Students demand action as egg prices continue to rise
By VIOLET ZANZOT— vmzanzot@ucdavis.edu
This question, I am sure, is on everyone’s minds: What are we to do about the cost of eggs? It’s no secret that egg prices are on the rise and have yet to hit a breaking point. When eggs cost almost as much as a quarter at Davis, it becomes high time that the administration rectifies the situation. They need to crack open the case and work to maintain the physical and mental well-being of students during these trying times.
Fried, scrambled or deviled, the students deserve equal access to egg-ucation. So what does the university decide to cook up? The auctioning of the famous eggheads — profiting off of the suffering of others. Of course, it is in our time of trouble that the university’s response serves us more problems, over-easy.
First, the minus system, which operates only to damage our grade point averages, and now this. Luckily, as we all know by now, we are a university full of activists. We stood up for teaching assistants and dining hall employee conditions, and now we stand up for our eggs.
I call the students of UC Davis to action. In fact, I invite you all to a feast. On May 1, 2025, there will be omelets available for everyone. Come one, come all to the biggest event of the year! We will be cracking open the egg in front of Shields Library; We will call the egghead formerly known as “Bookhead” our breakfast as we stand up to authoritarianism.
We will not sit idly by while our great institution sells out, becoming another victim of corporate greed. I choose to protest and I choose to do so with extra cheese and a slight crisp — please join me.
We will have several signs available for students to borrow. Here is a list of what we have thus far, but please feel free to bring your own:
- You can’t crack us!
- Admin is going to shell.
- I put all my eggs in one basket and the university stole it.
- I’m runny-ing away!
- Our lives are not a yolk!
- We are not chicken, we will fight back!
- Nevertheless, she eggsisted.
We hope to see you all there!
Written by: Violet Zanzot— vmzanzot@ucdavis.edu
Disclaimer: (This article is humor and/or satire, and its content is purely fictional. The story and the names of “sources” are fictionalized.)
