Blames Trump
On Oct. 2, 2020, upon hearing the news that President Donald Trump had contracted COVID-19, Ethan Matthews turned to social media to gloat. The enthusiastic President-elect Joe Biden supporter blasted the president with tweets like, “Looks like Don the Con got what he deserved!” and “Maybe you should have worn a mask COVID-Donnie!”
About a month later, Matthews tested positive for COVID-19. The cause? Likely the large gathering that Matthews attended to celebrate Joe Biden winning the 2020 election. When asked if he regrets his actions, Matthews, between long fits of coughs, responded emphatically, “Not at all, we needed to show Trump we’ve had enough of his response to the virus, and we needed everybody to come together, physically, to show him that we are against his reckless actions in response to COVID-19.”
Despite attending the large gathering Matthews has remained consistent and has put all the blame on President Trump, “Yeah, this is definitely Trump’s fault. I wouldn’t have been out there celebrating if he hadn’t lost. He knew this would happen. Our blood is on your hands Donald.”
Matthews has since recovered from the virus, and wants people to know that they should take this virus as seriously as he did, “I just hope the people see what happened to me and take this virus seriously. I listened to the doctors and have been against this reckless federal government response to the virus, but I still got it. I hope everybody realizes that Trump is responsible for people like me getting the virus.”
When asked if this experience would cause him to take the virus more seriously, Matthews was adamant that he always did, “I believe in Dr. Fauci. I want a president who will listen to him and the other scientists. That’s why those thousands of people and I were out there celebrating, because the scientists will finally be listened to.”
Written By: Ean Kimura — etkimura@ucdavis.edu
(This article is humor and/or satire, and it’s content is purely fictional. The story and or names of “sources” are fictionalized.)
