Dictionary.com: “Art, noun [pronounced – ahrt]: The quality, production, expression or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing or of more than ordinary significance.”

Elizabeth Orpina: “Art, noun [pronounced – Mean Girls]: Art takes human form in Regina George.”

As you can tell, I’m obviously on my way to becoming the next writer for Merriam-Webster. And as you can tell by my textbook definition of this subjective topic, I have a different idea of art. Yes, I’m obsessed with musical theatre, movie scores and photography — but there’s just so much more to art that I believe goes unappreciated. I mean, I think we should all be doing what I do on a daily basis.

I dissect and examine the newly constructed bone structure of Heidi Montag, am dazzled by the hair-flipping science of Justin Bieber and the beautiful locks of the boys of One Direction, cry myself to sleep every once in a while to the Lost soundtrack, and study (and I literally mean study) make-up application.

As the newly appointed Arts Editor of The Aggie, I do feel that it’s my civil duty and god-given right to educate the student body on the art of looking at the unexamined world through my eyes.

Now, you may be thinking, “Who the hell is this girl? How did she get this job?” Trust me — just trust me. Arts & Entertainment is my thing — just like every other past arts editor, I’m going to bring something different to MUSE. So don’t worry — I’m just being Miley.

If you aren’t convinced that I’m worthy of being in charge of the Arts section for the paper, let me give my credentials. I discovered my love for singing at the beginning of my senior year of high school, joined Women’s Choir and obtained a semi-lead in the spring musical Seussical. A common pastime for my mother and me is attending every musical offered in the Bay Area — I even go back home just to be able to Bart to San Francisco for shows. Birthday and Christmas gifts don’t consist of new clothes or money — I present my family a list of musicals I have yet to experience.

I used to work at a movie theatre for two years, guaranteeing me free access to any and every movie I wanted to watch. I’ve seen every movie trailer, sold tickets to movies that no one’s ever heard about and overused my ability to get free access to $20 IMAX seats. At football games, I walked around during the actual game and intently watched/soaked in the genius of my school’s nationally ranked marching band’s performance. I was Editor in Chief of my high school yearbook, so naturally I critique and obsess over fonts and picas.

I’m surrounded by a spectrum of artists. Some of my good friends include up-and-coming cinematographers, nationally ranked dancers, aspiring actors who are friends with the producers of Glee, talented aspiring architects and graphic designers for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

But in all honesty, I’m excited to share my thoughts on my favorite musicals, my favorite lines from smartly written television scripts and my reasoning on why owning a Polaroid or $3,000 camera does NOT mean you are a talented photographer. I think tattoos are becoming a fad — too many people are making uneducated decisions about this permanent art form.

I believe that art needs to be experienced in order to be appreciated — yes, watching Gwen Stefani perform with her Harajuku girls was one of the best concert experiences I’ve had, but true artistry emerges when your entire body is filled with such happiness and chills that you just have to obsess over every single song and picture of this artist (i.e., Allen Stone).

For readers of this column, I require a simple list of demands: You must appreciate and most importantly understand my sarcastic and cruel humor, realize that I’m not kidding when I spend paragraphs examining and exploring the patterns of cat fur and agree with me that Mean Girls and Bridesmaids are some of the most brilliantly written pieces of this time. Oh, and one last thing if you were worried: I will NOT be shoving Glee down your throats (Smash is where it’s at, anyway).

I’m going to introduce to you the art of looking at the world the way I do. And with that, I’ll leave you with this:

I know you’ve heard it before, but have you ever listened? Have you ever really, truly listened to “Party Rock Anthem”?

Tell ELIZABETH ORPINA why she’s your national anthem. If you don’t understand that reference, explain to her in .gif form why you don’t know who Lana Del Rey is at arts@theaggie.org.

Trio7
Tomorrow, 8 p.m. $15/$10 (student)
Davis Art Center, 1919 F St.
Part of the Davis Art Center’s Third Annual Classical Guitar Ensemble Series, Trio7 performs a show on three extended seven-string guitars. What’s unique about this show is that the music played is not typically associated with the guitar: Debussy, Moussorgsky and a world premier of “5 Pieces” by Sacramento composer Phillip Miller. To add a little more to the show, Trio7 will entertain with popular movie and video game themes.

DIM MAK’s Dead Meat Tour: Steve Aoki & Datsik
Wednesday, March 14, 6:30 p.m.
Freeborn Hall
$25/$20 (student)
Get ready for a night full of electro-house music with some of the most prominent DJs in the country, put on by Entertainment Council.

THEATRE/MONDAVI
Garrick Ohlsson, piano
Tomorrow, 8 p.m. $36/$30/$17.5
Jackson Hall, Mondavi Center
As the winner of the 1970 Chopin International Piano Competition, world-renown musician Garrick Ohlsson performs an all-Liszt program. He has long been regarded as one of the world’s leading exponents of the music of Chopin and will continue to inspire at his show tomorrow night.

UC Davis Symphony Orchestra: On Our Way to Spain!
Sunday, 7 p.m., $17/ $15/ $12/ $8 (student)
Jackson Hall, Mondavi Center
The show serves as a preview of the UC Davis Symphony Orchestra’s Spain tour, which takes place from March 24 to April 4. During the Spain tour, the orchestra will grace four major venues in Madrid, Valencia, Granada and Barcelona. Christian Baldini, music director and conductor, leads Sunday’s show, which includes works from Debussy, Mozart and Schumann.

The House of Bernarda Alba
Thursday to Saturday, March 8 to 10, 15 to 17 at 8 p.m. & Sunday, March 11 & 18 at 2 p.m.
$17/$19/$14/$12 (student)
Main Theatre, Wright Hall
Directed by Winter 2012 Granada Artist-in-Residence Juliette Carrillo, this drama showcases themes of repression, passion and conformity. Completed two months before his murder during the Spanish Civil War, Federico Garcia Lorca’s The House of Bernarda Alba centers on the impacts of men on women when five daughters are stuck in their mother’s house for eight years of mourning.

ART/GALLERY
3rd Annual Art of Painting in the 21st Century Conference 2012
Student exhibitions Saturday, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.
$35/$30 (student)
John Natsoulas Center for the Arts, 521 First St.
Gathering artists from different communities presenting the opportunity for interaction between young students and professionals, this conference makes present the tradition of painting and culture in Northern California. With panel discussions, breakout groups and lectures, this conference provides education while also including student exhibitions. This Saturday, check out the five downtown Davis student exhibitions, all curated by instructors of Northern California campuses.

ELIZABETH ORPINA can be reached at arts@theaggie.org.