An elaborate attempt to be trendy does not end well for Eleni Daniels
It’s a moderately-known fact that UC Davis has a cadaver lab, but it’s widely known that you don’t use dead bodies to be trendy on Twitter. Third-year Eleni Daniels was not around the day that important lesson was taught, and, as a result, wound up in some deep trouble. Some might say six-foot deep trouble (that’s a joke about graves because dead bodies and — nevermind).
Daniels was in class one day working with cadavers under the watchful eye of her professor. However, when the professor turned to help another student, Daniels got busy. She promptly shifted the cadaver’s arms into a pose resembling the popular “dab” dance move. She snapped a picture and posted it on Twitter, but was eventually turned in by “some snitch,” according to Daniels.
“Honestly, I think they’re just jealous they didn’t think of it first,” she said. “I really don’t see the problem.”
There are several problems. The professor of this course, Dr. Bunch, elaborated on Daniels’ indiscretion.
“First of all, it’s a dead body,” Bunch said. “I really don’t know how to clarify why that’s bad without having to use caveman terms, because it’s that simple. Second, students aren’t supposed to touch the bodies without my permission. And, finally and most importantly, the dab is sooooo 2016.”
The cadaver has refused to speak out on this subject, probably in protest. However, we asked other students around campus if they thought that the stunt was worth the cost of suspension.
“Heck no,” said Jen Peters, second-year student. “First of all, she could have easily just done a ‘Mannequin Challenge’ — it’s not like he’s going to move anyways. She wouldn’t have even had to touch the cadaver. Her vision was flawed.”
Another student believes that the whole thing was hilarious, and it seems like he was the only one. Fifth-year Matt Hunt was still giggling about the picture.
“Ha! Yeah, I don’t know why people are, like, freakin’ out or anything,” Hunt said. “It’s not like these are real or anything; they’re just movie magic. Wait, what? They’re real? Holy sh—”
In the end, it appears we can all agree that Daniels’ sense of humor might be a little flawed (and dated) in the given situation. However, she still stands by her choice.
“You guys don’t get it,” she said. “I made a caDABer.”
Written by: Olivia Luchini — firstname.lastname@example.org