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Davis

Davis, California

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Editorial: California Aggie style

The incredibly active Facebook page UC Davis Confessions seems like it’s updated every few minutes with a new anonymous “confession” from a UC Davis student. We’re inspired.

That page garnered over 2,000 likes in just a few weeks, so in an effort to make our own California Aggie page more likable, here are some of our own confessions:

We’re kind of gross. And by gross, we mean our-office-floors-just-got-cleaned-for-the-first-time-since-the-1970s kind of gross. There’s a sign on the refrigerator that says we clean it every Friday, but that is not the case. There’s still a gingerbread house sitting in the freezer from nearly four years ago, and it’s too late to throw it out now. We’re emotionally attached.

We also have a bagel that’s been hanging from the ceiling for as long as anyone can remember. The fact that it’s not even moldy still frightens us.

Our office is nearly as old as those in “Mad Men,” but nowhere near as stylish. We have borderline antique Danish designer furniture in our newsroom. Our darkroom has been named The Orgasmatron ever since Woody Allen’s 1973 movie Sleeper. One of our door codes is programmed with a PalmPilot.

Yes. A PalmPilot.

We work an unhealthy number of hours. Most students who work at The Aggie are unpaid, and the managers receive weekly stipends that would probably make most people laugh. One of our editors recently calculated his hours and wasn’t even surprised to learn he was making $1.22 per hour. And no, he did not include the time spent sleeping at his desk.

One last confession: we do mess up sometimes. We know that. We’ll usually blame it on said unhealthy number of hours on top of being full-time students on top of not being professional journalists.

Believe it or not, a lot of Aggie alumni go on to do great things in the real world. Folks have gone on to Columbia for journalism school, done media relations for the Oakland Athletics, served as the White House correspondent for Newsweek, web edited for NBC, produced shows for NPR and more.

But somehow, none of our confessions can beat the gold that comes out of UC Davis Confessions — an example from the other night: “I’m the kind of guy who only needs an empty toilet paper roll, a latex glove and vegetable oil to have fun. Holla at me.”

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