Students discuss how they envision their future and the many factors that influence the decision to have children
By AMBER WARNKE — features@theaggie.org
The decision on whether to have children is a highly personal one, with some people knowing from a young age that their future includes parenthood and others coming to realize that they want to remain child-free. UC Davis students who reflect on this decision may face concerns over how their job trajectory may impact their decision to have children.
College-educated women statistically tend to have children later in life compared to women who never went to college — and women earning a master’s degree have children even later than those with a bachelor’s degree.
Having children is an incredibly complex choice, as it can be influenced not only by someone’s career path but also by expenses, family dynamics and political beliefs. The decision to not have children seems to be an increasingly popular choice, with a 2021 study showing 23% of non-parents aged 18 to 49 reported that they were not at all likely to have kids, a higher percentage than that of a few years prior.
One student who wishes to remain anonymous, a third-year Chicano studies major, faces additional factors impacting their family planning as a queer individual.
“In terms of being part of the queer community, it could sometimes feel like you cannot have children just because of the stigmas around it,” the student said. “As a queer person, I have seen a lot of queer people feel like it’s not for them because of external factors.”
Queer parents may experience additional challenges, as up to 30% of queer parents may not have the legal status of parent or guardian of at least one of their children. Despite these concerns, the student said they are excited about the family they plan to have in the future, as they are optimistic about starting a family that they can raise to value respect and human rights.
Today’s parents can often feel pressure to raise their children according to a very specific set of standards, with authoritative parenting, gentle parenting and other parenting styles dominating conversations on how to raise a child. Max Badal, a fifth-year aerospace engineering major, however, said that good parenting comes more from a place of love, understanding and effort, rather than following a specific set of recommendations that can be learned from a parenting book.
“I feel like once it happens, I’m probably gonna be thinking, ‘Oh God, what the fuck do I do, how do I take care of this thing?’” Badal said. “But I feel like people make too big a deal of the perfect parenting style — I feel like as long as you’re just a reasonably good parent, you’ll be fine.”
Kasey Baysa, a fourth-year cognitive science and linguistics double major, plans to be child-free but looks forward to being involved with her friends’ and family’s children.
“I think that we spend a lot of time not collectively raising children; I think that a child needs more than two adults to depend on,” Baysa said. “[For children to] have this intuitive sense of, ‘There are always people that can support me,’ is something that I’m really interested in continuing.”
Ren Crayton, a fourth-year global disease biology major, also plans on not having children.
“I’m having a hard time with the current political climate and also, economically, I’m not really sure if I’ll ever be in a place where I could support another human being that’s completely reliant on me,” Crayton said.
This concern is not so uncommon, with 38% of adults aged 18 to 49 who are unlikely to have children reporting that concerns over the state of the world have impacted their decision, and 26% reporting environmental concerns as a factor.
Additionally, up to 70% of pregnant people experience anxiety or stress during pregnancy, which also comes with a variety of potentially serious health risks, a statistic that could act as a deterrent for prospective parents.
Crayton also reported having concerns over carrying a life to term.
“I just don’t like the idea of having a whole other human inside me,” Crayton said.
Crayton said the decision not to have children can be difficult, and they personally reached this decision at the age of 16.
“A lot of it is having realizations about the fact that you might not be the best parent, or you might not be in the space to be a parent yet, and that can be a little sad,” Crayton said. “[But] I want to make sure that I actually get to live a life for myself before I live a life for other people.”
Regardless of the plans UC Davis students have for their future, they can know countless others have the same hopes or concerns as they do. As students go through their college careers, they face pressure to figure out what they want to accomplish, not only in their careers but also in their personal lives. While this can feel overwhelming for some, the best choice they can make is the one that is most true to them.
Written by Amber Warnke —– features@theaggie.org
