By Alice Hsueh
I was so certain until yesterday.
Well, as certain as I was ever going to be.
Like the sunsets you admire, I felt myself evanescing
Embracing the idea of your love
Colors deliquesce into swathes of poppy-bright warmth, tangerine heat
I could surrender like the last sigh of the sun.
But as I sat, he caught my eye.
A pat on the shoulder, a gentle touch to the knee, we twinkled over nothing.
“I remember you,” was all he said.
And as I swirled the wine in my cup, watching it glimmer in the candlelight
The stars, they dance in our lanterns.
Windows of the soul, they say.
So then tell me, can you see at all into mine?
There’s a brightness that is blinding me, even in the dark
It hits me like an accusation in the night
I am full of it, lost in a haze of shapes and incandescence
And trapped inside my premonitory vertigo, as I close my eyes
Just these words:
“I am sorry I am living a lie.”
Phosphenes by Alice Hsueh
My name is Alice Hsueh; I am a fourth-year pursuing a degree in English, as well as a psychology minor. My career goal is to enter the field of journalism and my dream is to become a famous novelist. I spend most of my free time daydreaming in the clouds, or in the virtual aisles of online stores. On the rare occasions that I am not doing these things, I also like to spend my free time drawing, singing and performing. You can follow my artsy-fartsy ramblings via medium.com/@lilyrin or twitter.com/adrieleverin.
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