Welcome to my last column of the summer! If you’ve been reading my column the entire summer, you might be surprised to find out that I received the most reader response (over the entire summer) for my column on random thoughts.
I find this interesting because I try so very hard each week to come up with a coherent, interesting, timely topic. I try to stay on point, not straying from my beaten path of relevant opinion. But it turns out people like hearing about the extremely subjective, somewhat shady, conspiracy-theory-inspiring issue of “king-size“ candy.
As a result, this column will treat you to some of the thoughts I had this summer but didn’t end up having time to turn into entire columns.
Two-face should really be called “Visually Bipolar Man.“
Move-in week in Davis is awesome. My roommate and I recently found a perfectly good recliner just sitting next to a dumpster. Perfectly good in that it creaks a lot and kind of tips to one side a lot if you’re not careful. Also the handle on the side is missing, so you have to pull out the recliney part manually. Ditto for putting it back. Also there’s a hole in the back. Okay, maybe it’s not perfectly good, but it’s better than the floor. Kind of (look, it was free).
There are almost no YouTube videos featuring Hedonism Bot from Futurama. A travesty!
ASUCD election voter turnout has yet to crack 30 percent … ever, to my knowledge. That’s awful. The student government makes decisions every day that affect the student body (that’s you), you should get out and vote for some of them come this fall (and winter).
National federal election voter turnout has yet to crack 63.1 percent … since 1960, according to the Federal Election Commission. That’s awful. The national government makes decisions every day that affect the citizens of this nation (that’s you), you should get out and vote for some of them this November (and in the future).
The Large Hadron Collider was activated Wednesday! Just the word “supercollider” is exciting. The LHC is intended to provide scientists insight into the formation of the universe. Not cheap (the supercollider carries an $8 billion price tag) but certainly worth it, in my estimation, and I’m glad Europeans were willing to pay for it. The U.S. Congress put the kibosh on plans for an even larger supercollider in 1993 when they heard it would cost $11 billion.
The elderly gentleman at Raja’s Indian Cuisine is probably the nicest waiter I have ever met.
For those who spent part of their weekend comparing the performances of Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre, I’d like to point out that one of Favre’s touchdown passes was a floating jump ball that he’s lucky wasn’t intercepted.
Those who frequent the local Borders may have noticed that in the magazine section, the News and Current Events section is right next to the Gay and Lesbian Interest section. This isn’t really significant, except for a few moments I was under the impression that both The Economist and Newsweek were branching out.
When I became Editor in Chief of The Aggie, I inherited a budget deficit, but I’m glad it was nowhere near the estimated $500 billion deficit the next president will have to deal with. Yikes.
I’d like to end this column by asking you to donate to a hurricane relief fund. Hurricane Gustav is the fourth most destructive hurricane to affect the United States, having already caused over $20 billion in damages. It has also severely affected surrounding nations, especially Cuba. Hurricane Ike is also on the horizon, threatening. Cuba has already experienced the 85 mph winds and 23-foot waves to the tune of over 200 homes being destroyed and many more damaged.
Your contributions are essential and appreciated.
RICHARD PROCTER and The Aggie are hiring columnists for the coming year! Please come by 25 Lower Freeborn for an application, or email him and ask for one at firstname.lastname@example.org.XXX
Infobox – Disaster Relief Funds
LSU Foundation – lsufoundation.org
American Red Cros – american.redcross.org
National Organization for Victim Assistance – trynova.org
Salvation Army – salvationarmy.org
Pan American Relief – panamericanrelief.org