About 400 people expecting to go to an E-40 concert at Theta Xi were disappointed late last month when the concert was abruptly cancelled without explanation. Ticketholders had to learn by word of mouth that not only was the concert cancelled, but also they would not be able to obtain refunds for the tickets, which cost at least $20 each.

As Theta Xi has been very uncommunicative with ticketholders during this debacle, a natural instinct would be to blame the fraternity. It turns out, however, that it’s really the event promoter, 6 trees, which is responsible for the concert being cancelled. The event promoter was charged with securing the noise permit from the city of Davis but misrepresented the event to the police and the permit was subsequently revoked. Furthermore, Theta Xi has no control over the funds from the ticket sales. The PayPal account linked to the money is in the name of the event promoter.

While Theta Xi isn’t at fault for the concert’s cancellation, the fraternity should have done more to communicate with ticketholders. By associating their name with this event, the fraternity gave the impression they were in charge. Perception is important. At fault or not, students will be hesitant in the future to purchase tickets to a Theta Xi event. The fraternity should have spoken to ticketholders directly and acted as an advocate for them in getting refunds, instead of staying quiet.

The event promoter’s threats to sue Theta Xi for breach of contract are ridiculous. After the promoter failed to secure a noise permit, it’s unreasonable to expect the fraternity to continue with the concert. While the promoter may be out thousands of nonrefundable dollars, that’s the risk they take in their chosen business. They should have gotten insurance, or better yet, followed through on the task of ensuring the noise permit.

There’s something about the month of May that brings out the crazies. Take a second and look around, listen to what the people around you are talking about, and really think about it. It wouldn’t surprise me if after a while you started to think that all the pretty colors and pleasant aromas wafting off the freshly bloomed “May flowers” have forced them to repress the few rational thoughts their mind is capable of producing, and throw intelligence to the wind.

I normally go out of my way to avoid May’s antics, figuring it’s better to avoid stupidity rather than meet it head on. However, last week, this wave of irrationality brutishly forced its way into my life and made one thing clear – the May crazies can no longer be ignored.

Imagine, if you will, that you’ve decided to be a responsible student and set aside some time in your day to catch up on your ever-increasing amount of assigned reading. You’ve voluntarily come to campus on a Friday, gotten a nice big cup of coffee and made your way into Kings Lounge for a few hours of quiet study.

Things are going great when suddenly, in the distance, you hear the sound of angry voices shouting in unison. As the voices draw closer your eyes drift down to the date displayed on your laptop screen. You start packing up your things, realizing that your attempts to continue on reading will be futile. It’s May Day, a fact that you won’t be able to ignore for much longer.

Within moments, the previously quiet study lounge has been filled with dozens of raucous protesters, holding up signs displaying “Fuck the Police” and several messages about the Zapatistas in Mexico, all following the lead of a megaphone wielding organizer screeching out stereotypical rally chants into the device. You attempt to ask one of the protesters what’s going on, but get no response. All you can gather is that May Day, also known as International Workers‘ Day, has apparently gotten these students riled up to the point of throwing temper tantrums inside the Memorial Union.

Before long the crowd disperses, going forth to other areas of the MU just as nosily and offensive as they have come. This is when the real irony of the situation hits. Despite a lounge full of UC Davis students expressing their displeasure with the interruption, the crowd has the audacity to chant “Whose university? Our university.“

Anyone who has read my column before can probably guess that I’m not a big fan of protests. In fact, if you remember correctly, it was this columnist who pointed out the flaw in Lieutenant Governor John Garamendi saying that students should “rise up and raise hell” if they want to see positive change for the UC system.

Honestly, is this really the way our society expects young people to get what they want? Are we really saying that if you don’t like something all you need to do is kick and scream like and infant until someone pays attention? I’d like to think not.

This May Day protest, like all other protests, places all its hopes for success behind one method – hijacking the personal space of others.

If anyone who participated in last Friday’s protests is reading, pay attention, this next part is for you. All I learned from this International Workers‘ Day flash mobbing was that not a single person in that crowd was willing to sit down and have an intelligent discussion about whatever it is they were fighting for. In fact, they weren’t even able to present their arguments in a manner that would allow me to answer the question of “Why should I care?”

Instead they stuck to the “tried and true” method of invading the personal space of those around them, raising their voices to the point that they think is impossible to ignore any longer. Well, I hate to burst bubbles, but after watching this mob storm two crowded MU areas, I still have no idea what you were fighting for.

