When I write the word “virginity,” you won’t reach for the dictionary in confusion. The word is well-known, and most people assume they know what a virgin is: one who has not had sex.

And for many, the proof of one’s virginity lies in an intact hymen.

This assumption raises a myriad of issues. For one, it places the importance of virginity solely on the woman, the keeper of this mysterious membrane. In many societies, women are expected to retain their virginity until marriage. For men, on the other hand, this expectation is far less extreme.

The importance of an intact hymen also objectifies women who are to be married, like checking a horse’s teeth before buying it. In this case, a woman’s worth is only as good as her ability to prove that she is “pure.”

Defining virginity with the hymen also creates a very narrow (and very heteronormative) definition of sex. Many people, especially in our generation, hold the view that oral sex does not “count” in regards to virginity. But what about oral sex between two women? It seems silly to define all lesbians as virgins just because a penis isn’t involved.

Is “sex” defined as an act that induces orgasm? In this case, does one lose their virginity when they masturbate to completion? Most of the gay men I know count their virginity as “lost” when they have anal sex for the first time — but does anal sex in a heterosexual couple have the same meaning? Hardly, if the hymen remains untouched.

Virginity is a social construct, not a physical state.

But perhaps the biggest issue I have with this cultural obsession is the myth surrounding the hymen itself.

Arguably the most popular euphemism when discussing virginity is the act of “popping the cherry,” or “breaking” through the hymen. Personally, this kind of language makes me imagine stabbing through the film of a microwavable meal, or dropping an anvil on a trampoline. It’s violent, it’s nerve-wracking and it’s definite. This sort of thinking facilitates the distinction between “virgins” and “non-virgins,” erasing the gray areas I described above.

In reality, the hymen cannot be “popped” or “broken.” Hymens come in all shapes and sizes, but the most common are circular (hollow loop) and annular (half-moon shaped) membranes on the fringe of the vaginal opening. Come puberty, the increased estrogen in a woman’s body prepares her vagina for penetration by making the hymenal tissue (which has estrogen receptors) more elastic.

For the most part, penetrative sex does not break or puncture these types of hymens; instead, they stretch. Most of the anecdotal discomfort is a result of nervousness or inexperience, like rushing or not being relaxed enough to be fully turned on (which would provide more natural swelling and lubrication). In these cases, sometimes tiny tears can form in the hymen, which would cause the tell-tale bleeding.

Other, less common types of hymens can also result in more discomfort than normal. For example, some women have microperforate hymens (with only a pinhole-like opening), while select others have cribriform hymens (which have many small holes, but extend across the vaginal opening).

Even after a hymen has been stretched or torn slightly by penetration (or horseback riding, or gymnastics, or traumatic fence-jumping incidents), over time the hymenal tissue can re-form if it is left alone. Some women are even born without hymens.

In many cultures, not having hymenal “proof” of one’s virginity can be life-threatening. This has led to websites like hymenshop.com (which sells artificial hymens which leak red fluid when broken) and surgical procedures like hymenoplasty (in which the hymen is reconstructed with dissolving stitches, often advertised to “restore virginity”). Though we may not think it, U.S. culture is not immune to the hymen myth. In fact, most orders from the Hymen Shop come from the U.S.

In short, there is no definitive way to “prove” one’s virginity. This is especially true as we come to understand that it is not only our traditional understanding of sex that is antiquated, but our understanding of the hymen as well.

MARISA MASSARA wants to know your personal definition of virginity. She can be reached at mvmassara@ucdavis.edu.

Some readers might take my statements against Sam Harris, atheist author and pseudo-philosopher, as an indication that I am a theist. I am not. In fact, I take any opportunity to assault religious thought to its maximum. However, some anti-religious arguments are absurd, and much worse, others accidentally endorse extremely anti-human thought.

That second category has been skillfully, masterfully brought to a glorious apex by Harris, most of all in his recent writing on Islam. The mainstream discourse on the topic of religion, especially in regards to what is “politically correct,” is very blurry. Before excavating the blatant stupidity of Harris’ writing, it will be necessary to dispel some of the falsities built into the discourse in which he and most Americans are operating.

It is a credit to the propaganda machine of elite institutions that such confusion can exist in a society of literate people. One glaring and ridiculous mistake is that people either assume that criticizing Islam is always Islamophobic or it never is. The real answer — that some criticisms are, while others are not — is somehow never conceived.

This is at the core of many arguments. When someone calls a certain analysis Islamophobic, the automatic response is something like, “Oh, so we can’t criticize Islam, eh? You are the PC Police, blah, blah, blah…”

The trick in that response is that they force the false assumption mentioned above, that either all analyses are Islamophobic or none are. Most people aren’t quite quick enough to beat this dirty move in the heat of an exchange, so it wins.

Clearly, certain types of analysis are Islamophobic; this is beyond question. So, now that we have this stock response of Harris and his ilk out of the way, we can ask the two natural next questions — what is Islamophobia and what are the characteristics of an Islamophobic analysis, as opposed to an enlightened critique?

Both of those questions yield so much fruitful thought that I will not come close to answering them in full. But briefly sketching out what a reasonable answer might look like will show the horrors and the lack of rigor in Harris’ thinking.

