Opinion

Proposition 1A: Yes.

This initiative will unite the state, reduce fossil fuel emissions and help take the burden off of California's already notoriously over-crowded highways. Establishing high-speed rail is an unprecedented step forward in finding alternative forms of transportation for Californians. Though this is an expensive bond measure, the end result is well worth the cost.

October's winding down, the leaves are crisping, and school is kicking my ass. It's like a fat, freckled bully shoving a nerd against the wall and stealing his lunch money in third grade. My room is also littered with tissues and cough drop wrappers. I'm told that my raspy transvestite voice is sexy and that I should appreciate it. I do, though I'd rather be through with the hacking up of my lungs. Seriously, kids, do not sit next to me in class.

In a few short days, voters nationwide will be riveted to their television screens watching the ultimate chapter of the presidential race unfold. As polling places begin to close and news outlets read Tarot cards and throw chicken bones to preemptively call a victor, Americans will see their destiny reflected in a pie chart predominated with red and blue. A narrow majority of an assured record turnout will determine in whose hands our future will be entrusted. Hopes will fly high, bets will cross the table and expatriation will surely be threatened in the grand American contest we revere on an even higher plane than the Super Bowl. When the haze clears on Nov. 5, the world will awaken to the reality of a new lot of U.S. figureheads - and all the challenges they represent. By the time my next column is published, the race will have ended, so this week I would like to impart one last treatise before Judgment Day.

My little rant last week nearly cost me the Miss America pageant, so I wanted to get back on the right track this time. Back to world peace, love, holding hands and getting along. One of the first occurrences of "getting along" that I can think of in American history is the original Thanksgiving. The "O.T.," if you will.

For the third time in four years, abortion is back on the California ballot.

Under Proposition 4, physicians would be required to notify the parents of a minor seeking an abortion 48 hours prior to the procedure.

College is a time to mature. A chance to take on additional responsibilities. An opportunity to become independent.

Don't worry if that doesn't sound appealing to you.

Change. We've heard a lot about it lately. Although presidential hopefuls have advocated it since the Republic's founding, this election seems to emphasize it in an unprecedented way. We find ourselves in the midst of raging uncertainty and facing a fork in the road that will take us on two distinct paths; one leading to genuine salvation, and the other to epic ruin.

I've decided to shake things up a bit differently this Halloween. Despite all my judgments and insecurities, I'm determined to go ahead and dress up "provocatively." Alright, who am I kidding, it's just straight up skanky. I still have some reservations about it because one, I feel like I'm selling out to "the Man," and two, my body isn't at its most pristine condition as of now. Let's just say that the corset I bought probably cries little corset-tears because it might as well have been used for gift-wrapping a surfboard.

The University of California system possesses one of the most diverse and unique student populations that can be found across American college campuses. Despite their many differences, there's one thing that all UC students have in common - they've had to study hard to get where they are. Since the system's inception, potential students have known that countless hours of studying, strong SAT scores, and extracurricular involvement were all required to ensure a spot at one of the premier public universities in the country.

The experience of fulfilling this week's list item can also be referred to as "the night I learned how to drink and forgot how to walk," or, more simply, "the night I turned 21."

Get up. Go to class. Listen, take notes. Stay awake. Hour's up, time for the next class. Listen, take notes. Stay awake. Time for lunch, but not too much time, you have another class. Listen, take notes. Stay awake. Give a presentation. Go home. Change clothes, go to work. Work. Change clothes, go home. Study for quiz, work on paper. Prepare for other class. Eat dinner. Last minute reading. Bed.

Besides maverick, change, terrorist, hope and plumber, there's been one word we've heard a lot of in this campaign: taxes. And that's great, 'cause I don't want to talk about the other five.

As most of you know, our university prides itself on the vast number of amazing internships it has to offer. As a student, you have the opportunity to observe doctors in the field of your choice, work with politicians at the state capital and assist scientists with groundbreaking research. Since it is my final year at UC Davis, I made the decision to take advantage of the remarkable opportunities offered to me. I went to the Internship and Career Center, talked to an adviser and searched the Aggie job link thoroughly before coming to a vital and informed decision.

Is this guy a drunken asshole or does he sincerely believe I look like a curvier Natalie Portman? Why don't I ever meet guys who try knowing my name before we grind? Is this girl going to have sex with me or what? Let's be honest, the dating market sucks. It is an inefficient, confusing and exploited market that needs to be fixed.

Dear ladies, gents and lady-gents, I'm going to assume if you read this column last week that you deduced two things. The first is that I look like a tweaker in my picture. The second is that I'm a tad lacking in the common sense department. You see, I seem to have little of it.