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Friday, June 18, 2021

Course recommendations for summer sessions

No, they don’t have the major class you need. Have you considered “Zombies Civil Rights”?

A Spring Quarter slowly draws to a close, you might be thinking that your last day of Zoom lectures is near. Do not despair, however, for there remains another chance to pretend your microphone has stopped working: summer sessions.

Lucky for you, we’ve sifted through the myriad of courses offered and we’ll now present you with a roundup of the best classes to take while daydreaming about the simplicity of 2012’s impending Armageddon.

Summer Session I:

  • Cinema & Digital Media 002 – How to Cope With the Death of Your Favorite Character 
  • Political Science 103 – Cyberbullying Ted Cruz
    • Course Credit Limitation: Only two units of credit for those students who have completed Cyberbullying Lindsay Graham.
  • Religious Studies 048 – The Flying Spaghetti Monster
  • Communications 162 – How to Avoid Talking to Your Homophobic Aunt 
    • Description: Standard diversion tactics, faking static on the telephone and miming an unspecified emergency that requires your immediate attention.
  • Sociology 120 – Avoiding Social Pressure to Watch Anime 
    • Description: Not watching “Attack on Titan” is your constitutional right. May be taught abroad.
  • Chemistry/Psychology 008 – Mandatory Therapy for Students Taking Organic Chemistry
  • Linguistics 019 – Elementary Klingon 
    • Description: The class that says, “My parents are working hard to pay for my education and I do not care.”

Summer Session II: 

  • Films Studies 045 – Twilight 
    • Workload Units: Eight.
  • English 177 – Study of an Individual Author: Your TA’s Edgy Poetry
  • Education 103 – Perfecting the “I Don’t Know, Can You?”
  • Nutrition 100 – Cooking the Appropriate Amount of Spaghetti
    • Description: Those weird portion gadgets are for the weak.
  • Political Science 118 – Is Humanity Doomed? Yes.
    • Course Materials: TikTok, that movie they made out of a Wattpad story, the U.S. Constitution.
  • Philosophy 035 – Veganism is Immoral, Embrace Cannibalism
  • Geology 130 – Licking Rocks
    • Description: The Rolling Stones, crystal meth and Pop Rocks not included.
  • Communications 180 – Are You Mad at Me?
  • Viticulture & Enology 070 – Explaining Your Major to Other People
  • Spanish 025 – Just the Curse Words

Written by: Annabel Marshall — almarshall@ucdavis.edu 

Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)

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