If you’ve been reading my column for the past couple of weeks, you are probably a brave, intelligent and interesting person. I thank you. As a reward, I’m going to talk about one of the finest movies ever made: Paul Thomas Anderson’s 1999 Magnolia.

I cannot say enough about this movie in the narrow confines of this column. It’s a film that relies less on plot, and more on story. This distinction helps us play up the importance of the many characters and the way their lives intertwine in the course of a single day in the San Fernando Valley of Los Angeles.

In the many stories presented in this three-hour tale, there is one that gives a beautiful and sad depiction of a young boy’s coming-of-age. His name is Stanley, and he’s a boy genius whose talents are used by his father for monetary gain via a game show.

Stanley’s got it rough, but he doesn’t show it. He loves learning more than Fox News loves miseducating. He pursues knowledge in spite of ridicule and pressure from both his father and his fellow game show contestants.

Eventually, he is pushed to the brink and runs away from the show and his father, taking solace in a library. He returns only to tell his father that he needs to be nicer to him.

Actions have consequences. Magnolia shows us here that our lives are often pulled in different directions by things dependent and independent of our will. And that means we stand a fighting chance in how we choose to age.

Take Donnie Smith, former boy genius, who is portrayed as a depressed, pathetic and helpless adult. He steals from his employers and drinks away nights in the hope that something good will happen to him. In comparison, Stanley’s strength lies in that he is much more of a doing character rather than a waiting one.

When we consider the similarity that Donnie’s past has to Stanley’s life, we realize that taking actions for ourselves is of utmost importance. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to every single tide change as we grow, we’ll eventually drown. It’s a little pessimistic, but I’m a guy who thinks that not only is the cup half empty, but the other half is probably reserved for some rich kid who gives not even a single whisper of attention to your thirst.

So what do we do about the things in our lives that are out of our control? No matter how much I want to, I’ll never rule the world. So instead of being delusional, how do I cope? Magnolia makes a case for just accepting some events, like the inexplicable rain of frogs that occurs toward the end of the movie. This event, a culmination of religious motifs throughout the film, helps justify that some events are inescapable.

I tend to shy away from religious explanation, if for no other reason than I don’t like to take things on faith. It’s perfectly acceptable for a question not to have an answer. So that’s why when things happen outside our reach, we shouldn’t just accept it, we should question it, and work toward an answer.

Growing up, there are many such instances of these things that happen out of your control. Many pertain to how you, as an individual, are perceived by everyone else. Don’t just accept a classification for the mere fact that you could not control it — question it. And then you can decide whether or not you want to do something to change it. This just goes to show that you have more influence than you think.

So even for a film upwards of 180 minutes, we are still left with a sense that something needs to be explained. Sounds familiar. Sounds like a lot of the things I wish were explained to me when I was growing up.

There’s no denying our past has an extraordinary pull on us. If it didn’t we would be radically different creatures, probably on a day-to-day basis. But that means even the painful parts of our past shape us.

Regret is a strong theme in both Magnolia and coming-of-age. I could give you a laundry list of things I’ve done that I’d bleed to take back. I’m sure you could too. Sucks, doesn’t it?

By now, I’ve touted the advantages of aging through a sort of “live and learn” attitude. But there’s a limit to that philosophy. People often mistake that phrase for “live and learn and live again.” No. You got to learn. And then live smart. Don’t squat in your past shits. Flush them down the toilet and wipe your dirty asshole. And on that flowery note, I hope you join me next week.

If you would like to recommend a film and/or talk about your own poop-like experiences, you can reach ELI FLESCH at ekflesch@ucdavis.edu.

Robotic. That’s essentially the type of movement people seem to expect from you. If you don’t conform to the norms laid out and you instead spring to life like an actual human, then there might be something … off.

Take walking around campus for instance — everyone seems to blend together quite seamlessly. There aren’t students running and jumping around like ninjas, nor are there any who really stand out in an obvious way (as far as body language and movement goes).

So, how come this is our reality? Well, the rules of social conduct tell us that bursting out spontaneously would frighten those who don’t do that, and acting wild is for savage animals. But we are savage humans. So, I decided during my daily routines around campus to test this social norm.

When people don’t expect me to transform my slow-paced, run-of-the-mill walk into a full sprint ending with a ninja kick, their visible response portrays their confusion. I think that general members of society think that if someone were to do this kind of thing, they would need to follow it up with some sort of improvised dance or acknowledgement of their public atrocity.

Therefore, when someone like me transitions from normal to momentarily savage and then right back to normal, it plays with people’s minds.

While flying solo and walking between two classes, I played the part of a normie (a term coined by Birdstrike Improv meaning “society’s concoction of normal people”) and I was just walking … but then, unexpected by the people near me, I busted into a sprint and leaped into the air, executing a sub-par heel click (at best), only to continue on normally like nothing happened.

The most socially unacceptable part about this stunt was my lack of acknowledgment in participating in something that deviates from standard public display. The looks I got read as “Wait, what did I just see?” and “What exactly sparked that?” Well, the answers are “You just saw social rebellion, good sir!” and “Nothing. Nothing sparked that. I just felt like it.”

The reason I decided to observe people’s reactions to this type of norm stemmed from a personal experience earlier on in the year. A friend and I were standing outside talking in our dorm complex, when a student sauntered out and, upon passing us, they spontaneously sprinted and executed a mild-core parkour trick off of a planter.