Perhaps next time you wish to spread the word about a cause you should sit down at a table and discuss you views, as opposed to climbing on top of one and shouting them at me through a megaphone.

JAMES NOONAN does want to make these protesters think they’ve failed completely. I mean, he still hasn’t finished any of that reading. Feel free to vent your views at jjnoonan@ucdavis.edu.

Now that May marks my last full month of writing for The Aggie, expect this column and perhaps one or two more to be filed under the “Sentimental Thoughts of an Impending Graduate/Retiring Columnist” folder. Although I know this might seem early because I have a couple of weeks to spare before the end is near, I figured I’d spread the nostalgia around and not subject you minions to three consecutive weeks of my sudden wistfulness for my undergraduate years.

I am ashamed to admit that it took me a while to enjoy our little quaint town of Davis. I came from the semi-bustling town of San Jose and I ended up going here because I got turned away from Berkeley and Los Angeles (yeah, ouch). Since I thought that a fast-paced metropolitan city was the best environment for me and I bought into the rumors that Davis was slow, came with nothing to do and smelled like cows, I was convinced my affections would never roll around (what a fool I was).

But now you must forgive my naiveté because all I want to do is give Davis a big hug and my gratitude because it’s quite the awesome place. In fact, I believe it’s the only town where within one night, you can find parking on a sidewalk for free, walk to an ATM to get cash, walk to a bar to get drunk, walk to a Jack in the Box to get food and sober up, not be mugged this entire time and then drive back home with no one to answer to.

Given, because I want to always think back on Davis fondly, I don’t want to be here forever for fear of getting sick of it. Sort of like how Vegas is called the “48 Hour City,” because if you stayed any longer, all you’d want to do is shoot your eyes out and GTFO.

So here’s my toast to you, Davis, where my four years here have left me wondering how many papers I’ve written, how many cute guys have refused to talk to me and how many STDs I have given out as midnight surprises (I’m estimating about 78 in each category).

Not only am I thankful to you for housing my entire college experience and all that entails (living without the parents, meeting new people, going out, etc.), you’ve also served as my personal sanctuary when things were getting a little too heavy at home.

I am also grateful that you revolve around my academic schedule. Indeed, I can go buy groceries and a Safeway cashier (whom I’ve never met before), will wish me good luck on my midterms, or a bus driver will tell me to have a great first day of school as if he were my father himself, incognito. And just as you are as quiet as I need you to be during finals, you also have your few magic nights throughout the year when everyone in town will want to get as “hip wit‘ it” as me (i.e.: The first Thursday of a new quarter, the last Friday before Spring Break).

Let us also not forget the magic that is Picnic Day. That one orgasmic day of the year when the whole town begins to buzz, the buses are literally shaking and chanting with anticipation the day of, and no one gets to judge you for drinking in public (and even if you are being drunkenly obnoxious, a genuine “Happy Picnic Day!” will usually allow others to forgive you). And to those who think it is overrated, fear not. You probably just celebrated it incorrectly (ahem, freshmen) and you should try it differently next year.

And bless thy mean cuisine: for your average-tasting pho restaurant that holds a monopoly over every homesick Vietnamese student; for your easy-to-miss hotdog stand that tastes so good, I never question the $5 I happily fork over every time; for your handful of delicious Thai restaurants that I can never get enough of (but seriously, why are there so many?!); and for your tasty Chipotle burritos that are so big, they make me feel like I’m eating a small baby.

Lastly, I am incredibly indebted that you have provided me with a newspaper that is not only powered by such amazingly talented people who somehow liked my opinion enough to hire me, but also with a great readership who for some fortunate reason, allows this romantically-doomed-but-never-too-jaded girl to spill her heart out (not to mention her frustrations and absolutely useless observations) every week. For this, I cannot thank you enough.

LYNN LA is bummed because she can’t remember where that one tire swing that was tied to that one tree over that one lake near Davis was and she doesn’t want to leave this town without bringing her friends there. If you know where it is, please oh please e-mail her at ldla@ucdavis.edu.

People often complain that no one in college dates and after donning my thinking cap and pondering the question, I have concluded it is simply because nobody knows how. But fear not, my romantically challenged compadres, because I am here to enlighten you.

What is a “date“?

Think about what the ultimate goal of a “date” is. And no, it’s not just to get laid. If that’s all you’re interested in, then this advice isn’t for you.

