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Davis, California

Wednesday, July 17, 2024

Stiff Donuts

Stiff Donuts

Once You Go Chocolate You Never Go Back



Rating: 3


When I’m reviewing a record that’s deliberately made with little to no effort, I don’t see why I should put in the effort to punctuate or capitalize. In fact, m4by3 1 5h0u1d wryt3 l1k3 tihs. m30w.

The guy behind Stiff Donuts, Mike Hymson, doesn’t care that he has “enough bad print reviews to wallpaper my house.” According to Hymson, he “invented [his] own genre of music.” He said this and other wonderful claims in the one-page rant sent with his release, Once You Go Chocolate You Never Go Back.

This genre of music he’s referring to is called indie-comedy-thrash. Hymson describes it as “equal parts Will Ferrell, Depeche Mode and Slayer.” In other words: Tenacious D, except not as good.

“I became a musical pioneer who plumbs the depths of ridiculousness to put a smile on your fat face,” he said.

To be fair, this album, like the guy’s letter, has some funny moments. Some are even intentional, like the over-the-top rock star wails on be extra gentle when you go muff diving.” When speaking of his favorite veggie, broccoli, Hymson says, “I eat the head and eat the stalk. … Eat the stalk!” Maybe this is one if those “had to be there” kind of things.

The fake drums on each track make the songs sound amateur and canned. As a whole, the album sounds like one long medley or what would happen if you accidentally put the first song on repeat and listened to it eight times.

If the best part of your comedic CD isn’t the actual music, then maybe you should just stick to taking pictures of donut schlongs and writing ridiculous things about yourself. I think they call those people bloggers.


Give these tracks a listen: “Be Extra Gentle When You Go Muff Diving,” “Fake I.D.”


For fans of: Tenacious D, Reggie and the Full Effect


– Chris Rue


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