Islamophobia is not merely a hatred of the religion of Islam and what it preaches. Harris, Fox News pundits and other American imperialists will insist that their hatred is merely directed at the views in the Quran, and if that is Islamophobia, then they’re happy to be Islamophobes. Their mistake is that they end up attributing barbarism to Muslims broadly, and they slip between criticizing the belief and the belief holder, probably without realizing it.

One week ago, on April 11, the UC Davis campus was disgraced by the Ayn Rand Society’s “Islamist Rising” event. A quick search on theaggie.org for “Islamist Rising” will show a list of the hate-filled, xenophobic, racist zealotry of some of our fellow students, those that put on the event. Like Harris and the Fox News pundits, they don’t know that they’re racists. They’re sure they aren’t.

By repeatedly denouncing those views as necessarily barbaric, Harris ends up saying that everyone who holds these beliefs is barbaric. Now, once again, Islam can be critiqued in a way that does not do this, but these shifts between critiques of ideas and critiques of people are the core of racism.

When he says “all civilized nations must unite in condemnation of a theology that now threatens to destabilize much of the Earth,” in his piece “The Reality of Islam,” he does imply very clearly that being a Muslim necessarily entails holding militant, terroristic views.

Furthermore, a speaker is responsible, even if he does not mean his view to be taken as hate-speech, to ensure that it will not. Even if I critique Islam in a legitimate way, it is upon me, so long as I live in such a xenophobic society as this one, to ensure that I am not legitimating Islamophobic views.

For example, if I say to an audience that Islam can be a catalyst for terrorism, in fairness I must qualify it with a statement that informs the audience that this should not lead us to believe that many Muslims support jihad or that “those people” are terrorists. Extensive polling shows that only a small fraction of Muslims support terrorism.

Glenn Greenwald, in his recent column in The Guardian, already elucidated the implicit racism espoused by Harris. But reframing the discourse is a must for any of us who are interested in challenging illegitimate power.

The real payoff for the elites is that Islamophobia legitimates murderous, criminal U.S. policies in the Middle East. This is what hate-speech towards Muslims does. It makes killing their kids with drones seem legitimate. It isn’t.

BRIAN MOEN hates religion, but he also hates racist versions of anti-religious thought. He can be reached at bkmoen@ucdavis.edu.

My folder hit the head of the gentleman in front of me with a thud. To be fair, I was attempting to save him from malaria.

I am a regular traveler on the Unitrans J-line. The other day I was sitting in my seat, looking over my transcripts to ensure I had met all my graduation requirements. The bus was packed, and I sat enraptured in my planning for a majority of the ride.

However, a sudden motion caught my eye as the bus entered a roundabout. A massive mosquito had just landed on the head of the passenger directly in front of me. I watched as the bug tucked in his wings and allowed his mud-brown legs to rest upon an unsuspecting college student’s head. I knew it would only be seconds before the young man would become a meal that would allow this large insect to subsist.

A million thoughts raced through my head as I contemplated my course of action. Should I ignore the insect? Would I allow this gentleman to contract malaria or West Nile virus? This was unfathomable. Yes, I know malaria isn’t really present in the United States. Still, I was concerned.

I could swat away the creature, but that would leave other bus passengers in danger. I could attempt to warn the passenger and ask permission to touch his head, but there just was not time for this. In my mind, this was a life or death situation and I had a nanosecond to make a choice.

I decided I was going in for the kill. I raised my manila folder and sent it swooshing towards this stranger’s head without warning. My folder hit the young man’s black hair and the mosquito with force.

The traveler turned around and stared at me. Although I don’t encourage judging people on their appearances, from what I could gather, this young man was a relatively shy, studious individual. He looked at me quizzically, as I suppose anyone who had just been hit on the head by a stranger would. I replied, “There was a mosquito on your head. But don’t worry, I gots it.” Apparently I was under the impression that more informal speaking, in the form of improper grammar, would ease the tension.

The gentleman replied, “Oh, thanks,” though I questioned the sincerity of that statement. As he said that, another motion caught my eye. I hadn’t done away with the creature! Again, my duty to be a good citizen forced me into action. I screamed, “Oh I don’t gots it!”

At this point, a majority of the bus passengers in my section were watching the encounter. Apparently, swift movement and loud exclamations are a good way to garner attention while on a bus. I stared as the mosquito landed on the window next to me.

With all the swiftness of a lioness going after an antelope, my manila folder hit the mosquito, crushing it against the window pane. To all the mosquito-lovers out there, I would like to formally apologize. I did it for the greater good. Someone has to protect J-line passengers from malaria. I screamed, “I GOTS IT!” again — apparently when in hunting mode I automatically forget the conventions of the English language.

There is now a prominent brown smear on my human development advising folder. I view it as a battle scar, making that folder much more interesting than the rest of my files. It has served a purpose far nobler than organization.

So, to the J-line passengers who I rescued from malaria, West Nile virus and red, swollen bug bites — you’re welcome. I’ll be on the J-line the rest of the school year to help you out with your insect needs. To the sweet gentleman who I hit on the head, I apologize for startling you.

MARCI MONTANARI encourages students with questions, comments or words of praise for her courage to contact her at mcmontanari@ucdavis.edu.