Opinion

Israel is fighting a Hydra.

In Greek mythology, the Hydra was an enormous, serpent-like creature with multiple heads that could not be defeated by conventional means; if a would-be hero severed one of the heads, two more would sprout, strengthening the beast. The harder someone tried to destroy the beast, the more dangerous it became.

The unhealthy alcohol-caffeine hybrid drink, Sparks, is about to lose its energy. After attorneys general from several states bullied MillerCoors, Sparks' manufacturer, into halting production, several questions remain.

Free lift tickets. Two free season passes to Sugar Bowl. Free snowboard jackets, boots and apparel. A body-painting contest. A Greek attendance competition. The chance to be on television.

That's what it took to get a crowd of 2,378 to come to the Pavilion on Saturday to watch the UC Davis men's basketball team host Big West Conference foe Long Beach State.

I'm not sure whether this list entry was prompted by four of the most interesting classes I've taken at Davis all occurring simultaneously or whether it was because of my embarrassing realization that I had never before completed every word of reading assigned to me during the week it was assigned.

The New York Times recently announced that it is now selling advertising space on its front page. The ads will be relatively small and appear below the fold.

This development should be a signal to anyone who hasn't been paying attention so far that newspapers as we know them are in trouble (much like the boat breaking in half would have been a clue to get off the Titanic).

As a seasoned flyer (32 flights since being accepted to UCD), I would like to take this opportunity to offer some valuable insight for those who are less experienced with airline travel.

Economists love food. It's in their model goods (ice cream cones), proverbs (there's no such thing as a free lunch) and metaphors (piece of the economic pie). This may be why I've been unable to convey simple truths about externalities and market failures to econ majors; I haven't been talking enough about melamine milk and morbid obesity.

During my holiday break, I practiced one of the most valued and celebrated holiday traditions - I went shopping with friends. Being the cheap person I am, I just sat on a bench waiting for something free to fall on my lap. As I was patiently waiting, I noticed a small winter oasis localized in the mall's hub. This garden of enchanted trees, fake snow, presents and screaming children surrounded what is known as the almighty Mall Santa Claus.

Many enter 2009 disheartened by the events of late 2008 and they should prepare for more disappointments or, at the very least, a moment of pessimism. Ushered in is not a new vigor but a year of uncertainty and unpredictability. We are entering the age of turbulent dissonance, a period without much precedent.

Welcome to the '09 show. If you're like me, you may have spent a tiny fraction of your winter break wondering why the hell you know the lyrics to "The Bad Touch" by heart but couldn't remember shit when you sat down to take your finals. It's sad to think that this may speak volumes about my personal priorities.

In its 100-year history, UC Davis has had only five chancellors. That's merely five opportunities to choose the person who sets the tone and direction for a campus of over 30,000 students. The selection procedure for the sixth chancellor has been under way since October, but the lack of transparency in the process is leaving students in the dark - and consequently apathetic.

Prominent feminist and political activist Gloria Steinem cancelled a planned speech at UC Davis in December, reportedly in recognition of the ongoing labor dispute between the University of California and members of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees Local 3299.

I am a big fan of Tupac Shakur. I like his music and I like his style. Don't stop reading this just because you don't like rap music or think Tupac was overrated. Hear me out:

Baby 2009 has only just been catapulted squealing into our arms and already her diaper is loaded and in need of a change. Time moves fast. Deadlines approach. Quandaries call out for resolution. Even if the problems we face haven't changed - culture wars, environmental deterioration, undying greed - we can use this new year as an opportunity to look at them with new eyes.

"[Expletive deleted]!" This basically sums up 2008. You don't need to read this column to realize it was besmirched with hard times. It saw the tragic deaths of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac (don't worry, they're banks). The housing bubble popped, destroying the national money market and creating a credit crunch.