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Saturday, October 23, 2021

HUMOR: First-year actually thinks he’s grabbing a hammock this quarter

JAY GELVEZON / AGGIE
JAY GELVEZON / AGGIE

Naivete underscores problem of delays and lines in hammock system

First-year Darrell Nusbaum expressed optimism Wednesday that he would actually be able to grab a hammock on a the Quad at some point this quarter. His confidence comes despite previous studies of the hammocks showing that they’re only available to lay down in when you’re not anywhere near them.

“The thing that struck me about Davis when I was looking at schools was how friendly the people are,” Nusbaum said. “I’m sure people are aware of how long they’ve been using a hammock and would be more than willing to give up a spot if they saw someone else waiting.”

Research has shown that when access to the hammocks is limited, people experience a 37 percent decline in ‘good vibes’ and an even steeper 78 percent decrease in stretching out and contentedly saying ‘ahhh.’ One solution — to squeeze two people onto one hammock — seems to be working for some students, but remains relatively uncommon, with sources citing the discomfort that comes with close proximity to another human.

The hammocks were installed on campus several years ago amid increasing demand for spaces where students could take a break from skipping class, waking up past noon and a life of unprecedented freedom from home and the strictures of professional life.

But the need for hammocks quickly exceeded the number actually available for use — six for both the west and east sides of the Quad. Long lines and delays are common and angry students say the whole system is failing.

“Like everybody on this campus, we keep a very vigorous schedule,” said one of the hammocks. “But we weren’t designed to accommodate thirty-thousand students. This is our reality.”

Despite problems, students still ranked the hammocks as the best place to take a nap in the Best of Davis 2016. The hammocks narrowly beat out the Quad, the Arboretum and former Chancellor Linda Katehi’s office.

Nusbaum personally plans to lay watch over the hammocks by sitting nearby and making his move when a space becomes available. As of press time Thursday, he was still waiting.

Written by: Eli Flesch – ekflesch@ucdavis.edu

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