbers of students who apply, by making sure that all students understand the basics of financial aid and have the help they need to navigate the process. But part of the solution is also maintaining robust funding for those programs. In this respect, the Governor’s budget, which suspends all new competitive Cal Grants, was troubling. These grants are already limited in number. Last year, 245,400 qualified applicants competed for 22,500 grants (9 percent). These are also the only Cal Grants available for students more than one year out of school. Previous analysis indicates that recipients of competitive grants have lower incomes and higher grades than other Cal Grant recipients.

Of course, community college students face many challenges in getting to graduation, but working so hard that they can’t make the grade academically should not be one of them. Why set students up for failure when so much is riding on their success?

To learn more about CalPIRG’s Getting to Graduation campaign, visit www.calpirgstudents.org/graduation-app/stories.