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Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Column: Mormon mommy blogs

Mormon mommy blogs: I can’t stop/won’t stop. I’m obsessed. If you’re not a college female, I don’t blame you for not knowing what I’m talking about. Don’t worry — not only do these blogs not affect you in any way, but you can go your entire life without having to think about a growing group of bloggers that influence women and their standards of living.

With the rise of Pinterest users, more females than ever are sporting pastel-colored skinny jeans, taking pictures of their glitter espadrilles while twisting their hair into top knots. Do a little investigating and you’re led to a group of women who blog about their perfect lives, their perfect hair and their surprisingly hipster fashion for being 23-year-old mothers of two.

What I just described was what I like to call a “Mormon Mommy Blogger.” Hard to become, hard to replicate. Mostly because the majority of us don’t have enough motivation or dedication to convert and/or essentially drop off our college graduation gowns in exchange for a husband and “perfect life.”

In my recent attempt to become more feminine, or rather more in tune with what females these days are interested in besides the latest episode of “Pretty Little Liars” or Instagramming coffee mugs, I asked my female friends what I should be obsessing over. Without hesitation, they all stared into my soul while screeching, “MOM BLOGS!”

At first I thought they were referring to some sort of Martha Stewart-esque food and craft blog, but I was mistaken — big time. A minute of scrolling on these blogs and I was suddenly sucked into a world of adorable young love. Everything I secretly wanted in life was displayed in filtered photographs of babies, kittens and hipster husbands in San Francisco.

Needless to say, I honestly spent 24 hours in bed stalking these women’s lives through their perfectly manicured and edited blogs. Usually through Blogspot, the blogs consist of the chronicling of pregnancy (which appears easy and graceful), city adventures, glittery crafts and seriously adorable fashion displays. And no, none of it gets old.

Not only are all of these blogs either sponsored or neatly covered in ads, but they have serious followings. Thousands if not hundreds of thousands of readers check in every day for updates on babies, fashion inspiration and an escape from our obviously non-Mormon Mommy Blogger lives. These women make BANK.

And the reason why I refer to these addicting websites as Mormon is because on almost every blog there’s a link labeled “our beliefs” which leads to the mormon.org website. Either this is one giant advertising campaign by the Church or the release of the recipe for the fountain of youth and happiness. I’m assuming the latter is more likely.

I wish I could endorse this lifestyle, but I don’t think I support it. Sure, it would be nice to publicly blog personal family photos, recipes and my poor wardrobe choices, but that would encompass pretty much all I would be able to do with my life. I want to be able to have my average of 3.5 children and five cats and maintain my power-couple status in the working world in which I am HBIC (head bitch in charge).

I don’t see any working moms managing popular fashion and lifestyle blogs. In all honesty, I don’t think I’m going to even know any young moms, let alone ones that will be collected and happy enough to chronicle life’s little pleasures online.

So forgive me if I like to indulge in a lifestyle that many young women secretly obsess over online — I’ll be the one writing the psychological research journal in 10 years on this phenomenon anyway.

Think it would be entertaining to read about ELIZABETH ORPINA’s future half-Asian beautiful children and the crazy high-fashion choices she wants to make for them through her pseudo-Mormon lifestyle choices? Yeah, she does too. Agree with her at arts@theaggie.org.

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