This one’s going to leave a dent
Oops, we did it again. And by “oops” I mean that somehow Davis is involved in a money-making scandal that went awry. Except this time, it’s the town of Davis and not the college — but really the two are so intertwined that it probably did have something to do with someone serving on some board that they probably shouldn’t have been on. Anyway, the details are hazy, and it’s been a while since I took a high school economics class or watched “The Big Short.” What I do know is that the Dow Jones has seemed to go down. It might have gone up since I decided to write this article, but regardless, if it has changed, it will probably change again, and then this article will be applicable and I will have predicted something before it happened. I guess maybe this is “The Big Short” sequel. Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.
Anyway, Davis is a town with some houses and apartment complexes, and people seem to pay rent and live in them. People also sometimes own them, but I’m not really sure what that’s like. There’s also student housing. You catch my drift. Lots of housing. But like my good friend “anonymous” (not the online activist group but someone whose name I don’t know) said, “With a lot of housing come a lot of loans from the bank.” I’m not sure who is taking out these loans or how they are being disguised or packaged in this day and age (I think that’s the correct terminology, but it definitely isn’t). All I know is that there is some sneakiness going on, and that sneakiness has lead to some investing and maybe some price manipulation. And, mazel tov, it turns out that cute little Davis has the capacity of crashing the stock market once and for all.
This might have seemed a little too vague or too complicated to understand the true implications of the Davis housing bubble, but I don’t make the rules. If you want to learn more about this, I suggest you ask your landlord. I’m sure they will have something factual and honest to say about it.
Written by: Rosie Schwarz — email@example.com
(This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)