There are tons of relationship tips lurking around in places like magazines, books, the Internet and just about everyone you know. With this overabundance of tips, it is no surprise that some of them aren’t really true. Below, I have listed four myths regarding what it takes to create a healthy relationship and what they should be instead.
Myth 1: Never lie. Many relationship connoisseurs would agree that any sort of lying is detrimental to the health of a relationship. Frequent lies will not add up in the end and it is best to avoid them. This means you can’t blame it on the dog anymore.
What it should be: Never want to lie.
People don’t lie without an incentive to lie; there is always an underlying reason. Don’t give yourself or your partner a reason to lie in the first place. If you lie about the night you went drinking with your friends, you should be concerned about why you needed to lie. Why did you blame it on the dog? Maybe your partner needs to start accepting foul odors and their true creator.
Myth 2: Take time to cuddle. If your mate is sitting there watching TV or reading a book, why not cuddle with them? Both of you will feel secure and loved with every moment of cuddling goodness.
What it should be: Take the time to huddle.
What can be more fun than holding an oversized arm-numbing hunk of meat? Let’s be honest, as relationships progress, cuddling is no more fun than wrestling a walrus. Instead of cuddling, you should huddle! In a huddle you do more than press against each other, you also communicate. Huddling is an intimate means of communication – think about it: It’s hard to be mad at each other in a huddle.
Myth 3: Set aside time for romance. When the relationship starts to go sour, you should set aside some time for romance. A romantic candle light dinner will spark your relationship back to life.
What it should be: Have romance set itself up.
The big corporations have succeeded in profiteering from our desire for romance. Just take your partner on an overpriced vacation and save your relationship from destruction! These corporations have us believing that romance is out there and we just need to go find it. Real romance just happens, regardless of the context. Romance is a state of mind and can be done anywhere, such as the park, living room, backyard, Motel 6 or even the kitchen sink (if you know what I mean).
Myth 4: Set up boundaries. Every relationship needs to set up guidelines in order for it to work. Make sure your partner knows your boundaries before they get crossed. For instance, let your partner know that you don’t want them going to strip clubs.
What it should be: Break down desires to cross boundaries.
Don’t be an oppressive dictator with rules and regulations or else V will blow up your house. We all know what happens in an oppressive government, people begin to rebel in the name of freedom. Give your partner enough rules and they will want to break them. Instead, make your partner not want to cross your boundaries. If your mate wants to go to a strip club, just strip for them, free of charge. Not only will this bring you closer together, it will abolish the need to set up rules.
This advice can also be applied to keeping your partner from cheating. Instead of constantly threatening your mate to stay with you, make them want to stay with you by keeping them attracted. Not only will this make your relationship more passionate, it will keep the two of you from cheating. And if doing this fails, then the relationship was probably not meant to be.
LIOR GOTESMAN wants you to help him with his relationship with his readers by contacting him at firstname.lastname@example.org.