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Sunday, November 28, 2021

AggieAngelous

 

ThePoetry — ThePoets&ThePoetesses

TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains references to abuse.  

 

The Poetry

“You are not a beater”

By Samantha Chiang

 

You are not a beater

I refuse to believe that one incident does a person make

You are not some mentally unstable guy in need of anger management

You are not someone who needs to assert his masculinity

You are gentle, you are kind, you are self assured

You are not a beater

You are not a beater

You never even laid that hand on me

At least not that time

Instead you just told me

That if that little white stick showed two lines, one line more than we wanted

You would throw me into a river

Love river

You told me that it couldn’t be true because you had your whole life ahead of you

So I took my fists and I beat my stomach every night

Bum bum bum

Pounding rhythmically to rid any chances of that rhythmic unborn heartbeat

And the raw red skin blistered and begged me to stop

But I would not stop

Because you were not a beater

I would beat for you

I wince with every step I take

When my friends ask I blow it off as an injury

Nobody asks further questions

Because they know you are not a beater

Never once do they stop to think that it may just be the perfect genius boy who doled out the injuries scattered across my legs

It had to have been the clumsy little girl

It couldn’t have been you

It wouldn’t have crossed a single mind

They all knew that

You

You were not

You were never

You would never be

A beater

But the black and blue on my back says otherwise

And when my mother sees it she asks me how I got it

My mother knows where I got it

I tell her I’ve been playing a little too much soccer

I tell her I’ve tripped and fallen

I tell her I got it battling the dragons and unicorns up in the sky

But my mother knows

I do not tell her though

So the bruise grows between my mother and I like the thorny bramble of some villainous fairytale

But it is alright

Because you are not a beater

You are not a beater

But that one day on the roof of our school

I may have had second thoughts

When I begged you to stay

And you told me to leave

When I clung to you like an adolescent clings onto the last fallen days of summer

Trying to inhale all there is to inhale, trying to do all that can be done, trying to see all that can be seen

Only to realize that summer has gone and the leaves have fallen

Leaving the trees barren

I never would have guessed that you would have pushed me

I never would have been able to imagine the soaring pain

I never could imagine it before you

You may not be a beater

But you beat the will out of me

 

ThePoets&ThePoetesses

“You are not a beater” by Samantha Chiang

I’m Samantha, a first-year English major with aspirations of pursuing the emphases of creative writing and literary theory. My ultimate goal in a professional capacity is to become a judge. In my spare time, I can be found reading, crafting and playing soccer. I have an enormous appreciation for poetry, both spoken and written, even if my own poetry pales in comparison to the greats. My favorite poem is “My November Guest” by Robert Frost. This poem is intended to be spoken, but I believe that its message still comes through in written form.

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Send your poetry to aggieangelous@gmail.com with your name, major, year and a short, one-to-two paragraph description about yourself. Feel free to include your interests and/or hobbies, or maybe even your favorite quote!

 

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