What stunned us was that after this person did that, they continued on so casually just like nothing had happened while philosophically staring up at the sky.

It wasn’t one of those “Hey, I’m going to attempt to impress these people” moves. It was just a student, so completely in their own zone, feeling it. I don’t think they registered that anyone else was around, and so the same thing would have happened even if they were on an uninhabited island.

And we loved it. To this day, we are still completely confused as to what we witnessed that we still talk about it.

It’s not a normal thing to transition the way one carries themselves in public like that — i.e. going from calm and collected to crazy and energetic, and then back to the former.

That experience taught me to expect the unexpected.

I like to think I’ve mastered the craft of doing things that evoke confusion, awe and worry in people. There are a myriad of actions we could take when we participate in ordinary tasks, but the potential judgment of our peers prevents that. Also, it might frighten people.

Despite all of that, let us adopt the phrase “Balls to the wall” and just become impromptu ninjas whenever and wherever.

People may gawk, as did bystanders when I danced and kicked down the aisles of Trader Joe’s, but so be it.

Breaking social norms is all about showing people that rules, especially the unwritten ones, can be broken and that they are just as ridiculous as the sight of me “parkouring” off of a tree in the Quad.

If you want to dash off, kick walls and then pretend like nothing happened with SAVANNAH HOLMES, contact her at skholmes@ucdavis.edu.

The camera zooms in on a French manor in the countryside. It’s an average morning for Beyoncé as she eats breakfast and then dances sensually in a diamond bustier.

After watching the video for Beyoncé’s song “Partition,” there is no denying that Beyoncé is sexy.

But the motivation behind this sexuality has often been questioned.

Is Beyoncé an innately sexual being and merely expressing this through her music and videos? Or has society forced her into sexualizing her music in order to sell records? Or, is she consciously using her sexuality to make money?

Her newest visual album titled “Beyoncé” features 17 videos and not a whole lot of clothing. But I would argue that her videos do tell a story, and she’s not just being sexy to be scandalous (or profitable).

Unlike many women featured in the hip-hop videos of her male counterparts, Beyoncé uses her body to express herself and her music. While you may not experience love the same way as Beyoncé does in her “Drunk in Love” music video — namely, rolling around half-naked in the surf — this, apparently, is how Beyoncé feels when she spends time with her husband Jay-Z.

Each video is an individual piece of art, while still fitting together as a cohesive album. The videos have artistic value, and Beyoncé uses her body, clothing and makeup to give voice to an idea or plotline.

Beyoncé isn’t just shaking her ass on screen. Queen B is just as much of a dancer as she is a singer, and her videos include complex choreography that shows her talent as both a dancer and a performer.

But sometimes it is hard for me to watch Beyoncé perform without the feminist in me feeling a little uncomfortable. Specifically, her halftime show at the 2013 Super Bowl left me feeling torn, and wondering if that much sexuality was needed to catch viewers’ attention. Or maybe I just wasn’t ready for that jelly? (Please go listen to “Bootylicious” by Destiny’s Child if you don’t get this reference).

At first, I thought that I sometimes feel uncomfortable with the overt nature of Queen B’s sexuality because I was raised in a society that equates sexuality with negativity. But after looking at the halftime show as a specific example, I’ve realized that I felt most uncomfortable with this performance because it was so clear that she was using her body for something commercial, rather than expressing her feelings through her music. With millions of people watching and the TV network making billions off of the advertising sold, it was clear that Beyoncé’s body was being used as a commodity, not a version of artistic expression.

Whether or not Beyoncé is using her body to make money consciously or not, she has commented time and time again on her overt sexuality, expressing the fact that she is not ashamed of being a sexual being.

She also asserts that embracing your sexuality does not exclude a woman from other aspects of life. In an interview with Out Magazine, Beyoncé said, “You can be a businesswoman, a mother, an artist, and a feminist — whatever you want to be — and still be a sexual being. It’s not mutually exclusive.”

I see Beyoncé as being a feminist by choosing to do what she wants, and what will make her most successful. Everyone knows that sex sells, and Beyoncé has chosen to embrace that.

Beyoncé addresses the idea that “feminists hate sex” in her song “Partition.” A sample in the background goes, “Les hommes pensent que les féministes détestent le sexe, mais c’est une activité très stimulante et naturelle que les femmes adorent,” which translates to “Men think that feminists detest sex. But it is a stimulating and natural activity that women adore.”

The sexual nature of Beyoncé’s image also forces us to address the idea of sexuality as taboo in our society. In comparison to other countries, it seems to me that the United States sees sexuality as something much more scandalous than natural.

Sex is seen in a negative light in our “progressive” Western society, and sexual women are more often seen as “sluts” than women promoting the importance and acceptance of sexuality. It seems to me that Beyoncé is not using or rejecting her sexuality; rather, she is just being herself. Beyoncé’s brand of sex positivity gives women (and men) the opportunity to see a successful woman accept sex as a part of herself.

If Beyoncé can help women find and embrace their sexuality in a healthy way, then more power to her. There’s no reason that we can’t all express our sexuality over breakfast. Croissants and diamond bustiers for everyone!

If you know where to buy a diamond bustier, email HANNAH STRUMWASSER at hstrumwasser@gmail.com.