The definition of a date can mean different things to different people. Sorry, gentlemen, but blacking out at Froggy’s over a pitcher of Blue Moon is not a date; having long-winded drunken conversations is not the same as getting to know her, and being romantic is not measured in terms of how many extra orange slices you steal for her when the bartender isn’t looking.

But at the same time, a date doesn’t have to be dressing up all fancy shmancy and taking her out to a $75-a-plate dinner either.

For you, the romantically challenged male college student, a date should fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

After all, the point of dating is to get to know someone better, to determine if you’re right for one another, and learn if there is potential to develop a meaningful romantic relationship. A “date” is simply anything that facilitates this end.

Where to take her?

This is where you get to be creative, but don’t get too fancy too early on. Start with something simple; a low-pressure activity like going to Yoloberry (it’s been scientifically proven a girl will never say no to a Yoloberry date) or lunch at the Coho.

But some girls might not consider these low-pressure outings to be “real” dates, so if you want to move the relationship forward, then you’re going to have to sack up and ask her to dinner.

How to execute the perfect dinner date

Okay, so you asked her to dinner and she said yes. As you drive to pick her up, you realize you have no idea what you are doing. Well, here are some things to keep in mind to help you have a successful “real” date:

First, assume she is into you. In other words, be confident because no amount of expensive cologne can hide low self-esteem from a girl. She didn’t agree to go on a date with you because she thought you’re a gooberific pimple of a person and if you act like you like you, she will also like you. Girls are attracted to confidence, but don’t be cocky because that just makes you a toolbag. And nobody likes a toolbag.

Second, be a gentleman. This means opening doors, offering her your jacket if she’s cold, and paying for dinner, just to name a few. You might be worried some girls will think this to be a sexist affirmation of gender inequality, but 99 percent of girls will be impressed by traditional gentlemanly behavior.

Third, make use of body language. This doesn’t mean trying to hold her hand right away, but making subtle physical gestures like touching her hand or on her back when it’s appropriate amidst the conversation. Humans are physical beings and don’t underestimate the power of touch to ignite the spark of emotion.

Fourth, stay focused on her. Be aware of your body language because for girls this is more important than what you actually say. Have good posture when you sit and maintain eye contact when she speaks to you. Also, I know it’s getting hot outside, but be sure not to check out every scantily-clad coed that walks by because your date will notice and immediately think you’re a toolbag.

Fifth, listen. This is a surprisingly difficult thing for guys to do, but it’s the easiest way to make a girl fall for you. I’m not saying to pretend to be interested in what she is saying, but to actually be interested in what she is saying. Engage her in real conversation that allows both of you to get to know one another better. The more interest you show in what she has to say, the more interested she will be in what you have to say.

The most important thing to keep in mind is, as corny as it sounds, to be yourself. You should never have to compromise who you are to make a girl like you. You know what you like, what you believe, and what you want out of life. Show her this, and if she is right for you, then she will love you for it.

MIKE HOWER has nothing against pitchers of Blue Moon or the little orange slices that go in them. If you are romantically challenged and need help, please send him a message at mahower@ucdavis.edu.

UC Davis Police Officer Ralph Nuno began patrolling the campus from the back of his bicycle last week, putting a proverbial stick through the spokes of any would-be criminal’s plans of running a stop sign or worse.

While some students have voiced the opinion that having a bike cop on campus only hassles them on their way to class, we couldn’t be happier. Officer Nuno, an extremely qualified candidate who served previously as a bike cop in Oakland, provides an important presence at the heart of campus. Having more police around to serve and protect UC Davis students is never a bad thing.

Bicyclists on campus might normally cruise on through a stop sign and be just fine, but it’s an unsafe habit to get into and having an officer around to reinforce that is a good thing. Furthermore, the Police Department should be applauded for not giving Officer Nuno a ticket quota; only actual offenders will receive tickets.

Students should be even happier to see him riding around when they realize he gives out coupons for free lunches at the Silo for good behavior (if he asks you to stop, stop!). Additionally, having an officer dedicated to enforcing bicycle safety around campus should reduce the amount of bike theft that takes place.

By enforcing bicycle regulations regarding riding while talking on a cell phone or with more than one headphone in your ears, Officer Nuno will also reduce the number of bicycle related accidents on campus. Increasing bicycle safety on campus, especially in a town so heavily populated by bicyclists, is essential and this is a step in the right direction.