The day you’ve been waiting for all year is almost here. That’s right kids, tomorrow is Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry’s! Rejoice!
I happen to think that Free Cone Day is one of those rare events of harmonious perfection that occasionally take place in the universe. Unlimited amounts of free ice cream: What more could anyone want?
There are, however, some lame, snarky people who find fault with Free Cone Day. These people complain that the line is too long. Oh no, life is so hard that you have to wait a few minutes to get some free ice cream.
Listen people, if you were living in a dictatorship, you’d have to queue up to buy everything. Example: In one of my drama classes I had to read this play that took place in Romania. In the play, a family stood in line for hours just to buy four freaking eggs. Then, somebody dropped an egg and the family had to scoop up the yolk from the ground so they could make food with it because they had nothing else to eat. They had to eat floor egg. See, that actually sucks. Waiting in line for free ice cream, I don’t think that sucks so much.
Of course, I am one of those Ben and Jerry’s fans who doesn’t mind waiting a little bit for ice cream. I’m not as die hard as some people. For instance, when Ben and Jerry’s was offering super special Simpsons-themed “Duff and D’oh!-nuts” flavored ice cream for one day, I was at home for winter break. The nearest Ben and Jerry’s was 40 miles away. Plus, it was violently raining and windy. As much as I wanted that ice cream, I didn’t want to die to get it. No “Duff and D’oh!-nuts” for me.
When ice cream is in my area, however, I get what I want. Last year, Ben and Jerry’s released “Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream.” I searched high and low in every grocery store in town, but could not find a single carton of the elusive ice cream. One day I was in Albertson’s (nowSave Martand I approached the manager because I actually did need assistance. I explained my dilemma. He too was a Colbert fan. He promised to get the ice cream. He told me to come back in a few days, as his supplier should have some Colbert ice cream by then.
I came back and the manager told me sadly that he hadn’t gotten the ice cream yet. He told me to come back in a few more days. I did. Still no ice cream. He told me to come in a few more days. I did. And guess what? My Stephen Colbert ice cream had finally arrived! The manager felt so bad about the wait that he gave me three cartons. For FREE. It was the greatest day of my life (shows you what an exciting life I’ve led so far).
Really, there is nothing better than free ice cream. Too bad you didn’t get the memo, Baskin-Robbins. This Wednesday, just one day after Ben and Jerry’s Free Cone Day, Baskin-Robbins is having 31 Cent Scoop Night. Sure, 31 cents would sound like a pretty good deal most days, but the day after Free Cone Day? Not so much.
Also, Baskin-Robbins limits you to ten cones on 31 Cent Scoop Night. Not that you should eat more than ten cones because you’ll be barfing up Neapolitan all night long, but still, it’s the principle of the matter. But since Davis has two Baskin-Robbins, I suppose you could go to the Downtown one, eat 10 scoops, paying a whopping $3.10 and then head over to the one on Covell, which makes a grand total of 20 scoops for $6.20 (it is only necessary to do math when ice cream is involved).
Whatever, Baskin-Robbins. You’ve been dead to me since dollar scoop night turned into $1.50 scoop night. Just because they raised the minimum wage doesn’t mean you have to raise dollar scoop night prices. I think Sudwerk’s still has dollar pint night on Wednesdays. They didn’t raise their prices. Take a cue from them, Baskin-Robbins. Don’t be greedy.
RACHEL SKYTT usually can only eat two free cones at Free Cone Day. E-mail her at raskytt@ucdavis.edu and tell her how many free cones you expect to eat tomorrow.
